This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Did anyone else get the “badge” update on Hinge today? Thoughts?
Not sure I like the criteria “look before liking.” I often swipe left really quick if I see anyone who doesn’t align with me on politics or relationship type, or if they are at a shooting range, for instance. I feel like I’d be docked for knowing what I want
So I’ve been trying my new strategy of just matching and messaging a bunch of people, rather than one at a time, and I gotta say it’s pretty exhausting. I feel like all of my free time the last two weeks has been spent on thinking of good responses and engaging topics with matches. It takes a lot of energy vs. just talking with people you already know.
Second date in a couple years went so well it ended in bed.
He is kind, considerate, friendly, and a wonderful kisser with a scent that lingers on my skin in the most erotic way. He murmured appreciation for my body throughout the night, it was so passionate and genuine I couldn’t quite believe what was happening. I need to work on my self esteem. I nearly canceled because I thought he was too gorgeous and not that interested but he seems really into me.
Just. Wow.
As much as I know that texting consistency isn’t an indicator of interest, my god I would love it if my nervous system would catch up! I’m being compassionate with myself, and also if my body could stop responding to a lapse in communication like a tiger was after me that’d be great 🤣🤣
34/M, with 29/F girlfriend (30 in June).
She’s been battling ongoing health issues for maybe the last 6+ months. Itchy skin, eczema for the first time (which was an autoimmune response), weight loss, pale skin, hair loss (alopecia areata), and recently an aggressive cough for a few months.
She’s had swollen lymph nodes so went to the doctor with her Mum, and both the doctor and her Mum were terrified and are worried it’s Lymphoma, a form of cancer. She’s on the 2 week cancer pathway here in the UK, and had emergency blood tests this morning.
Seeing her parents (two cognitively fluid, successful, wonderful people in their 60’s) distraught last night was heartbreaking. My girlfriend and I cried together last night (the first time she’s seen me cry in our relationship) and I barely slept last night.
I’m fucking terrified man. My Mum passed away unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm when I was 23, and my Dad’s 65 and recovering from prostate cancer, and now this. I can’t lose another person.
She’s so lovely, considerate and thoughtful, and this it’s heartbreaking picturing the road ahead.
I’m diagnosed ADHD myself and I’m completely overwhelmed, I just needed somewhere to vent.
I messaged the guy I’ve been dating for four months earlier to ask for clarity as to whether he was ghosting or wanting to end things. He replied quickly to say he isn’t ghosting me, he’s just taking time to consider what he wants to say (context: we had a difficult conversation on Sunday about where we are) and wanted a bit of breathing space.
Bracing myself for the inevitable.
My very close friend who ive been asking to marry me still will not take it seriously. 😭
I’m a fucking pussy.
We had a lovely third date, a nice chill drink before the big romantic date I promised her on Friday.
At the end of the date she drove me home, we hugged in the car and she kissed me on the cheek, and I – and I still don’t know why I fucking did it – waited for the hug to end, left the car, said goodnight and went in.
Why didn’t I fucking kiss her. She wanted me to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her. I just lost my nerve.
This morning she sent me a message saying the romance wasn’t there for us and has ended it. I’m absolutely distraught, such a singular moment has destroyed something that could’ve been incredible if I wasn’t such a pathetic excuse for a man.
I have been doing some self reflection lately. I have realized that in the last year or so I have had more luck with speed dating and even meeting people here on Reddit rather than the apps. Going to give the apps a break and stick to what works for now!
I’m going to give my boyfriend some space. He didn’t ask for it, but I just feel my anxiety coming on regarding his slow response times and I’m ready to shift focus into myself. What’s worse is I took care of him for a few days last week while he was recovering from surgery (cleaning his house, making him food, checking on him repeatedly, driving him to and from his appointments), so it feels like a slap in the face. He’s already back to normal, hanging out with people, and back to work so it’s not to do with him still recovering. Maybe I’m overthinking it, I don’t know and I don’t care lol. I don’t want to care. I’m emotionally taking a step back because I’m choosing myself today.
I wish there was an easy way to meet new people around me. I’ll probably go on a long walk after work.
i posted like a week ago that i was gonna go travel across the whole world to visit my situationship in sydney australia. he dropped communication like a week ago which kinda annoyed me but whatever. then this morning i open instagram to see he’s reposted a story from a girl in melbourne. it’s clearly just the 2 of them on a weekend trip. i’m fucking sad. i was suppose to stay with him but just booked a hotel instead. i was so excited now i dont even want to go anymore. i haven’t been seeing other people out of respect for him but clearly he’s not on the same page about that. i guess it’s on me for not talking about it beforehand but everything he was saying and doing made me think he was serious about me 🤡🤡🤡🤡
What’s with the tiny blinking heart next to some matches on Hinge?
I’ve been chatting with someone who has told me they’re fearful avoidant, and seem very self aware and emotionally intelligent. We met in person for the first time last Friday and had a really nice time.
Since then, we text every day but when meeting again comes up, that just get punted on without any specific plans being set up. Part of the thing on my end is that I’m a single parent, so I have to schedule things around that and like to get things on the calendar.
This woman is really cool, but this is getting exhausting. At a certain point I may need to find a polite way to say “Hey if you don’t want to meet up again that’s fine but I can’t just be your penpal forever”
What I’m gathering is she enjoys connection via text but when that comes to in person she’s fearful and anxious.
I broke up with my part-time boyfriend last week. I liked him a lot and we were very compatible, but both of our lives were too busy to prioritize each other. The part-time status is something I coined & it was working for me until my life calmed down significantly. So now I have a full-time opening but this guy does not have the capacity to do full-time boyfriend hours.
I’m gonna miss the time we spent together but I guess the right thing to do is find someone that makes sense for my current situation. Versus moping around wanting more time from him that he doesn’t have. I always get so nostalgic when a relationship is over and end up inflating it into something it never was. Which ends up giving me an excuse to not bother trying to date, because I’m “working through the last one”. Trying very hard to fight that reaction this time so, I’m back on the apps (ew) & attending a singles night later (less ew). Wish me luck!
Am I wrong for asking potential dates for a phone call first? I like them cause I can get a vibe of how they are when we talk in real life but one man got upset after I told him I didn’t want to go on a date with him because he said he’s bad at phone calls. He was very boring and dry during our phone call which is why I didn’t want to see him for a date.
Is getting back together with an ex ALWAYS a bad idea? What if it’s been years? Is there a statute of limitations on this rule?