As someone who has been both skinny and muscular I’ve never noticed any difference in the amount of attention or ease of dating after gaining muscle. Unless you are extremely malnourished it won’t help much. Most women just date guys in their social circle that they get along with. They don’t even notice or pay attention to buff dudes.
No guy struggles to date because of lack of muscle. Plus whatever is causing him to struggle will still be there after getting jacked. You are better off finding a good friend group/social circle or going to therapy.
38 comments
So ur telling me I gotta get a social circle
Personality matters more than muscle, once the bar of basic care and hygiene is met.
It’s not the amount or shape of muscles that matters, it’s how you use your head that commands them. It’s pretty easy to tell when a guy is trying to get attention because of the muscles vs a guy who just genuinely likes to work out and doesn’t use muscles as a forefront of his personality.
I always thought muscles were more about discipline, than the physical appearance aspect. If you have muscles, it shows that you can set goals and reach those goals.
i mean it depends. some women like jacked guys, some don’t, some are indifferent. yeah if you go to the gym, gain muscle, and think that women are going to be swarming you then you’re going to be disappointed. if anything you’ll get more attention from guys than girls lol. but you definitely might see a lil more interest than you would if you didn’t get it.
you should go to the gym for yourself anyway. get in shape, gain confidence, etc.
You couldn’t be MORE TRUE. I think being fit or healthy looking matters a lot more than being buff or super jacked.
I don’t really think this is true.
I don’t think getting ripped like Arnie is going to help you in dating. But I think having enough to show you work out and that you are strong is going to have a positive effect. I’ve got a friend with noticeably big arms and it gets noticed a lot when we are in bars.
Most women want a guy that looks strong enough to carry her and her not having to starve herself so he can do that. Think baseball player, not the hulk and not pee wee herman
For women attraction is multi layered- appearance, personality, fun to be around/good conversations, life ambition, and romance/ how desirable he makes her feel. Everyone prioritizes which of these traits is most important but usually a balance.
There are absolutely some women who have a type and you’re not getting the date unless you’re a gym rat. But like all others who are so restrictive to a “type”, it’s a small minority and not worth a lifestyle change just to impress that group. You’re far better off being comfortable in your skin
Well that can be said about anything because no single factor exists in a vacuum when people assess dating value
If you have 2 men with the exact same everything: having additional muscle mass will always help
No one said having muscle is a one way ticket to more dates
As long as u don’t look obese or malnourished women will date u if u are clean & have a good personality & this is the truth, crazy to fathom for men since y’all only go for looks.
After I got muscles women were crazy for me. Getting free hugs wherever I go, women are racing for me. I never felt so different. I walk by the cafe and women discussing where I live and I often come to that cafe. I am like I can hear you.
But trust me muscles are good only at a certain level. Once you cross that and look like a bulldozer then women dont like you. Most guys take medicines and then they get
I think there’s very little benefit (from the dating perspective) between being in shape and healthy to being jacked. But there’s definitely a big difference between being unhealthy and out of shape and being in shape and almost everyone I know who went on that journey has said so.
I think that muscle is a reason to be intrigued, but not a reason to date someone.
But everyone has their own preferences, I even know people who find muscle unattractive.
Facial expression is more important than muscles. + Social skills, social circle etc
Only young girls ~20 go for such big muscle guys, after a certain age other things become more important
We have been trying to tell y’all that hygiene and personality are more important but you only listened to other guys.
I like super skinny guys with a pretty face that LIVE NEAR ME, don’t smoke or have kids at home. There are almost none of those in my stack.
Yeah everyone has a type. Some people like muscular guys others don’t. I’ve seen pretty girls be with really chubby guys and also muscular guys.
Delusional title. Both men and women prefer fit bodies.
Men notice muscles on other men more than women do.
I went from 250lb -> 150lb -> 180lb (lean bulk, mostly muscle). Both of those steps made a huge improvement in the way people treat.
The key to working out is doing it for yourself
Yah bullshit guy lmfao I got way more attention from women when I put on mass. It gets your foot in the door so to speak. The rest you do need to be smart about. You know why muscle grabs attention? Because discipline is sexy, to both men and women.
Actually, I tend to avoid “jacked” guys unless I’m just lonely and looking for a hookup. Jacked men tend to be self absorbed, self centered, and high maintenance in terms of a relationship. Bottom line, they are way to much work compared to the average guy.
The only comparison (as a disadvantage) is to get fat vs being skinny or muscular. There are niche people into hefty folks, but skinny vs muscular is like apples versus oranges when skinny or muscular is like either versus asparagus.
You and I have had completely different experiences then
It makes a huge difference unless youre being too obvious that you’re fishing for attention.
Muscle doesn’t make the dating itself easier, but a year of consistent training changes which version of you walks into the room. The confidence delta shows up in posture, eye contact, and what you’re willing to ask for out loud. That part shows up on dates whether or not anyone consciously notices the muscle underneath it.
It does if it impacts your own confidence but in my experience, most people don’t have a built in “muscle threshold” for dating.
It helps. It gets commented on by every woman I’m with- often on the first date.
I’m not saying it would be a struggle otherwise, but it is definitely noticed.
I believe it contributes to some women moving quite fast to get me into a situation where she can see more. I am also in a weird 50-plus demographic. Most men have let themselves go by now.
To the OP- big difference when skinny vs muscular – both on the healthy side of the spectrum. Try comparing obese to muscular— and see how that goes.
I feel more confident when I have a flat tummy and wide shoulders. My posture improves from compound lifts and I don’t get out of breath due to my cardio.
All in all I’d say my fitness is more about me feeling good in my own skin than trying to impress someone.
yea you might need a personality
As a woman, it’s clear that the men who obsessed over muscles are only listening to what other men are telling them about women’s desires. I don’t know why they don’t ask women themselves. We don’t generally see men as objects, so yeah, muscles are not as important as emotional maturity and interesting personalities
I think muscles will get attention and a confidence boost. That being said if you didn’t know how to talk to women before. Muscles are not going to fix that problem lol.
Women don’t. Men? Boy oh boy
A fit and healthy body is attractive but there’s a whole range of that.
Some prefer leaner, some toned and others like a bit of a tummy
I read it somewhere “Girls fall in love when they listen, boys fall in love when they see”.
When I lost 100 lbs, I gained a lot of confidence, and started dating the way most people do in their teens and early 20s – but I was already nearly in my 30s.
A combination of the confidence and improved physique definitely helped. Muscles definitely gave me some lusting-after qualities that I’ve noticed in women. Before the weight loss I really felt like I was ignored, but after the weight loss and improved physique I definitely noticed a lot of “eye fucking” going on.
Muscles arent needed for dating – but for some women, it helps a lot.
Thank goodness someone from the other side is starting to say this. All those things you guys tell each other we’re after, are either shallow, fake, high maintenance women, or what another guy wants. I have never looked for muscle in a guy. In fact, I can’t stand guys who think going to the gym. Most or every day is healthy. I vomit in my mouth.
Just respect us, treat us as equals. Be polite. It’s not hard. The bar is exceptionally low.