Men: How does your health compare to your SO’s? How do you navigate the difference?
May 6, 2026
Like the question says, are you and your SO on even ground when it comes to personal health? If not, how do you navigate the potential pitfalls and challenges?
16 comments
We don’t, really. I’m heavier than my wife and we just try to eat healthier, encourage to go for walks. She’s some health conditions and has to go to hospital every other months for an infusion so I take kids to stuff on a thursday solo. Otherwise nothing.
We’ve been taking turns over the last 8 years on one of us having a serious medical issue. We get a 6 month break then something else comes up. It’s draining but it is what it is
She is a type 2 diabetic, and so am I.
She weighs pretty much the same as when we met-115. I’m at 190, down from 245. But should probably be at 165 or so.
That’s pretty much it for her.
I have metal from the top of my head down to my replaced right knee (as well as neck and back stabilization). But I’ve finally, mostly, gotten in control over the chronic pain I’ve dealt with for the last 30 years.
And I have Multiple myeloma. In remission after a stem cell transplant 2 years ago.
So I win, I guess?
so far it’s pretty even… But since she is 11 years younger I fully expect that she will end up wiping drool off my face and wiping my ass when I get dementia.
No we’re not on even ground. Doubt we ever will be, sadly. I cant change it, but I’ll occasionally remind her that she’s likely gonna have some serious health problems and die too early like her dad did.
We both have different but fairly significant health issues. I have heart problems, she has an autoimmune disease that requires monthly treatments. We are both working to lose weight. The weight is really the least of our worries.
Our individual issues are mostly maintained on our own. She has some foods that need to be avoided. I’m diabetic, I mostly just try to avoid Oreos… We’ve been eating with weightloss and health in mind, so its not really that bad.
There are some new meds we help eachother out with. She likes to stab me. I help her stay on a routine.
Overall it’s not really difficult. I love her so I make sure her requirements are met, then work around them for myself and her son.
My ex-wife had terrible migraines all the time and was bipolar. It was a challenge for sure. But mainly I tried to be there to help her when she needed me, and leave her alone when she asked me to. Not everyone likes being coddled when they are ill. Me personally? I wanna be left the hell alone to suffer in solitude. Just how I am.
So talk to your partner about their health struggles and just figure out how you can best help them. Whether thats making chicken soup, reminding her/him to take their meds, holding their hand, or bailing the fuck out and leaving them in peace. As with all things in relationships, it boils down to effective compassionate communication.
I think we are both waiting to see who kicks first.
Well, I’ve had kidney disease(PKD) for almost 30 years, did 3.5 years on dialysis and just got a transplant 8 weeks ago. She has been by my side the entire time. She’s comforted me, taken me to every appointment and run the house. My wife has been unconditionally supportive.
She has been in generally good health with a couple issues over the years. Nothing like mine, but I’ve been there too.
I don’t even understand what you mean by navigate. She is there for me and I am there for her, no matter what.
“I, , take thee, , to be my wedded wife (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
We’ve been married almost 34 years.
My wife is trying to catch up, but her daily schedule is a lot more strict than mine is. But she is definitely making progress.
I get it free, she gets it through work. Idk how insurance even works tbh all I know is I pay them and bad things don’t hurt as bad 😂
AFAIK, we are. We are both in good health. We do our best to live a healthy lifestyle.
I’m hygienic, but I think I may be half dead. I’m in the US so I can’t afford to find out
My shoulder hurts, and his hurts intermittently. His is from work, mine is because that arm just, kinda slips out the socket sometimes?
Hes definitely leaner than me, his job is physical and mines a desk job.
But he eats more processed food where as I cook all mine from scratch.
Mines significantly better. I see it as a gift that I have the ability to take care of her when she needs me.
I’m much healthier. She has chronic illnesses (tick-borne diseases) and has gained a lot of weight from mental health issues / sedentary work, now she’s dealing with perimenopause and other issues.
Sometimes I think she resents that I have it so much easier, but she tries to keep it to herself.
I like taking care of her when she allows it. I’ve had to seriously adjust my expectations for a relationship, and she’s had to seriously adjust her expectations for life (she prefers being active, being outside, etc). We’re muddling through.
16 comments
We don’t, really. I’m heavier than my wife and we just try to eat healthier, encourage to go for walks. She’s some health conditions and has to go to hospital every other months for an infusion so I take kids to stuff on a thursday solo. Otherwise nothing.
We’ve been taking turns over the last 8 years on one of us having a serious medical issue. We get a 6 month break then something else comes up. It’s draining but it is what it is
She is a type 2 diabetic, and so am I.
She weighs pretty much the same as when we met-115. I’m at 190, down from 245. But should probably be at 165 or so.
That’s pretty much it for her.
I have metal from the top of my head down to my replaced right knee (as well as neck and back stabilization). But I’ve finally, mostly, gotten in control over the chronic pain I’ve dealt with for the last 30 years.
And I have Multiple myeloma. In remission after a stem cell transplant 2 years ago.
So I win, I guess?
so far it’s pretty even… But since she is 11 years younger I fully expect that she will end up wiping drool off my face and wiping my ass when I get dementia.
No we’re not on even ground. Doubt we ever will be, sadly. I cant change it, but I’ll occasionally remind her that she’s likely gonna have some serious health problems and die too early like her dad did.
We both have different but fairly significant health issues. I have heart problems, she has an autoimmune disease that requires monthly treatments. We are both working to lose weight. The weight is really the least of our worries.
Our individual issues are mostly maintained on our own. She has some foods that need to be avoided. I’m diabetic, I mostly just try to avoid Oreos… We’ve been eating with weightloss and health in mind, so its not really that bad.
There are some new meds we help eachother out with. She likes to stab me. I help her stay on a routine.
Overall it’s not really difficult. I love her so I make sure her requirements are met, then work around them for myself and her son.
My ex-wife had terrible migraines all the time and was bipolar. It was a challenge for sure. But mainly I tried to be there to help her when she needed me, and leave her alone when she asked me to. Not everyone likes being coddled when they are ill. Me personally? I wanna be left the hell alone to suffer in solitude. Just how I am.
So talk to your partner about their health struggles and just figure out how you can best help them. Whether thats making chicken soup, reminding her/him to take their meds, holding their hand, or bailing the fuck out and leaving them in peace. As with all things in relationships, it boils down to effective compassionate communication.
I think we are both waiting to see who kicks first.
Well, I’ve had kidney disease(PKD) for almost 30 years, did 3.5 years on dialysis and just got a transplant 8 weeks ago. She has been by my side the entire time. She’s comforted me, taken me to every appointment and run the house. My wife has been unconditionally supportive.
She has been in generally good health with a couple issues over the years. Nothing like mine, but I’ve been there too.
I don’t even understand what you mean by navigate. She is there for me and I am there for her, no matter what.
“I, , take thee, , to be my wedded wife (husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
We’ve been married almost 34 years.
My wife is trying to catch up, but her daily schedule is a lot more strict than mine is. But she is definitely making progress.
I get it free, she gets it through work. Idk how insurance even works tbh all I know is I pay them and bad things don’t hurt as bad 😂
AFAIK, we are. We are both in good health. We do our best to live a healthy lifestyle.
I’m hygienic, but I think I may be half dead. I’m in the US so I can’t afford to find out
My shoulder hurts, and his hurts intermittently. His is from work, mine is because that arm just, kinda slips out the socket sometimes?
Hes definitely leaner than me, his job is physical and mines a desk job.
But he eats more processed food where as I cook all mine from scratch.
Mines significantly better. I see it as a gift that I have the ability to take care of her when she needs me.
I’m much healthier. She has chronic illnesses (tick-borne diseases) and has gained a lot of weight from mental health issues / sedentary work, now she’s dealing with perimenopause and other issues.
Sometimes I think she resents that I have it so much easier, but she tries to keep it to herself.
I like taking care of her when she allows it. I’ve had to seriously adjust my expectations for a relationship, and she’s had to seriously adjust her expectations for life (she prefers being active, being outside, etc). We’re muddling through.