This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Lord save me from people who say they are busy when I propose a second date, and then don’t provide a specific option as an alternative. ‘Maybe next week?’ Yeah sure, do you want me to now ask, how about Monday, how about Tuesday, how about Wednesday, etc. etc.
I double texted the guy I really liked on a first date to agree for a second date that he also said wanted to have, after everyone here told me not to do it. Update tomorrow.
I met with this cool woman who seemed really into me from the start but I can’t help but feel a little intimidated and not worthy for her. Her last serious ex was a professional athlete in the major leagues; she has a master’s, travels to other countries many times a year, and probably makes three times as much as I do. Meanwhile, I’m in decent shape but not great, have a liberal arts degree, and I don’t have a steady job, forced to take contract work. Just feel like she may have fun with me but then she’ll realize that she can find a similar guy but more on her “level”.
I have 20 matches on Facebook dating in 2 weeks, only 2 has replied once and after that crickets…..
All my exs are in successful relationships and married and I can’t get a match. This shit whack bruh.
I had a ghost reappear on me. She ghosted me for the better part of 4 months after I asked if she wanted to go on a second date with me. She threw the ball back in my court after sending an apology last Monday and asked if the second date was still standing (lmao, what???).
I’m gonna take my time to process the apology, and honestly? the ghost kinda deserves silence as a response in the meantime or indefinitely.
The timing is interesting, I don’t post much on FB, but I posted a video of a gym progress pic and a video of me benching 225 last Sunday. She then sends the apology on Monday (we are FB friends still for whatever reason, my gut tells me she saw the pic).
I get it, I used to be fat and ugly, and now the transformation in the gym is bringing attention my way. I still have feelings no matter how much muscle I stack on.
It’s a bank holiday weekend, ridiculously warm and sunny and I had a good first date today. Will take the small wins where I can
Well, it happened. Was seeing each other for 4 months. Things got serious over time. Started slowly but gradually ramped up to 100%, we were all in, it was really nice and a safety I had never felt before with someone. He was very consistent and made a great effort, I never saw any red flags no matter how hard I looked for them. We were exclusive of course and were about to make it official. Then, out of nowhere, he told me he actually found someone else he likes more. Even though THAT SAME DAY he randomly told me he needs me in his life so badly and he’s so excited to see me, he can’t wait any longer. An hour later, “there’s someone else.” Not even an “you’re so amazing” etc etc. Literally just I found someone better and it’s not fair to them to keep going with you. Like what the fuck. Also we were supposed to be exclusive?? And now, we both are blocked on everything, and suddenly, he’s not in my life anymore. I’m just left alone and confused and hurt, trying to accept that so much of my time and energy and love were wasted. I was used and manipulated. And while I’m an idiot – got my hair done, new dress, was looking my best, on my way to go see him when I got that text – he’s not missing me or sad or hurting at all. He’s perfectly happy with someone “better.” Thats what makes me feel even worse.
I shouldn’t be devastated but I am. This is the 3rd time this has happened to me in the past year. Except with the last few, we weren’t serious, so it didn’t really hurt when they told me they found someone better. I was also seeing other people since it was still early and we weren’t exclusive, so I understood.
I don’t know how I can ever trust people again after this.
I just saw that a content creator on TikTok and Instagram made a reel about [**this post** ](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1tgiyv8/am_i_overreacting_by_his_response_after_a_first/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)from the subreddit.
I obviously realise that everything on Reddit is public but it kind of makes me not want to post on here anymore if content creators are lurking on here and using our posts to create content on different mediums.
I hope they at least got the OP’s consent to make content about their experience.
Found out through the grapevine that some old friends of mine got married last week. I’m happy for them.
Two other friends of mine have bought a house together last week.
It’s crazy how everyone is on such different timelines.
Soliciting votes. Someone I’m dating, who I’m exclusive with, sent me a slightly provocative selfie of him pouting and wearing a sailor’s hat, which I thought was meant for me only… until he posted it on his Instagram (private). I am feeling icked out and really uncomfortable because I made a sexy joke back when I got his selfie and I really thought it was for my eyes only. We’ve had some intense discussions around his Instagram use, as I’ve discovered that he interacts a lot with other girls (liking their pics etc) and has what I think are slightly inappropriate friendships with them. Am I overreacting, Reddit?!
Praying this is my last single summer ever
Is there a significant amount of single women that just don’t use any apps?
Hey everyone. Can you help me about a date I’ve gone on recently?
Went on a date two days ago. Third date in nearly 2 years so I don’t know wth I’m doing.
This guy asked me out very quickly on Bumble and I thought WHY NOT!
The date was planned 3 days in advance and we didn’t carry on having a conversation once it was planned. Fast forward the day of neither of us confirmed the date (I didn’t feel the need to but now I look back maybe I have). The date was slated for 8:30. I showed up at 27 and sat down. I texted him at 37 to inform him I was in the corner. When he didn’t show up at 40 I left.
I decided to walk back to the train. I wasn’t insulted but shocked since it was my first time. At 45 he texted saying he was running late and apologised. At 50 he said he went and I wasn’t there, he understood and he offered to call me a cab home.
I decided to extend an olive branch and told him he could meet me where I am. He said he’d love to. So we meet up and go somewhere. We chatted until the bar closed. I thought the conversation was great though I’m a bit awkward and maybe too quirky but he seemed to like it.
He asked me before the end of the date what I was doing this weekend. I said nothing and asked if he’d like to do something. He said yes. We exchanged numbers and he called me a cab.
He texted me again that night thanking me for the lovely evening and then “Any time! Let’s do something this weekend if you’re up for it.”
I told him “yeah let me know what you want to do.”
Then wished him sweet dreams. He said he would.
We didn’t talk the entirety of the rest of the next day.
Since I hadn’t heard from him I planned an excursion on Sunday. On Saturday morning I texted him the following, “Hey BLANK. It’s BLANK. So. l’ve
decided to go BLANK tomorrow to visit my
FRIEND. I’m not sure if you wanted to do something still but thought I’d let you know just in case anyway.”
I haven’t heard from him. I wasn’t thinking about this response until it turns out I haven’t heard from him all day. I asked a couple of friends if the message sounded weird and they said it sounds like I’m trying to get out of hanging out with him. That wasn’t my intention at all I just thought I’d let him know that I planned something and since I hadn’t heard from him, I just assumed he wasn’t interested.
I could use the outlook of people who aren’t involved or know me. Please let me know what you think and how I should move forward, if at all.
Follow up day 3, the guy I gave my number to on a piece of paper… nothing yet 🫠
Hi everyone, I need a bit of advice, so I have been seeing a guy for 6months last weekend I started to push for answer from him about where there was going, are we exclusive, etc with zero direct response from him. He also never wants to make plans with me. I have plans with him next Saturday, that I had to basically force him into.
In the meantime an old friend who is newly single got in touch and asked me out for a date. Well today I went for a date with the second guy (we only held hands), who seemed pretty into me and has asked me out again for next Saturday. I had a wonderful time today him and he seems much more my speed mentally.
For context I know both of these guys for 4 years each.
My problem is, how do I end things with guy 1 so that I can start go with guy 2?
All advice is much appreciated 🙂.
He keeps sending nudes and makes sexual innuendo, but has not tried to set a second date despite my clearly stating interest, over a week later. What a weird situation, have never had a dude do that before. People are weird.
I haven’t been in a truly long, serious relationship yet, and I feel like I’m still just fucking around, and don’t know what I want.
It’s hard to communicate because of my own confusion about what I want. I’ve been with a guy for 5 months now, and yesterday I firat heard a friend of his refer to me as this guy’s girlfriend and then he looked at me for confirmation, and I honestly just shrugged my shoulders. I like this guy, but he parties too often and too hard for my liking. I feel a great mismatch of intimacy, like I don’t think we discussed anything deeper or future-related since the first couple of our dates. Yesterday’s party also was just sprung on me, I went over thinking we would figure out something to do and there were already people there and others on the way. I had no idea this was happening.
It’s hard to decide to move on, because he’s a genuinely funny and caring guy, but long-term alignment might not be there, because of this party guy persona. I don’t know if it’s something he’s ready to give up, but I am beyond my party days, it basically takes me a full day to recover from one heavy drinking night.
I don’t know if I believe the “you’ll know it when you find it” thing, I’m scared to waste time and effort into things I shouldn’t.
I’m not sure how to “fix” this or if there’s even anything to fix.
Another positive update from the “second chance at a date due to kind acts” world – had a crazy long work day yesterday, was going to just go home when a friend texted “hey are you coming out to this show? She’s here alone!” so I threw on a button-up I’d left in my car and headed over. Spent the whole evening hanging, chatted more after the show, kissed, tentatively seeing each other on Monday.
Not a bad way to end a long day.
Saw the title of a book about BPD that was ‘I hate you – don’t leave me’ and damn if that didn’t take me back down memory lane some toxic relationships I’ve been in.
direct correlation to men who talk about having great bedroom skills/assets and not having them. haha
what’s up with men asserting that they want to be stay-at-home-parents? is this a new thing or these are the oddball leftovers that no one else wanted to date (and i ended up talking to)
do women do this before meeting and/or within first few dates?
Advice needed: a couple of months ago l was talking to/went on a couple of dates with a mutual friend. Eventually she let me know she wasn’t ready for a relationship and just wanted to stay friends for now. I said ok, because I think she is a great person anyways and can always use another friend at my age (we are both 40.) For a while we were still talking regularly and hung out a couple of times, strictly platonically. I have not heard from her in the last two weeks. I realize part of it is she’s busy with work and family stuff. I was just wondering what a good way to reach out platonically, without it feeling like I’m trying to attempt something romantic, or just being the annoying clueless guy saying “hey how are you?” over and over. Or do I just leave her alone and hope she still wants to be friends?
I feel that there are so many people that are single, but why is it so hard to find one woman to love.
Some friends and I decided to hang out. In the end, we’ve been sitting in the backyard lazing in the sunny weather. 10/10.
I hope you all get some time to rest and enjoy yourself soon.
It should not be this hard. I’m exhausted. I haven’t been in a relationship for 4 years and have only been on a handful of uninspiring dates since then. Dating apps are deserts and it definitely wasn’t that way a few years ago. It’s really hard not to look back and regret choices I made in college, who I chose to date, etc, when dating is what it is now.