Women who were the “chubby” girl or the “ugly” girl in school and their mothers were “hot” in their childhood, how did that affect you?
May 19, 2026
Women who were the “chubby” girl or the “ugly” girl in school and their mothers were “hot” in their childhood, how did that affect you?
43 comments
I eventually also got hot, it was fine.
Hated that my mom would judge me so hard
I swear she was my number 1 hater
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I ended up with an ED
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It wasn’t great, especially seeing the boys I liked drooling over her (wearing tight, revealing clothes and everything) while they’d look at me disgusted. It has messed up my brain. I think that’s why I had major issues with femininity for a long time. I associated it with her vanity.
My mom was a cheerleader and also voted into office (class vice president I think?) because she was beautiful.
I came into the world chubby. She tried to give me slim fast at age 4. I threw it back up on her. Oops.
She still has a very complicated relationship with food and her weight. I have a head full of offhand bummer comments she made to me over the years. Like the time a cute boy blushed and smiled at me around age 13 – “imagine if your body matched your face…”
All in all, not super great. I do know she didn’t mean to perpetuate that toxic stuff on purpose? Anyway, these things are what therapy is for!
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My mom was the hot girl who didn’t know she was hot but my aunt was the hot girl who knew she was hot, we all lived together. I was chubby until I was like 17/18 and then my aunt started talking to me on her own and my mom was super insecure around me. Wildly confusing
My mother was my worst bully. In a way, this made the other bullying I endured less severe since, after all, everything I ever got from them I got from my mother ten times worse and all before the age of five.
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My mother would constantly tell me how she was a size 2 untill she had me and my siblings then a size 4 afterwards. I have a memory of asking her if im pretty and what is pretty about me. Im probably 7 at this time.She made a face before answering I guess your hair is pretty. Mind you all through elementary I had crooked bangs and chopped ends because she couldnt take the time to trim them evenly. I never felt pretty and have anxiety issues as a adult.
I still have very limited confidence, and struggle to think I’m good looking.
My mum started putting me on diets when I was five and always compared me to skinnier, cuter girls. I was diagnosed with body dysmorphia at 19.
I still get called ‘Big Ash’ by my high-school-cheerleader-queen mum. I’m 31.
I have such severe body dysmorphia that despite losing 100lbs so far, I feel like I take up more space than ever. Yeah, I’m big, but my dad is a 6’6 giant and I’m built like a linebacker like him. Absolute freight train (strong af, rugby’s fun). I was never going to be the petite popular girl my mum wanted, but it didn’t stop her from belittling me at every chance. My siblings followed along because mum knows best. Doesn’t help that I was the unplanned ‘Buy one Get one’ twin from the start lol.
Doing better now! I traipse around the world with my DINK husband and spoil the nieces and nephews whenever I want.
As you can see, it sticks with you, and I haven’t found the combination of therapy and acceptance that gets rid of it yet.
She wasn’t hot in my childhood but hotter when she was young/my age. She never failed to remind me how skinny she was, how often she got hit on, how everyone loved her. If I had an achievement, she would ignore then talk about her achievements.
It made me feel small and insignificant unfortunately. At 30, it’s still something I deal with. My therapist told me when you have a parent like that, it makes you feel unworthy. She never said things in an aggressive way, so I never thought there was an actual problem. I never really knew where my perfectionist tendencies came from because it wasn’t like I was being reprimanded. It was more like I was being ignored. I didn’t realize this until therapy.
When people compliment me now I feel like they can’t possibly be telling the truth and it’s really hard for me to believe in what they are saying.
Ah my sister and I were just talking about our shared childhood trauma. I think it was typical almond mom behavior. I think my sister and I are fairly conventionally attractive, but not slim and that kills my mom. Years of little comments about how we need to be careful if we don’t lose it now we never will yada yada
We finally both had to set boundaries with her because she started that shit with our kids. Nobody’s telling my Asian children that rice is bad for them because carbs
My mom was super patronising in the name of encouraging me and my awkward acne-faced, pear-shaped, crooked (braces-needing) toothed, bushy-haired, large-septally-deviated snoring-nosed teenage self.
She herself was in amazing shape with smooth soft skin, straight white teeth, pretty silky hair and straight af Roman nose. She would routinely get compliments that she looks like my older sister. It burned. I felt like she withheld the genes from me out of pure selfishness. She also kept telling me my cystic scarring acne was just “teenage hormones” and refused most medical intervention for it. (Antibiotics etc).
Eventually I turned out okay but I do still have my dad’s septally deviated nose, and after a brush with othorexia in college, I’ve been working on my acne scars for 2 decades now. Can’t say I don’t still struggle with some body dysmorphia.
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I’m really funny now and deflect compliments. Also I can’t have grapefruit.
my mom was such a hater. Always talked about how skinny she was and how talented she was as a gymnast – I begged from a young age to also get into gymnastics, but she was too lazy to sign me up or drive me. Watching her shows on the TV was always more important. Now she’s overweight and has self image issues. I’m still thicc and insecure but I thank my giant thighs ever day for supporting me more than she ever did <3
My mom had been really beautiful in her youth, and wanted that sooo badly for me. I can tell she really thought she was doing right by me trying to give me pretty privilege, but unfortunately all she did was make me feel hideous and stressed with constant comments and outsized worry about my weight. Even when I was at my peak prettiness in my early 20s (still on the curvy side but had lost some weight at my hot climate college) I still thought I was disgusting and ended up accepting a truly mediocre boyfriend who brought me way down in life and wasted most of my 20s. I wish I’d felt some confidence to match my actual looks which really were not too shabby. I could’ve enjoyed single life and held out for a truly great partner.
To be fair I’m not exactly sure how best to help if I had a child with obesity and actual health concerns from it, (my pediatrician was never concerned), but I would sure as hell not say some of the ridiculously painful things she did.
I was definitely “ugly” in my childhood years, and my mom was absolutely beautiful. I found out later that she was so beautiful that one of her closest friends tried (unsuccessfully) starting an affair with my dad as a way to one-up her. Go figure.
I’m sad to read all these terrible experiences. My mom was nothing but supportive and loving throughout childhood. She never mentioned anything negative about our appearances. I felt insecure about my own looks, but that happened because of other reasons. I wished I could’ve looked like her, but that was more because she was just plainly gorgeous lol.
It fucking sucked.
It messed with my head a lot. I felt like I was the ugly duckling of the family and I compared myself to her constantly. It made me super insecure about my body until I grew into it.
Holy crap. Ok for context my mother was very kind. Never judged me. Never asked me to be different. Same woth my sister
But it didn’t matter. I looked different from them and i knew it. The strange psrt was is i didn’t know how i figured out they were what i wanted to look like. I guess tv or magazines. Anyway. I remember the exact day i noticed i didn’t look like my mom and sister. I was like 8 and it involved my sister and i changing infront of a body mirror.
Okay so to answer your question. It made me hate myself for a very long time. Eventually i went in a diet in middle school. I was very successful and dropped like 40 pounds. Sadly this deflated my developing boobs. Now my boobs sag and i hate them.
So going forward i still have sever body issues. After i lost the weight my greatest fear was gaining it back. I developed anorexia and bulimia in hs. I was skin and bones and i lost my period all of freshman year.
I dont really know what happened next. I was able to keep my weight to a reasonable level rven though i was genuinely starving all the time. I got a bf and he was amazing. He loved me how i was and never was upset if i gained weight. I think that helped me a lot. What truly cured me was going to college.
My high school was small and all the girls i was friends with were small my mom was small and my sister and all my cousins and aunts. I was small as well at this point but i always still felt bigger and less attractive. I lived in Colorado. I went to college in kansas and my whole world transformed around me.
As many of you might know Colorado is the thinnest state. When i went to kansas i was genuinely smaller than most people at my school. And i went to a HUGE college. Iafter four years being there i simple realized im actually a very average looking person. And my relationship with food healed. My relationship with my body healed. I genuinely don’t think im fat or ugly at all. I mean im not a stick figure and im not a super model. Im just an average normal looking person that never gets a second glance in a good or bad way. Im just out her livin man.
Anyway. I do like it when im a few pounds less. Recently i got salmonella and lost like 20 pounds. Now everyone is complimenting me and saying how skinny anf good i look. I HATE IT. because first of all. I didn’t do anything. I was just sick for a month. Second of all. Apparently im GORGEOUS now and wasn’t before. I actually wish everyone would just shut up about weight and never talk about it.
So my mom is still a stick figure but as me and my sister aged we actually evened out. Im definitely just a bigger person than she is. But fat content wise i think were pretty similar. The weight actually looks good on her which also makes me feel better.
Ok rant over
I don’t know if my mom was considered “hot,” but she was thin and pretty enough. She made it super clear to me the moment I started gaining weight during puberty that my body was NOT OKAY. I was put on diets all through adolescence. She screamed in my face that I was obese. She told me I was desperate for male attention. She told me I don’t have any friends. So many mean things that still echo in my head decades later!
From what I could gather at the time, it was all about how people would perceive HER if they saw she had an overweight child. I realized later that it’s always been about that. Needless to say, I am VLC with her these days.
It really sucks :/ To this day I hate that people
say that she’s my sister or that she looks younger than me. Her body type too if very very beautiful and i’m just there hating my body cause she flaunts it off, “look at my boobs don’t you wish you had mine” like chill dude I already wanna kms
My mother’s also-skinny, also-superficial friends dropped her because she had a fat kid. She no longer met their criteria for friendship, so because of me she had no friends.
She made sure I knew what a horrible disappointment i was and how no one would ever love me. It got worse and worse and crueler and crueler up until she died.
She was wrong. And she had fake friends.
Well first I will tell my sisters story.
Mom was conventionally pretty. Slim.
My older sister was *beautiful* and my dad was a pedo and started going after her, so my mom did *everything* she could to make my sister look ugly because she decided she was in competion with her 9 year old daughter for her husband’s attention. 🤮🤮🤮
Horrible haircuts. Feeding her tons of fatty food, then always buying her ugly and too tight clothes so every bulge would show. The ugliest glasses.
My sister was *beautiful* and my mom tried to make her *ugly*. My sister always saw herself as ugly. But man, she could turn heads when she moved out of the house!
Now I was actually lucky because I was born ugly. I really was an ugly kid. Which was *great* because dad ignored me and so mom did too. Yeah, she made snide comments, but I just didn’t care. I did “glow up” a bit as a 17 year old, but by then I was out of the house. I saw beauty as a curse, not a gift. And as an adult I always felt people gave me credibility as a professional for being…IDK, neither ugly nor beautiful, just “average”. Competent. Which I think is lucky because I never got unwanted attention and I wasn’t discriminated against for being ugly.
Later in life I realized that I was not the only person whose mother intentionally tried to make them look unattractive, ie. giving me horrific haircuts that made everyone ask if I was a boy (which my mom thought was hilarious)
My mom made it very clear I was chubby. She would make and still does, jabs and comments. Things that seem innocent to an outsider, but I know what she really means. Its extremely annoying and still irrates me
Oh man, my time to shine! My mom had me super young and was essentially a size 2 all of my adolescence. I was a chubby kid, I’m still chubby now as an adult. She would only really keep slim fast and diet meals in the house, she put me in a number of pageants and stopped when it was clear I couldn’t just “lose weight” despite her forcing intense diet and exercise on me. She bragged about being able to wear one of my dance leotards from when I was 8 as a woman in her 20s. She’s gotten a little bit bigger now, I’m still chubby, but I’d call myself decent looking. I fought with an eating disorder for years, she’s miserable about her looks and wants all kinds of surgery. On the other hand, I’ve done a lot of internal work and I’m not always happy with my body, but I do think that I’m pretty and that’s enough for me.
Oh wow, we’re reopening the trauma huh? I was the chubby girl. I have 2 stick thin model sisters that were always told how beautiful they are. I was the kid that was given skim milk and never allowed seconds. I’m thin now and have issues with food. But my mother was always attractive and still is now. She had the big fake tits, nice legs. Everyone loved to tell me how beautiful and hot she is.
It wasn’t until I grew up and saw how her own mother treats her and is about food that I learned my mother was just mirroring how she was raised. My grandma literally said to my mother when she visited last, “it looks like you’ve put on weight” and maybe I’m biased, but she’s in her 60s and she’s hot af, she looks like she’s in her late 40s still. Fit, strong, die hard keto and not a bit of fat on her.
I’ve had to see therapists and dieticians to try and deal with my food and body issues. But nothing truly fixes being raised in an environment like that.
Everyone wanted to fuck my mom. *Everyone*.
I had a friend in high school who would come over after soccer practice and shower at my house, but he only ever did it when I was at my mom’s place. I always thought it was a funny little quirk of his, then we caught up briefly in college and he admitted that he would not only leave the door unlocked but also have it cracked open in the hopes that my mom would come into the bathroom and fuck him.
It took a few years of therapy to realize that some friends I only had because they were trying to get at my mom. Gross.
My mom and I are best friends now, but I had so much conflict with her growing up. We just fought all the time about such stupid things. She’d follow me around fixing my bra straps and trying to convince me to shop for something presentable in Lane Bryant or whatever. And she just legitimately didn’t get how demeaning and embarrassing it was at that age trying to put any effort into my appearance when my peers literally described any effort I made as putting lipstick on a pig. Growing up everybody told me that I was just like my dad. He never understood why my mom gave me so much crap about my appearance. I was convinced I was going to grow up to be an engineer and no one would care if I looked like garbage because I am smart and funny.
And it took me until adulthood, getting paid a third percentile salary at my software job, before I realized that no one would ever see me like they saw my dad. That was never an option to me. And the answer wasn’t to curl my hair and wear more cardigans like my mom wanted. She didn’t really get it either. But she understood what I was facing in adult life in a way that nobody else really did. I remember watching the movie Brave in theatres, sobbing for half an hour, and immediately calling my mom. She still hasn’t seen it to this day, because she doesn’t really like animated movies. But we hang out almost every weekend. We have more in common than I thought we did.
Damn I love this question. It’s not talked about enough.
Well, she criticized me. Called me ugly. I never felt like I was pretty enough, she never called me pretty.
At my late teens, it all started to change when I joined beauty pageants. She eventually found me pretty, maybe due to halo effect, but the core wound is still something I carry, even to my late 20s.
I have been called ugly so much in my life that I believe it. I’m 43F and single. I think that has something to do with why I’m still single.
My dad liked to talk about how hot my mom was in her 20’s. She had had 3 kids by the time I was around and was no longer skinny. He made rude offhand comments about both of us.
My mother has never brought down my self esteem even when I felt ugliest she’s always called me beautiful.
I have disordered eating now. My food was heavily monitored and i’d have to ask before getting anything out the fridge that wasn’t water or fruit. Watched her do a lot to try and stay slim. I also don’t expect anyone to flirt with me cause they always went for my mother and when people did flirt with me it was either a prank or they thought I’d be a good “practice girl”.
I felt worthless and disgusting and couldn’t accept the love someone had for me for years because I was sure to be unlovable.
I also didn’t go swimming for 13 years because I thought it would be too cruel on the eyes to others… although I loved swimming.
I wasn’t fat but overweight… and that stemmed from neglect as my mother didn’t care that I had nothing food in school. And when I came back home I just ate a whole lot of candies.
And I loved doing sports as a child but then my mother didn’t want to burden herself with having to pay for it and making sure I went so I just… didn’t have a hobby anymore.
My mother, to this day, seeks attention for her looks. And she liked comparing us to each other. When I was 13 she sold her old wedding dress, saying that now it was clear I would never fit in it.
43 comments
I eventually also got hot, it was fine.
Hated that my mom would judge me so hard
I swear she was my number 1 hater
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I ended up with an ED
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It wasn’t great, especially seeing the boys I liked drooling over her (wearing tight, revealing clothes and everything) while they’d look at me disgusted. It has messed up my brain. I think that’s why I had major issues with femininity for a long time. I associated it with her vanity.
My mom was a cheerleader and also voted into office (class vice president I think?) because she was beautiful.
I came into the world chubby. She tried to give me slim fast at age 4. I threw it back up on her. Oops.
She still has a very complicated relationship with food and her weight. I have a head full of offhand bummer comments she made to me over the years. Like the time a cute boy blushed and smiled at me around age 13 – “imagine if your body matched your face…”
All in all, not super great. I do know she didn’t mean to perpetuate that toxic stuff on purpose? Anyway, these things are what therapy is for!
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My mom was the hot girl who didn’t know she was hot but my aunt was the hot girl who knew she was hot, we all lived together. I was chubby until I was like 17/18 and then my aunt started talking to me on her own and my mom was super insecure around me. Wildly confusing
My mother was my worst bully. In a way, this made the other bullying I endured less severe since, after all, everything I ever got from them I got from my mother ten times worse and all before the age of five.
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My mother would constantly tell me how she was a size 2 untill she had me and my siblings then a size 4 afterwards. I have a memory of asking her if im pretty and what is pretty about me. Im probably 7 at this time.She made a face before answering I guess your hair is pretty. Mind you all through elementary I had crooked bangs and chopped ends because she couldnt take the time to trim them evenly. I never felt pretty and have anxiety issues as a adult.
I still have very limited confidence, and struggle to think I’m good looking.
My mum started putting me on diets when I was five and always compared me to skinnier, cuter girls. I was diagnosed with body dysmorphia at 19.
I still get called ‘Big Ash’ by my high-school-cheerleader-queen mum. I’m 31.
I have such severe body dysmorphia that despite losing 100lbs so far, I feel like I take up more space than ever. Yeah, I’m big, but my dad is a 6’6 giant and I’m built like a linebacker like him. Absolute freight train (strong af, rugby’s fun). I was never going to be the petite popular girl my mum wanted, but it didn’t stop her from belittling me at every chance. My siblings followed along because mum knows best. Doesn’t help that I was the unplanned ‘Buy one Get one’ twin from the start lol.
Doing better now! I traipse around the world with my DINK husband and spoil the nieces and nephews whenever I want.
As you can see, it sticks with you, and I haven’t found the combination of therapy and acceptance that gets rid of it yet.
She wasn’t hot in my childhood but hotter when she was young/my age. She never failed to remind me how skinny she was, how often she got hit on, how everyone loved her. If I had an achievement, she would ignore then talk about her achievements.
It made me feel small and insignificant unfortunately. At 30, it’s still something I deal with. My therapist told me when you have a parent like that, it makes you feel unworthy. She never said things in an aggressive way, so I never thought there was an actual problem. I never really knew where my perfectionist tendencies came from because it wasn’t like I was being reprimanded. It was more like I was being ignored. I didn’t realize this until therapy.
When people compliment me now I feel like they can’t possibly be telling the truth and it’s really hard for me to believe in what they are saying.
Ah my sister and I were just talking about our shared childhood trauma. I think it was typical almond mom behavior. I think my sister and I are fairly conventionally attractive, but not slim and that kills my mom. Years of little comments about how we need to be careful if we don’t lose it now we never will yada yada
We finally both had to set boundaries with her because she started that shit with our kids. Nobody’s telling my Asian children that rice is bad for them because carbs
My mom was super patronising in the name of encouraging me and my awkward acne-faced, pear-shaped, crooked (braces-needing) toothed, bushy-haired, large-septally-deviated snoring-nosed teenage self.
She herself was in amazing shape with smooth soft skin, straight white teeth, pretty silky hair and straight af Roman nose. She would routinely get compliments that she looks like my older sister. It burned. I felt like she withheld the genes from me out of pure selfishness. She also kept telling me my cystic scarring acne was just “teenage hormones” and refused most medical intervention for it. (Antibiotics etc).
Eventually I turned out okay but I do still have my dad’s septally deviated nose, and after a brush with othorexia in college, I’ve been working on my acne scars for 2 decades now. Can’t say I don’t still struggle with some body dysmorphia.
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I’m really funny now and deflect compliments. Also I can’t have grapefruit.
my mom was such a hater. Always talked about how skinny she was and how talented she was as a gymnast – I begged from a young age to also get into gymnastics, but she was too lazy to sign me up or drive me. Watching her shows on the TV was always more important. Now she’s overweight and has self image issues. I’m still thicc and insecure but I thank my giant thighs ever day for supporting me more than she ever did <3
My mom had been really beautiful in her youth, and wanted that sooo badly for me. I can tell she really thought she was doing right by me trying to give me pretty privilege, but unfortunately all she did was make me feel hideous and stressed with constant comments and outsized worry about my weight. Even when I was at my peak prettiness in my early 20s (still on the curvy side but had lost some weight at my hot climate college) I still thought I was disgusting and ended up accepting a truly mediocre boyfriend who brought me way down in life and wasted most of my 20s. I wish I’d felt some confidence to match my actual looks which really were not too shabby. I could’ve enjoyed single life and held out for a truly great partner.
To be fair I’m not exactly sure how best to help if I had a child with obesity and actual health concerns from it, (my pediatrician was never concerned), but I would sure as hell not say some of the ridiculously painful things she did.
I was definitely “ugly” in my childhood years, and my mom was absolutely beautiful. I found out later that she was so beautiful that one of her closest friends tried (unsuccessfully) starting an affair with my dad as a way to one-up her. Go figure.
I’m sad to read all these terrible experiences. My mom was nothing but supportive and loving throughout childhood. She never mentioned anything negative about our appearances. I felt insecure about my own looks, but that happened because of other reasons. I wished I could’ve looked like her, but that was more because she was just plainly gorgeous lol.
It fucking sucked.
It messed with my head a lot. I felt like I was the ugly duckling of the family and I compared myself to her constantly. It made me super insecure about my body until I grew into it.
Holy crap. Ok for context my mother was very kind. Never judged me. Never asked me to be different. Same woth my sister
But it didn’t matter. I looked different from them and i knew it. The strange psrt was is i didn’t know how i figured out they were what i wanted to look like. I guess tv or magazines. Anyway. I remember the exact day i noticed i didn’t look like my mom and sister. I was like 8 and it involved my sister and i changing infront of a body mirror.
Okay so to answer your question. It made me hate myself for a very long time. Eventually i went in a diet in middle school. I was very successful and dropped like 40 pounds. Sadly this deflated my developing boobs. Now my boobs sag and i hate them.
So going forward i still have sever body issues. After i lost the weight my greatest fear was gaining it back. I developed anorexia and bulimia in hs. I was skin and bones and i lost my period all of freshman year.
I dont really know what happened next. I was able to keep my weight to a reasonable level rven though i was genuinely starving all the time. I got a bf and he was amazing. He loved me how i was and never was upset if i gained weight. I think that helped me a lot. What truly cured me was going to college.
My high school was small and all the girls i was friends with were small my mom was small and my sister and all my cousins and aunts. I was small as well at this point but i always still felt bigger and less attractive. I lived in Colorado. I went to college in kansas and my whole world transformed around me.
As many of you might know Colorado is the thinnest state. When i went to kansas i was genuinely smaller than most people at my school. And i went to a HUGE college. Iafter four years being there i simple realized im actually a very average looking person. And my relationship with food healed. My relationship with my body healed. I genuinely don’t think im fat or ugly at all. I mean im not a stick figure and im not a super model. Im just an average normal looking person that never gets a second glance in a good or bad way. Im just out her livin man.
Anyway. I do like it when im a few pounds less. Recently i got salmonella and lost like 20 pounds. Now everyone is complimenting me and saying how skinny anf good i look. I HATE IT. because first of all. I didn’t do anything. I was just sick for a month. Second of all. Apparently im GORGEOUS now and wasn’t before. I actually wish everyone would just shut up about weight and never talk about it.
So my mom is still a stick figure but as me and my sister aged we actually evened out. Im definitely just a bigger person than she is. But fat content wise i think were pretty similar. The weight actually looks good on her which also makes me feel better.
Ok rant over
I don’t know if my mom was considered “hot,” but she was thin and pretty enough. She made it super clear to me the moment I started gaining weight during puberty that my body was NOT OKAY. I was put on diets all through adolescence. She screamed in my face that I was obese. She told me I was desperate for male attention. She told me I don’t have any friends. So many mean things that still echo in my head decades later!
From what I could gather at the time, it was all about how people would perceive HER if they saw she had an overweight child. I realized later that it’s always been about that. Needless to say, I am VLC with her these days.
It really sucks :/ To this day I hate that people
say that she’s my sister or that she looks younger than me. Her body type too if very very beautiful and i’m just there hating my body cause she flaunts it off, “look at my boobs don’t you wish you had mine” like chill dude I already wanna kms
My mother’s also-skinny, also-superficial friends dropped her because she had a fat kid. She no longer met their criteria for friendship, so because of me she had no friends.
She made sure I knew what a horrible disappointment i was and how no one would ever love me. It got worse and worse and crueler and crueler up until she died.
She was wrong. And she had fake friends.
Well first I will tell my sisters story.
Mom was conventionally pretty. Slim.
My older sister was *beautiful* and my dad was a pedo and started going after her, so my mom did *everything* she could to make my sister look ugly because she decided she was in competion with her 9 year old daughter for her husband’s attention. 🤮🤮🤮
Horrible haircuts. Feeding her tons of fatty food, then always buying her ugly and too tight clothes so every bulge would show. The ugliest glasses.
My sister was *beautiful* and my mom tried to make her *ugly*. My sister always saw herself as ugly. But man, she could turn heads when she moved out of the house!
Now I was actually lucky because I was born ugly. I really was an ugly kid. Which was *great* because dad ignored me and so mom did too. Yeah, she made snide comments, but I just didn’t care. I did “glow up” a bit as a 17 year old, but by then I was out of the house. I saw beauty as a curse, not a gift. And as an adult I always felt people gave me credibility as a professional for being…IDK, neither ugly nor beautiful, just “average”. Competent. Which I think is lucky because I never got unwanted attention and I wasn’t discriminated against for being ugly.
Later in life I realized that I was not the only person whose mother intentionally tried to make them look unattractive, ie. giving me horrific haircuts that made everyone ask if I was a boy (which my mom thought was hilarious)
My mom made it very clear I was chubby. She would make and still does, jabs and comments. Things that seem innocent to an outsider, but I know what she really means. Its extremely annoying and still irrates me
Oh man, my time to shine! My mom had me super young and was essentially a size 2 all of my adolescence. I was a chubby kid, I’m still chubby now as an adult. She would only really keep slim fast and diet meals in the house, she put me in a number of pageants and stopped when it was clear I couldn’t just “lose weight” despite her forcing intense diet and exercise on me. She bragged about being able to wear one of my dance leotards from when I was 8 as a woman in her 20s. She’s gotten a little bit bigger now, I’m still chubby, but I’d call myself decent looking. I fought with an eating disorder for years, she’s miserable about her looks and wants all kinds of surgery. On the other hand, I’ve done a lot of internal work and I’m not always happy with my body, but I do think that I’m pretty and that’s enough for me.
Oh wow, we’re reopening the trauma huh? I was the chubby girl. I have 2 stick thin model sisters that were always told how beautiful they are. I was the kid that was given skim milk and never allowed seconds. I’m thin now and have issues with food. But my mother was always attractive and still is now. She had the big fake tits, nice legs. Everyone loved to tell me how beautiful and hot she is.
It wasn’t until I grew up and saw how her own mother treats her and is about food that I learned my mother was just mirroring how she was raised. My grandma literally said to my mother when she visited last, “it looks like you’ve put on weight” and maybe I’m biased, but she’s in her 60s and she’s hot af, she looks like she’s in her late 40s still. Fit, strong, die hard keto and not a bit of fat on her.
I’ve had to see therapists and dieticians to try and deal with my food and body issues. But nothing truly fixes being raised in an environment like that.
Everyone wanted to fuck my mom. *Everyone*.
I had a friend in high school who would come over after soccer practice and shower at my house, but he only ever did it when I was at my mom’s place. I always thought it was a funny little quirk of his, then we caught up briefly in college and he admitted that he would not only leave the door unlocked but also have it cracked open in the hopes that my mom would come into the bathroom and fuck him.
It took a few years of therapy to realize that some friends I only had because they were trying to get at my mom. Gross.
My mom and I are best friends now, but I had so much conflict with her growing up. We just fought all the time about such stupid things. She’d follow me around fixing my bra straps and trying to convince me to shop for something presentable in Lane Bryant or whatever. And she just legitimately didn’t get how demeaning and embarrassing it was at that age trying to put any effort into my appearance when my peers literally described any effort I made as putting lipstick on a pig. Growing up everybody told me that I was just like my dad. He never understood why my mom gave me so much crap about my appearance. I was convinced I was going to grow up to be an engineer and no one would care if I looked like garbage because I am smart and funny.
And it took me until adulthood, getting paid a third percentile salary at my software job, before I realized that no one would ever see me like they saw my dad. That was never an option to me. And the answer wasn’t to curl my hair and wear more cardigans like my mom wanted. She didn’t really get it either. But she understood what I was facing in adult life in a way that nobody else really did. I remember watching the movie Brave in theatres, sobbing for half an hour, and immediately calling my mom. She still hasn’t seen it to this day, because she doesn’t really like animated movies. But we hang out almost every weekend. We have more in common than I thought we did.
Damn I love this question. It’s not talked about enough.
Well, she criticized me. Called me ugly. I never felt like I was pretty enough, she never called me pretty.
At my late teens, it all started to change when I joined beauty pageants. She eventually found me pretty, maybe due to halo effect, but the core wound is still something I carry, even to my late 20s.
I have been called ugly so much in my life that I believe it. I’m 43F and single. I think that has something to do with why I’m still single.
My dad liked to talk about how hot my mom was in her 20’s. She had had 3 kids by the time I was around and was no longer skinny. He made rude offhand comments about both of us.
My mother has never brought down my self esteem even when I felt ugliest she’s always called me beautiful.
I have disordered eating now. My food was heavily monitored and i’d have to ask before getting anything out the fridge that wasn’t water or fruit. Watched her do a lot to try and stay slim. I also don’t expect anyone to flirt with me cause they always went for my mother and when people did flirt with me it was either a prank or they thought I’d be a good “practice girl”.
I felt worthless and disgusting and couldn’t accept the love someone had for me for years because I was sure to be unlovable.
I also didn’t go swimming for 13 years because I thought it would be too cruel on the eyes to others… although I loved swimming.
I wasn’t fat but overweight… and that stemmed from neglect as my mother didn’t care that I had nothing food in school. And when I came back home I just ate a whole lot of candies.
And I loved doing sports as a child but then my mother didn’t want to burden herself with having to pay for it and making sure I went so I just… didn’t have a hobby anymore.
My mother, to this day, seeks attention for her looks. And she liked comparing us to each other. When I was 13 she sold her old wedding dress, saying that now it was clear I would never fit in it.