Whenever I enter a room I notice the energy shift. This is mainly with anxious people. The vibe suddenly seems all stressed and chaotic. For context I am confident and grounded. Calm confidence, not performative.
People will even be cold and standoffish with me till I engage a smile. But to me it seems others can me neutral with them for them to not be standoffish. But the same doesn’t work for me. I need to engage a smile for them to relax. Is that cause confidence is more intimidating if you don’t? Whereas if you have anxious energy it feels less intense being neutral?
I will always find it weird that we work this way as humans. As I am comfortable with people being neutral and I’m not sure why that’s not acceptable for most.
I am not great at always remembering to signal like smile etc, only because I feel calm and grounded inside and to me that should also translate to others by my vibe but realise me not micro signalling that all is ok while also being confident and grounded could be hard to read/intense.
Is it possible my energy is actually causing this impact? Or is it more likely that I am just very socially aware and picking up on their anxious energy? And are they also picking up that I’m picking it up and analysing and that makes them more anxious?
I’m always down to improve and change my presence.
Cheers!
TLDR: Since growth in confidence I am way more observant of how others feel. It’s a blessing and a curse but I need help regulating it.
2 comments
A lot of people aren’t confident, so being around others who are can be off putting initially. I think also you’re just hyper focusing on this. You’re noticing and picking up on energy, that’s it. I don’t think others realize you’re picking it up on it and analyzing them, and even if they do, who cares? You can’t be worrying about what people think of you this much.
It sounds like once you start talking to them they relax a bit, so I don’t think there’s anything to improve or change. If you said people seemed neutral and then got anxious when you spoke to them, that would be time to examine your behaviour.
I do wonder if it’s also because you’re a man. I’m a woman and while I don’t exude confidence I’m fairly calm and anxious people come up to me, even when I don’t really want them to.
If everyone around you acts the same way either you’re paranoid or your “energy” is doing something.
Maybe you are confident but also severe and intense for example and you might need a bit of a smile to overcome your resting serious face