I think im too obsessed with my girlfriend

Yeah, we're not married yet, currently long distance, been dating for four years, and man as of recent, I think I'm getting way too attached to her and EXTREMELY obsessed with her, it's kinda embarrassing to say this in public but I just kinda get horny just as I start talking to her too, and it doesn't change until I stop talking to her, recently we got into a fight and blocked me, for one entire day, I genuinely felt extremely suicidal and felt like life had no meaning, I'm so fucking obsessed with her, I quite literally can NOT live without her, and ahhhhh she's just so nonchalant sometimes it pisses me off, I want more attention, more love, I wanna be noticed more, like, I feel like a petty older brother, except I'm jealous of everyone she talks to and everything she does without me, and fuck, again, this is extremely embarrassing to say, but I get turned on SO easily by her, like not even call or voice messages, just text, I think im starting to get too obsessive, I'm scared she'd get annoyed and block me again, what if I hurt myself bad?

Is this..healthy? I feel like that's kinda stupid to ask

How do I fix myself?

God I love her soooo much