Hi all. I wanted to share my experience and see if anyone has had similar experiences.
I've been on and off the apps for about a year now and I have been losing weight the entire time. I recently got out of a 5 month relationship with someone I met online. During that 5 months I lost a lot of weight. From like 160 to 136, very lean rn.
I was never Casanova or anything, but I was always able to get a few matches every couple of weeks. I was going on at least 2 or 3 first dates every month for a while and had a few situationships here and there.
Now that I've lost weight, I get no matches or likes. I've been back in for a few weeks and it's bone dry. I also meet women at open mics, since I'm a musician, but I'm getting rejected in person as well.
Nothing about me has changed physically except for my weight, and I cut my hair kind of shorter recently, but not that much shorter. I'm very happy with the way I look, and I think my face in particular looks more defined and healthy.
Has anyone experienced something like this before?
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The following is a copy of the above post as it was originally written.
**Title:** [Worse luck on apps and in person after losing weight](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/1tgr9a5/worse_luck_on_apps_and_in_person_after_losing/)
**Author:** /u/StaindWithSin
**Full text:** Hi all. I wanted to share my experience and see if anyone has had similar experiences.
I’ve been on and off the apps for about a year now and I have been losing weight the entire time. I recently got out of a 5 month relationship with someone I met online. During that 5 months I lost a lot of weight. From like 160 to 136, very lean rn.
I was never Casanova or anything, but I was always able to get a few matches every couple of weeks. I was going on at least 2 or 3 first dates every month for a while and had a few situationships here and there.
Now that I’ve lost weight, I get no matches or likes. I’ve been back in for a few weeks and it’s bone dry. I also meet women at open mics, since I’m a musician, but I’m getting rejected in person as well.
Nothing about me has changed physically except for my weight, and I cut my hair kind of shorter recently, but not that much shorter. I’m very happy with the way I look, and I think my face in particular looks more defined and healthy.
Has anyone experienced something like this before?
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It likely has nothing to do with your looks at all.
Yup! I’ve lost 144lbs and although I haven’t noticed a change in the amount of likes I get, bc this isn’t something I’ve ever tracked or paid attention to, the quality of people I match with is waaaay lower now. I could bag way better people as a fattie
probably just random bad luck and out of your control
I’ve lost 200 lbs and the quality of matches is far FAR lower than when I was heavier. Way more men trying to play me or just use me for hookups. When I was heavier I was matching with more people that I felt like I had a connection with beyond a physical level, like we’d both enjoy traveling or have a same hobby or something else. Now I feel like I have to be hyper vigilant that they actually want to get to know me as a person and aren’t just like “hark, there goes a female!”
Are you sending likes/talking to similar sort of women?
How tall are you… and are you male?
I ask because 136 is a mid-healthy BMI for a 5’5″ guy – it can look quite skinny on a lot of people.
But also 5 months ago was solidly in ‘cuffing season’.
As someone who (purposely) put on weight, sometimes it just ain’t about the weight
I hit a point with dating apps that they just just stopped – I was probably looking better than ever when that happened. I wonder if might just have nothing to do with you at all, but maybe saturation in your area, app fatigue among people etc. I have no idea, but it is worth remembering that with technology being more and more involved in dating we are not the only factors in matches and dates
Assuming you’re a man, 136 is rly small and probably pretty noticeable .. a lot of women like a little girth (lol)
If the weight loss was not health-related, perhaps consider putting the weight back on (working out is a plus)
Assuming you’re about average height (5’9), then 136 lbs is quite thin. While I, personally, prefer thinner men—I know most of my girlfriends prefer not to date men who are smaller than they are. There’s a reason dad bods are so popular with women—one thing we look for is men who are more-in-line with our own level of fitness.
So have you posted new pics or being a catfish? You lost 15% of your body weight. You should look physically different. Also cuffing season is over. Nobody looking for a relationship at the beginning of summer.
It’s the market bro, I feel like so many men and women just aren’t on the market anymore
I doubt it’s about weight, unless there was a dramatic gain or loss. I’m 5’11” and 35, when I was in my late 20s I was about 160-170 and didn’t have much luck on the apps. I’m now 195 and trying to go back to 180 or so, but fairly muscular. Still not much luck on the apps after a divorce, so I think apps just kind of suck, at least where Ilive, in a smaller city of 80k people. Irl I get some attention, so I don’t think it’s just how I look lol.
Well, depending on your height, you might have gotten a bit thinner than people appreciate. Most likely, it has very little to do with your weight. Either change of location, different season, different pictures, low local population (so you’ve already seen everyone), or any other number of factors
Never experienced this but I have seen that some people who have extreme weight loss so not know how to dress their new bodies so perhaps a makeover is needed to show off the new physique because there really is attraction to all types but you have to be able to show it off.
From reading your comments – 160 to 136 at 5’11 takes you from fit/athletic to skinny in my mind. Especially if you like bigger women, there are some who are into it but it narrows your dating pool. Definitely initiate by sending likes because if I saw you on an app I would assume you would not be into someone who did not share the same fitness level.
Just curious, were you on the apps at the same time of the year in both instances?
I’ve noticed Spring and early Summer seem kind of dead. Late summer and Fall are more active.
Friends have suggested everyone is out doing stuff when the weather is nice, are meeting more people organically, and aren’t as focused on online dating.
When the weather turns for the worse, people are on the apps. They’re also rushing to find someone before the holidays (Christmas and Valentine’s day).
Wow 160 to 136. I thought I was reading this as you are a woman
I lost 100 pounds, was a size 0-2 at my smallest, and it made little difference. But I’m ugly.
Reading the thread, I agree with the other commentors that you may have gotten a little too skinny for many women. 136 on an average height man is really thin.
Okay – the algorithm and boosts are probably just drying up. Maybe your new pictures aren’t as inviting.
Regarding your weight its your body. As long as you’re healthy and happy that’s all that matters, but there are extremes and body dysmorphia is a thing.
Guys somehow still seem to believe that women are as appearance-oriented as men are. That’s not the case.