posting on a burner for obvious reasons. for reference, i have literally the lowest sex drive ever, but i think it would be higher if i had a partner that actually paid attention to me. at the beginning he would actually TRY to make me feel good and we had sex way more because it was enjoyable but the last 5 years it’s been all about him busting and then were done lol. when i say he does nothing to try to satisfy me i mean nothing😂 not even a finger on the clit like nothing at all LMFAO. i’ve brought up multiple times and he uses the excuse that we have a kid now (just turned 2) and we don’t have privacy (which is true) but like i literally told him i dont even care about busting a nut it’s more about just trying to make it enjoyable for me too. also for reference i lost every lb of pregnancy weight i gained so i dont think its about like attraction i just dont think he thinks making me feel good is important. i told him it’s been 5 years since he made me c*m and asked “doesn’t that bother you?” and he said no😭 i’m like super hurt by this lol. sex isn’t super important to me but im not stupid and i know it’s a big part of marriage. other than that we have a solid marriage and most of the other issues we have, he works on for me so i don’t really know what to think of this lol
28 comments
Real question, please answer: Why would you want to stay with someone who adamantly and admittedly doesn’t care about you?
Do better. Because this is pathetic.
So there isn’t privacy to finger you but there is enough for him to dump his cum inside you?
Honestly don’t know how you can still be with someone so selfish. And to have a kid with them! What an example that kid has, to only think of oneself and not care the littlest bit about your partner. (Because for sure if he is this selfish in the bedroom, he is selfish everywhere!)
I would for sure stop fucking him. He can find himself another hole, preferable one that’s an actual object instead of someone he just treats like one.
He’d rather abstain than even *try* to make it mutually enjoyable, which is information he will surely leave out when he inevitably starts posting in r/deadbeadrooms lamenting how hard done by he is because his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him.
Divorce court 😅
Your husband doesn’t think pleasuring you is important, so why should you? He can use his hand in the shower if he thinks this way about you.
The fact that he doesn’t even care if you enjoy it or not, shows just how self absorbed he is. Why would you want to have sex with him?
Get yourself some decent toys and ditch sex with him.
He doesn’t care about you and your satisfaction. There are men who will. Toys will never fail to satisfy you.
The problem as I see it is that I cannot believe this selfishness doesn’t bleed into other parts of your life. When it comes to chores, child care, cooking, cleaning etc what is the ratio you vs him?
The thing is, this isn’t even about being good in bed. He could have a tiny micro penis and ED. But any guy can use a toy, a tongue or a finger to give you an orgasm. And he’s been too lazy for five years? WTF?
Yet how many times has he used you as a sex doll to get off?
Sorry, but it is total selfishness and there is no excuse. And even when confronted with the reality he is incredibly nonchalant about it like this is normal.
So basically, you’re a sex doll to him.
There’s only one piece of advice and you already know what it is.
Please stop having sex with this selfish lazy man.
I really hope this is fake. Women need to stop having sex with boys like this. 🙄 Definitely stop defending him.
There are so many women who think they have low sex drives. Then they get a divorce and it turns out they simply weren’t attracted to their husband.
The “it’s not worth getting a woman off” is a very common view among Manosphere men.
You could be single and either sexless in peace or having actual great sex with someone else.
Ah, divorce worthy. You put your foot down and tell him you will find that satisfaction with or without him. Don’t be miserable going into your 30s while you’re still physically able.
Buy him a fleshlight and tell him you’ll be finding your sexual pleasure with someone who cares if that’s how he feels about you.
“I’m like super hurt by this lol”
This sentence tells me you are used to putting yourself second, don’t take your own complaints seriously or think they’re worth voicing (because your husband has taught you this), and have been diminished in your relationship. This is about so much more than the orgasm gap.
Do you want to be with a man who literally doesn’t care? You say you love him, but why?
I mean – this man doesn’t care about your pleasure. There’s no way his lack of care about you only manifests during sex. Selfishness isn’t that narrowly targeted.
Why are you staying and putting up with this treatment.
Don’t have sex with him :/ this is so sad I’m sorry
You know you can be a stay at home mom, and have a husband that cares about you right?
He doesn’t care about you. You may try to justify it because he does the bare minimum of supporting you and your children. But what would he do if he found another hot girl? Throw you to the side and forget about you.
Is this the kind of man you want your daughter to marry?
I mean idk what you want because you are just defending him in the comments. You won’t leave so get used to not being satisfied. That’s your only choice.
So he’d rather you view sex with him as a chore than have you actually want to have sex and enjoy it. Because he is lazy and has no respect for you at all, and frankly does not sound like he even likes you.
He doesn’t care about not making you come in the last 5 years, and doesn’t even want to try?
Jesus.
And this my friends is the number one reason for dead bedrooms.
Ladies if your man refuses to put effort into you STOP putting effort into him.
That means zero orgasms for him. No hand. No mouth. No action. No nothing. Let him starve. Sex should benefit both equally or neither.
Sex is WORTHLESS to a woman if she doesn’t get off. Sex looses all value if it’s not enjoyable. All desire….gone. Resentment… through the roof. It simply is not worth it at all to not come, feel no pleasure at all, and probably feel pain if he’s just jamming it in there dry when you are totally unaroused. None the less feeling USED and uncare for the EMOTIONAL PAIN that inflicts. Not all sex is good sex. Some sex is so AWFUL never being fucked again in your life is far preferable to it.
Tell this man he is bad in bed, a lazy lover, and his actions have made you loose all sexual attraction to him and that you no longer desire him sexually.
“I’m like super hurt by this lol” girl pls get serious about what you need and take your own happiness seriously. He’s telling you that he does not care about you. As a bisexual woman I cannot IMAGINE having a wife and not wanting to do those things for her. Like jfc what’s his issue
May this type of love never find me
I divorced my first husband for this very reason. My new husband worships the ground I walk on. Life is too short, babe.
Edit: also, I was 32 and my son was 7 when I left my ex and met my now husband. You’re young. You’ll have plenty of prospects.
He’s using you as a human fleshlight. I would decline having sex with him at all if he’s only interested in his own pleasure and not yours. Then I would openly purchase some vibrators and clit toys. I would also be reconsidering the whole marriage, TBH. He doesn’t respect you and this doesn’t sound like love either.
It’s truly sad that you’re LOLing your way through a post about why your husband doesn’t give a fuck about you
“We have a solid marriage.” No you don’t. He is totally indifferent to your pleasure. (“it’s been 5 years since he made me c*m.”) Advice would be to find a man who cares about you, at least a little.