This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Really connected with someone (at least I thought?) just for him to completely ghost when I gave him my number š I’m so tired of not getting past giving my phone number or the first date. As much as I enjoy meeting new people, and I want to find my person, I think I need a break
Edit: this is a vent! Not asking for advice, thank you!
So my second lovestory jas started now..
I matched with a nice guy on hinge 2 weeks ago. He was looking nice but I didnt feel sexually attracted to him.
Now we have met 3 times already and I get to know him better. He is actually a really interesting guy and I wanna know more about him. I am starting to feel sexually attracted to him but at the same I am afraid I am developing too many feelings for him in a short time.
With my first Lovestory I felt sexually so attracted and developed a huge crush on him. After 3 dates he ghosted mešš
I have yet another first date tonight. I haaaaaate first dates and the anxiety that comes with it for me. I also just donāt want to be disappointedā¦
Shopping at Trader Joe’s over the weekend always feels like you’re walking into a place where all these pretty attractive looking couples exist that have you envious of them and wondering where they even met because these kind of people don’t seem to exist outside of the place otherwise (answer: definitely not dating apps lol)
Anyone who used to date while attractive in their 20s. And now dating in their 30s less attractive? For instance, if you are a man who used to be attractive and have girls approach him. But are now bald and have a beer belly?
I have always been ugly so I don’t know. But for you who used to be young and pretty. How is it different now compared to then? Maybe it is easier somehow, because people care more about personalities?
Anyone else annoyed by one liner bios? Seems like thats the “cool” thing to do and really its just a lame formula. I also think pick up lines are lame. I feel a sense of inauthenticity from others online who communicate this way. I dont expect others to dump monologues about themselves but really if you’re a man or woman and you want to actually connect with a fully actualized person give them something to talk about.
Like women, i understand you like eating at restaurants and watching netflix but thats like me telling you i like ketchup on my hamburger and sleeping in a bed (mind you people seem to think sleeping is a hobby)
95 percent of people i get the impression they have no hobbies or interest. If you have none you arent actualized and you really arent ready to date even casually.
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How to deal with men that have bad breath? I go on first dates and and I keep meeting men that have bad breath… how to tell them?Ā
So far the trend this weekend has been getting matches on Hinge who then don’t respond to the question I asked. Weird.
Do you guys, especially women, mind people who you have great trouble reading on first dates? I have autism and my therapist remarked that it’s basically impossible to read my facial expressions or body language cause there’s kinda…nothing. Even family and close friends have basically zero idea how I am at any given time unless I say it.
Obviously, this has gotten in the way of dating quite a bit over the course of like 15 first dates. My idea would be to just communicate verbally and very directly say that I feel attraction, but I am not sure that makes up for such a lack of visible affection.
Thoughts?
I’ve been soul-searching again lately.
I sort of recognise that while I do want a partner, I’m not even sure what I want *from* a partner.
See, my relationship history is both short and terrible. While working on myself, it’s more like I put like, all the thinking into what I wouldn’t put up with, establishing healthy boundaries I wouldnāt be willing to budge on.
I do have this friend. We’re close but I’d never look at her like anything more than a friend. I love her, in a strictly platonic way.
We hang out a lot. I trust her and feel I could tell her anything but I also take care not to like, overshare.
She pushes me to do better and I also try to be supportive. She does have other people in her life (including a partner) she’d turn to ask for help if needed and on my end, I don’t really go to her for emotional support anymore. At least, it’s rare these days.
So
Supportive, encouraging, honest, shared interests and a deep care for each other…
Is that what a relationship should be, ideally? Except what I have with this friend is entirely platonic. I do have feelings, but they are non-romantic feelings.
So a relationship, a healthy one should be a similar picture but a step above in that closeness?
I’m very autistic and a healthy romantic relationship is not something I’ve had before so I’m trying to paint a picture.
Uhh well “early” might be more of a personal litmus. I approach people irl, and I’m not too keen on giving out social media bc I make content, so I give my number out then. I usually give out my number around 3-4 days after messaging people on apps.
Edit: maybe I should also mention that beyond making and posting content, I only allot myself a 1-2 hours of social media each day bc most algorithms trigger my mental issues.
I donāt mind kissing on a first date, but really donāt like excessive groping that early on. We hardly know each other; stop touching my boob, sir. Eww.Ā
Sometimes Iām proud of myself for āgoing out soloā but then the low key pain of seeing everyone else out with friends or partners hitsā¦ and it hurtsā¦
So about a few months after I accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life, I had a guy message me on a discord gaming server. Donāt know why I entertained it, but sometimes the universe does throw you a bone. š
Now here we are, nine months later (official for 4 months) and weāre booking our first vacation together for July. Weāre long distance and itās not easy. The 7 hr time difference sucks a lot, but itās the first time in a very long time that I feel secure in a relationship. I know weāll have a lot to still navigate, but Iām feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.
A guy I’d been chatting with on Hinge asked me out Thursday and we agreed on Saturday afternoon (I said “late afternoon” and he didn’t object to that). I gave him my number when he asked for it, assuming we’d text further to solidify our plans, but didn’t hear anything further from him. (I messaged him multiple times Friday, first to tell him I need to know when & where we’re meeting and then late in the evening to say I wouldn’t be showing up.)
I kind of figured he was ghosting, but no, he actually texted this morning (at a time I couldn’t check my phone so I didn’t see it until afterwards) at 11 am, expecting me to meet him at 1 pm at a Starbucks 20 minutes from my house! If he’d suggested a late afternoon time at a location near me I would feel a little bit bad about cancelling, but as it is I’m just glad I figured out we weren’t compatible before I spent more time and energy.
Itās clear my ex is obsessed with always looking like the good guy. He broke up with me after 3 years together hours after a romantic date and giving me gifts (all his plan btw). His reasoning was because he knew Iād enjoy the date. Fast forward to a month and a half after breaking up and he sends me a birthday present. Wtf is wrong with him. What do you even call this person. Iāll tell him itās inappropriate to send gifts and that I wonāt be accepting them. We are now 3 months post breakup when I found out by chance he sent a birthday gift and Iām just annoyed all over again (like salt in a wound) as Iām trying to heal while heās on some ānice guyā campaign
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Mini golf singles event was fun! Played mini golf and some other games. No one I was interested romantically but I did have fun. Also just proud of myself for continuing to put myself out there. A few days ago someone wrote āwhatāve you got to lose?ā and thatās been my motto!
Now, home and baking some chocolate chip muffins. This also made me realize I just wish I had someone to bake for other than my family lol.
Just feeling good this weekend. Hope you all are having a good time as well š
I just moved into my own apartment after a six and a half year relationship and I feel like I do not even know where to begin! Iām 32, never been on dating apps, never even on a blind date as all my relationships started as friends! I feel so intimidated by it all!
Just got home from a lovely first date. She was really sweet and interesting, and I thought we had a lot in common with lots to talk about. Every layer that was unpeeled it was like, oh I love that too. I’ve posted a bit about getting my heart broken a couple weeks ago by a woman I was seeing for the last few months. Didn’t think about her at all and feel really excited about this new person. When I walked her to the train station and said we should do it again, she volunteered to exchange numbers, which I think is a good sign.
And now the issue of my multi-dating is starting to materialize. I have another date tomorrow, another in the works, and several other people I’m chatting with. I’m realizing I fall for people really easily, and need to be careful about that. Like I’m already kind of smitten with this person after two and half hours. But realistically odds are it won’t become anything serious. And I also can’t let that impact my feelings about the others I date. But it’s like every part of me just wants to lean into the person I’m excited about.
Oh, another message from her – there goes my heart again.
Advice please! ā¤ļø
I’m 31/F/UK, bisexual but with a preference for men. I’ve been celibate for 15 years or so (intimidating, I know) due to some trauma in my life.. I would really like to be able to have the intimate and romantic connections of a relationship as well as the companionship. I finally feel like my trauma has shrunk enough to try again although I am worried I won’t be ‘enough’ for someone.
Seeing as how dating is probably rather different for a 31 year old in comparison to, say, for a 16 year old (when I started celibacy) er… How do you actually go about finding dates and stuff or finding people to foster a connection with? Thanks! x
Haven’t lived with a partner since my mid 20s. Simpler times. I miss the times when I would have my partner gently sleeping next to me after I wake up from my nightmare, and their peaceful presence would immediately calm me.
I had no idea so many couples were poly until I joined dating apps