I’ve never been in a relationship, unless you count the boyfriend in first grade, then maybe 1. In high school, I was told wait until you get to college. In college, it was wait until you get a little more older and established. Now people are saying it will happen when it happens.
I don’t think it’s happening folks.
I’ve just turned 37 and I’ve been hoping and “putting myself out there” for over twenty years and no dice. I’m honestly trying to be okay with never experiencing a romantic love or anything like that. It sucks, but like what else can I do?
I just wanted to share because I’ve been seeing a lot of people post about feeling the same, so it felt like a safe space.
16 comments
I feel it, OP. I’m 30F and I’ve never been in a long term relationship. I actually thought I was gonna be dating someone literally last week only for him to say he sees me as a friend. It’s so frustrating bc we’re told “it happens when you least expect it” but also “put yourself out there.” And neither has worked. Sadly the only time I feel like I’m not enough is when I’m dating around. So many guys love playing games anymore and act like we’re disposable. ANYWAYS that was my mini rant. I get what you mean. Sending you love and a big hug ❤️
I think you should try before you lose energy to date.
That was some terrible advice you got in college and maybe high school. School is like the one place where youre physically surrounded by a lot of different people of around the same age where its not frowned upon to have random interactions.
Its much harder afterwards since work place relationships can be tricky and you have to actually put yourself in social situations which can be awkward.
32 and same, it’s hard cause I know I’ll be okay single, I’ve managed to find a measure of joy with it, but not knowing what being in a relationship is like, missing my chance to be a BF/Husband/Father, that’s the part that stings.
I got into my first relationship last year at 32 and had my heart broken. I look back and wish I had never met him. I miss the person I was before I ever got into a relationship
Perhaps you need to make the first move?
What do you think is preventing you from meeting someone?
26 male over here. I feel you never been in one either. It really feels like an empty hellscape over here. The
They say don’t give into FOMO but at this point I am MO
I feel your pain OP! I being a 39M and feel I’ll forever be single. It doesn’t help that I’ve always been nerdy, shy and clam up whenever I’m around a woman I find attractive. 🤷
41M I can also relate. I have never been in a relationship and the older I get, the more. I resent being single. I had a couple “friend” girl friends that already had boyfriends but also enjoyed hanging out with me in school. Unfortunately, every girl I knew had a boyfriend, even some outside the school district. After graduation , I was spending my adult formative years in a job of all older men. While I became falsely comfortable as they seemed like great mentors, in hindsight I call this the lost years of my social life as I was missing out on interaction with people more my age that would’ve helped me build my social circle . I became more aware of this as I am now working with people my age, and now seeing my single status as a flaw. In the last few years, I have been trying out and continue to look for hobbies/ activities in hopes to promote more interaction and I’ve had some conversations. Maybe I’m missing something but it seems more difficult the older I get. Hopefully sometime I have luck before I get too old.
> I’ve never been in a relationship, unless you count the boyfriend in first grade, then maybe 1. In high school, I was told wait until you get to college. In college, it was wait until you get a little more older and established. Now people are saying it will happen when it happens. I don’t think it’s happening folks.
I’m 36 years old, and I am reckoning on this as well. I felt conflicted about what my expectations are as a mid-30yo man, considering that we are trying to find ourselves in this abstract world — fast, chaotic, and noisy. But relationships? That’s difficult to contemplate.
I’ve had platonic relationships when I was in highschool and college during those 20 years. Now? Your post found me in a way that others haven’t: societal expectations we were taught 30 years ago doesn’t translate into reality anymore.
Who told you not to date in college?
fuck a relationship bro, just enjoy your beautiful life and utmost freedom.
I definitely feel it. 36m. Dated once in Highschool, had some failed flings, and a current relationship where I’m really not feeling so loved. Frankly, I’m actually ok being alone, I’ve been that way most of my life.
Being alone isn’t the end of the world, you can still have a very fulfilling life. If you have family you’re close with, embrace them. Go out and enjoy life either solo or with friends. While there may be no s/o in your life you can still experience love and companionship from those already in your life and still be quite happy.
33 and similar. i tried dating last year, got catfished too because i didn’t enforce a video call (dude lived in my country so i felt a bit safer tbh, but yea when i met him, he was a completely diff person than the one on the pics).
i live in a small town as well, no places to go, nothing. so i did try several dating apps and i must say that aside from all the catfishing, hookups and so i can safely tell that even if i did have matches, people DO NOT take their time, put in effort to know the other person. i gave the chance to everyone in Bumble i matched with, wrote to them something or sent a gif, whatsoever and after 3 lines the conversations were dead.
so excuse me if i don’t wanna meet someone after just saying hi, that i wish to have a bit better foundation, like talking around a week or so, but seems it’s impossible like this. (especially that one needs to travel to meet considering my location.)
on the top of that, i feel i’d like one child. but how? this feels like kinda the saddest part for me that so many people who played a huge part in my past that made me end up very introverted and trusting hard are having families and living the life. feels cruel and unfair. but maybe i am just too dramatic. idk.
but i wish you all the best here honestly. everyone should experience love and to be loved.
i feel u bad