I met a girl at a bar a few nights ago and we got talking for a couple of hours. We ended up kissing and exchanging numbers and we messaged a little that night and the next day. She seemed really keen and forward when we were messaging while still drunk but I think we both got a bit shy the next day when we sobered up. I’m meant to meet her today, nothing crazy just a few drinks, but I’m absolutely terrified. I’m 27 and have never been on a real ‘date’ and honestly feel sick with nerves. She also moves away to another country in a couple of months so it’s not like this can be a long lived thing. I suppose in some ways that takes some pressure off and we can just enjoy it for what it is maybe, but I honestly feel so out my depth. I know eventually I just have to overcome that fear and force myself into dating obviously, and she told me she’s nervous too to be fair, but I honestly feel so nervous and feel like I’m gonna be a wreck.
17 comments
What you did the first night you met her sounds like most of my dates! Think of this as your second date. I’m in my 40s and have been on so. many. dates. and still get anxious AF before each one. Good luck and woosaaawwwwwww that nervous system!
You’re terrified because you care not because you’re incapable. Stop trying to do dating right l and just get curious about her. One conversation at a time. Worst case you gain experience. Best case you have a great night.
Hey it’s very normal to feel nervous! I’ve been on a couple of dates and I’m always nervous. What are you exactly nervous about?
Nothing to be scared of.
The whole idea of dating and relationships is so romanticized by social media (and even society) that it makes us think it’s a bigger deal than it is. It’s no big deal… You just be yourself, it’s that simple. The conversations and vibes will direct themselves as long as you just be yourself and talk about things that y’all both have interest in.
Make sure to clean your bathroom, living room, and bedroom because she’s most likely going back to your place. Have fun my guy 🙂 being nervous is normal but you can still score
dont worry bro she probably is also anxious, just be yourself and try to think that she is just your friend. No obligations, no special desires, no requirements, you expect NOTHING from her.
You just see how it goes
Ride the tiger baby – go with the flow
Maybe later go to cinema
Maybe go to park
Maybe go for a walk in shopping mall
up to you and her
how both of you feel
RIDE THE TIGER BABYYYY
Feeling nervous is totally normal, just focus on her and getting to know her. Don’t worry about trying to do everything right or whatever.
No matter what happens this is a good learning experience so you can get comfortable with this stuff.
Don’t think of it as more than a friendly chat, every relationship starts from friendship, you already talked before and even kissed, just think of this “date” as a continuation of the last conversation you had, it shouldn’t be any different.
My best dates ever have happened when I told the other person I was nervous. Not just out of the gate but normally there willl be a time during the date that conversation slows or there’s just an awkward nervous energy. I would just say “ya know I’ve been so nervous for this” or even “I’m feeling so nervous haha” most of the time if you are feeling nervous they are too and saying this can allow both of you to take a deep breath and realize you’re feeling the same thing. Goodluck on your date and just be human.
You already got the kissing part down, just relax! she likes you. You’re in good company. Do exactly what you did when you met her at the bar. You’re overthinking it.
I understand being nervous, for sure.
It can help to focus on just having a good time. Really, the goal is to enjoy the experience! Especially since she’ll be moving, the stakes are low, which is great.
A “date” is not about trying to massively impress someone with your suaveness or doing anything perfectly. There are no rules. If you treat her kindly and you ask for consent before getting physical with her, you’ve covered all the necessary bases. Beyond that, you can do whatever comes naturally to you in the moment. Asking her questions about herself is always a safe and thoughtful way to show interest if you start stressing about conversational topics. And if you’re feeling really nervous, you can totally say so! That’s intimacy, which is a great part of connecting with someone. It’s much more fun and comfortable to get to know a real person than a “perfect person.”
Also: in the utter worst case scenario, if the whole date somehow SUPER BOMBS??? Then you’ll have a fun story to tell for the rest of your life! So really, even that’s a great outcome.
I’m happy for you. Have fun 🙂
Very normal to feel nervous. I’ve been on many dates over the years and I still get nervous about it.
you’re gona do great!!
Good luck!!! Hopefully I can have mine soon as a 34f!
Just relax and be yourself. I know…easy to say…but really, simply enjoy talking and spending time with her. She’ll see that and she’ll relax too.
You’ll do great!! Have a few simple questions to ask if you find yourself feeling stumped or uncomfortable. Sometimes I find the second conversation can be a bit tricker because you’ve tackled some of the basics already. Suggesting a few but not sure what you covered in your first chat- where did she grow up? Siblings? Did they get along/are they close now? What does she do to unwind? Any summer travel plans coming up? Favorite movie or top 3. Does she like to cook or eat out more? You get the idea. These can help take you down interesting rabbit holes- obviously not interview style but helping you find a natural convo path.
ohhhh i hope you have fun!!!! I am in the same boat, so I am wishing you the best of luck!