Twice I've (43f) found an empty blue chew packet in the trash, and we're definitely not having sexytime. Almost 20 years married, and I've felt like his mom most of the time.
When I asked him (41m) who they were for he said he takes it once a week just in case I'm interested. But I haven't been told about this. He says it's just because.
If it was for me, wouldn't he say 'hey, I'm going to take this every week on this day if you're into it." While also giving me no attention or indication that this might be a possibility on the day.
I'm sure he's not cheating but this makes my stomach turn, and I feel like I'm being lied to. Do other men do this? Take it just in case, regularly, and just… hope something…falls in your lap?
TL;DR;found empty blue chew in trash, he says it was just in case.
Edit: I appreciate everyone being genuine with me and not throwing a wall of "he's cheating" at me. We obviously both have a lot to work on, but I feel a bit more educated in the matter, and have apologized for the way I asked. Thank you all.
4 comments
>I’m sure he’s not cheating
>but this makes my stomach turn
Why is your stomach turning if you are sure he’s not cheating?
Okay, I caveat this with the fact that my situation is not your situation. I was diagnosed with a life-limiting cancer at an early age, had chemo, all of which limited my ability to rise to the occasion. From a sexy time perspective. For me, it was physiological in the first instance, and then, later, psychological. And so I took a generic version of viagra (on medical advice).
Now, I’m guessing none of that is relevant to your situation.
However, I would take the medication without necessarily telling my partner. The medication I was on had efficacy for, I think, 48 hours. And because we had a rhythm of intimacy, I knew to take it on, say, a Tuesday and on, say, a Friday.
I generally wouldn’t tell my partner, not because I was hiding anything, but because I was ashamed and embarrassed (as silly as that is). And because I wanted the event to feel spontaneous to her, without expectation that, because I’d taken the pill, we needed to fuck.
Having said all of that, I did get over myself eventually and, without making a big deal, she was aware that I was getting a little help. Eventually, I no longer needed the medication.
Most of that, I guess, is irrelevant… Save that maybe some guys are embarrassed, and maybe some guys want it to feel spontaneous – and saying, “Hold the fort, Missus, I’m about to deploy the pill in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…” isn’t conducive to that.
They don’t HAVE to be used for sex with another person, based on what you’re saying it’s entirely possible that he’s using them to improve his “alone time.”
«… and we’re definitely not having sexytime. Almosr 20 years married, and I’ve felt like his mom most of the time»
Hmmm