I’ve (32M) been with my wife for a long time, we started dating like 11 years ago and she is the love of my life. I really love her and she’s always been super supportive of me in life and in the bedroom. I started reading smuttier books a few years ago and I love a romance book or a romantasy. One of the earlier romance books I read, the female main character would call the male main character “daddy” and it was an uncomfortable moment for me to realize that it was a thing I was kind of into. My wife was super supportive when I told her and said “I don’t care much either way, so I’m happy to call you daddy” and uses it during sex and sometimes to lure me into bed when she’s in the mood. We also have some experience with D/s scenes and kink, which we both seem to enjoy.
But I’ve been realizing recently that I like the feeling of a DD/lg dynamic a bit and would kind of like to broach the subject to her. I bought new glasses a while back and she had this look on her face and said “it makes you look like a professor…” and I could tell that she was really into the look. Things like that are more exciting to me than I thought they would be. I don’t like the whole age regression thing, I don’t want her to act like a baby or play with toys in front of me and stuff. I just like when she’s dressed cute and lets me take care of things for her, maybe asking for permission for things occasionally because of the control I like to feel. And I like when she’s turned on and into me because I am an authority figure to her, I guess?
Is it weird or wrong that I am a bit interested in this? And how do I bring it up to her in a way that is fair to her? I don’t want her to just indulge me, and I don’t want her to feel gross about the idea of this sort of flavour of D/s, but I also would like to maybe try it out a bit more than just her calling me daddy in bed?
3 comments
I think this is a pretty common kink and isn’t weird at all. Definitely do talk to her about it, she might be into it, and if not well it would be good to know.
Tell her there’s something you’d like to try in bed and give her the option to say no if it’s not her thing. Best of luck
It really depends on what the boundaries are, what specifically you would like her to “ask permission/look up to you for”, so you have the hot feeling, but also what isn’t going to make her feel inferior in the situation. In that kind of kink I know I would still want to always feel like I had an equal amount of control, no matter what the play stuff was. Like I might get on my knees and beg for permission to suck cock, but I’m not asking anyone permission for things like what can or can’t wear, etc. On the flip side, I wouldn’t mind feeling like I’m being taken care of in a gentleman fashion, such as pulling out my chair, taking off my coat, opening the door for me, etc; or maybe I would even ask for little things here and there, it would depend on what it is though.
I actually did date a guy who told me that I had to wait for him to pull out my chair, and open the door for me. He insisted I stay in the car until he opened the door for me. It did feel excessive, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. I’m not suggesting you to that extent, he was intense, but he never intimidated me, so it was fine in the end.
I think you should find what examples you would enjoy in that dynamic, and see if that works for me. When it comes to think kind of kink there needs to be a lot of communication and specifics.
“An 85? Really, Professor? Isn’t there *anything* I can do to get that A??” 😎