I have recently created a fake female photo on Tinder, to see how the situation looks on the other side of the river.

Very minimalistic profile, two AI-generated pics.

In less than one hour I received 99+ likes.

I'm browsing the guys profiles, many of them look normal profiles to me.

So it seems that it should be trivial for a lady to find a guy to date. Is that the case? If not, why not? What do I not understand?


46 comments

  2. I don’t really understand the point of creating fake profiles on dating apps when you already know the results vary based on attraction and sometimes desperation. Some guys complain about matching with AI or bots, but then contribute to the same problem themselves, does that really make sense? Unless you’re interested in men, it seems better to stop doing that. It’s a bit beggy!

    Putting that first point aside, yes, some women get a lot of likes in a day, but many of those matches aren’t actually compatible. The best approach is to message and see what people are really like. Be clear and strict about what you’re looking for, whether that’s a relationship, someone who plans ahead, or other key values and that naturally narrows things down. Also factor in preferences like age, whether someone has children, past drug use, or just overall vibe. You might start with around 100 options, but that can quickly drop to fewer than ten who genuinely fit what you want.

    Then factor in ghosting, location, mismatch of availabilities. If you’re desperate for a relationship, sometimes it might be easier but not necessarily. There’s so much that goes into it than just likes.

  3. You’re right and wrong. Finding any guy “to date” is easy, finding a guy you’d WANT to date is what narrows the pool. ‘Normal’ is doing a lot of leg work for you in this post. People have standards beyond that

  4. Did you try engaging with them? That’s where the issues begin. When they put fingertips to keyboard.

  5. >What do I not understand?

    That those hundred likes are not a good thing.

    It’s tiring and dehumanizing looking through a hundred profiles

  6. Start messaging them. I’ll give you 30 minutes and you’ll figure it out (and you won’t even need that much time)

  8. Try having a conversation any of those matches now. 95% of any conversation starts as “Hey” and within 5 responses turns sexual or you get the straight up “DTF?” or “show me your tits.”

    Was talking to a guy that seemed super chill, great sense of humor, looked great thru pics…a few weeks later: finally stepped up and said he’d just got out of rehab and had a DWI so he couldn’t drive and was living in his brother’s basement while working at the golf course next door.

    Or surprise! A few great dates in and he let’s you know he has 3 kids under 7 yo when I don’t have nor want any.

    Or hey! Come to find out his ex is still living with him.

    Yeah, good luck sifting thru the litter box.

  10. 95% of the conversations either try to turn sexual, are not reciprocal, very low effort, values or wants don’t align, etc etc etc. It’s also overwhelming to have so many likes and then followed with the reasons above.

  11. Some dudes uploaded a pot plant photo called Emily, it got thousands of thirsty messages

    True!

  12. I have a friend who’s extremely attractive, she sends hinge profiles she encounters into our group chat and BOY it’s bad lmao. The quantity is there but the quality is dogshit.

  13. There is a TikTok creator that does a format where he is looking at 5 guys profiles and determines if they are “datable” or not. It is really funny but als ointeresting because he seems to see what meny men don’t see.

    But from personal experience, let’s break it down by using 100 men. We can count out 4 alread because they don’t have a profilepicture or no information in their profile. Another 4 that are obviously way older than the age they have given, which is usually done so they show up at younger womens filters. Now you have about 6 people that you are excluding for obvious hygene reasons, 2 that are actually a couple looking for a 3rd and you are left with 84 potential people. Let’s say you are attracted to 2/3 of the people and we are now at 56 possible matches before even looking at their bios.

    Considering I would be looking for something serious, I would exclude everyone that is “figuring things out” or has put “short term” or any variation in their profile (while also claiming they are looking for long term mind you). That is about every second person (icluding the ones that put “long term” in their profile but “confess” they are looking short term while chatting), leaving us with 28 people.

    Only now are we actually “getting to know” the person and now you start excluding the ones that obviously don’t align with you (kids, political views, living situation, lifestyle, etc). That excludes about another third so if we are rounding up, you now have 19 people you would want to start a conversation with. Sounds like a lot? Nope!

    2 of those people will send you unsolicited pictures of themselves within the first 30 minutes of talking to you and another 7 (yes, 7, as in, every third person) will steer the conversation in a sexual direction during that first conversation. Then you have about 4 people that could not hold a conversation if their life depended on it and 3 people that you just don’t click with. Congrats! Now you have 3 people that you could possibly go on a date with and hope that they are also a good person in real life, if they don’t ghost you after the first conversation!

  15. From my personal experience, I got 850+ likes and matches on Bumble within just 3–4 days. I talked to a few, but none of them were really my type. So yeah, for girls like me, getting matches is easy..but finding a guy actually worth dating is the hard part.

  16. Number of likes is completely arbitrary. You might as well as have zero if you are not compatible or attracted to those guys. One good match is always better than a million meh possibilities.

    Personally, I find apps very difficult because physical appearance is actually quite a tricky metric for me. A person who is funny, kind, charismatic but average looking will always be preferable to a hottie with the personality of a door in the long term.

  17. I suggest messaging them all and see what kind of conversation you have with them as a woman.

  18. You could look at posts here to understand the experience that women have without creating fake profiles which only exacerbate the overall problems.

  19. Yes that’s 99 likes from men who want to sleep with that woman, not necessarily be in a healthy committed relationship with her, which is what most women want. Maybe 10% (being generous) have good intentions but the chances of that 10% being compatible is low. So the swiping continues


  21. It’s super easy to find a guy who wants to fuck but one that will idk treat a woman as a full person and want to get to know you is difficult

  22. What you understand is the surface level logic of what you want to think.

    Woman who is attractive = many dates

    What you’re not understanding is the simple filtration system the Woman (and man) have to go through to find their ideal partner.

    Woman who is attractive ≠ quality dates or quality men

    Now your question is very elementary in the simplicity of you not understanding why woman are complaining about the dating world when options are available so, I’m not going to go into the nuances of why their experiences have been more, less or the same when compared to men.

  23. Yes. Tinder is a ghost town. I match with many men but they never start the convo, and when I do they either don’t respond or are very dry. It’s the same on Hinge. I’ve had the most success with Bumble but I’m currently so done with online dating, I’ve paused all the apps.

  26. A quality guy, yes. If a woman is looking for a guy who only wants sex and/or has zero conversational skills, that’s like the easiest thing in the world

  27. Babes, quantity =\= quality. That lacks a lot.
    It’s all fun and games until you actually talk to them or meet them.

  28. Yes, I get many likes and matches but maybe one of like a hundred would respond/text first and hold a conversation. Most convos die as the men give one word responses. 

  29. Gross.

    Fake accounts mess with the algorithm.

    No wonder nobody can find a real partner. There are too many “experiments” going on.

    Also, AI is destroying communities. Don’t use AI.

  30. OP: imagine if you had hundreds of women who matched with you, but the vast majority of those women just wanted to fuck you as quickly as possible.

  32. Most of them just want to fuck and leave with as little effort as possible. Start talking to them and all you get is unsolicited dick pics and one word answers.

  35. It’s not a problem finding guys. But finding a guy that is both attractive and able to be in a relationship is definitely a major challenge. Especially as age increases.

  36. There’s a dating coach that says only 1 in 10 men are worth dating… That one guy who is worth dating might still not be relationship material.

  37. I never struggled with finding a guy. Always thought I’ll never find the right one after a relationship ended but was never the case.

  38. I think the struggle is more finding a stable guy with good intentions.
    A friend of mine showed her Tinder/Hinge matches and either the guys she matched with opened the conversation with:
    – Can I see your feet?
    – What is your bra size?
    – Which sex position do you prefer?

    You get the point. Then some of the guys who seemed normal took a turn for the worst after a couple of days of chatting where they showed their true colors.
    The supply is bigger for women but with larger supply also comes a bigger amount of low quality people.

    If it’s just about finding a person for a date where you don’t care how unhinged, dangerous or perverse that person is, then I bet it’s easy to find someone.
    But if you want to find someone where you can hopefully build something meaningful and not put yourself in any danger then it becomes harder.

    Again, this is just from a guy who has been shown what female friends are experiencing on dating apps. So take it with a pinch of salt and there are probably some ladies out there that can give a better image of what it’s like.

  39. Women can find a guy fine, it’s finding the right guy who won’t murder you, won’t beat you, won’t use you, won’t lie to you, won’t abandon you, won’t disrespect and use you for their own purposes
that’s the hard part

  40. every woman complaining on here about having too many options to choose from should make an average male profile. gurantee that you will never complain about your situation again.

    boo fucking hoo, out of 99 options, only a couple are dateable. well, out of 3 options for the average guy, 0 are dateable.

  41. Most of the men on apps, especially Tinder, are there for casual sex but they will lie and say they are looking for a relationship. That’s the first hurdle. How will he respond if sex isn’t immediately on the table? Odds are very good he’ll peace out. That’s 90% of them right there.

    Are the other 10% consistent? Are they showing me clarity? Are they putting in effort, or am I carrying the conversation and planning the dates? He’s not interested if I’m doing all the work, so they’re gone. That gets rid of probably half of these guys.

    Are the remaining 5% dating seriously/with marriage as a goal? Do they want kids? Are they ok with surrogacy or adoption since I can’t physically carry? Is he employed? Are our trajectories compatible on a fundamental level? This is rare.

    Which is how you get to be like me, 31 and having never had a relationship longer than 9 months (and even that one was gay and in the closet).

    I gave up completely, haven’t been on those apps or a date since October.

  42. I agree with the other comments saying quality over quantity but you also used ai pictures. The ai photo probably represents the top 1% of beautiful women which obviously any man would want

  43. Talk to them and you’ll find out there might be many who swipe but basically none can hold a conversation.

  44. “Bro, I don’t get why Africa is starving. I went there, and there is so much dirt that they could eat!”

  45. Try finding a single one that has their life together and is able to talk to you respectfully…

  46. Just because I have a barrel of rotten fish doesn’t mean I have a feast.

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