Hi everyone, I’m new here and I really need some guidance.
I’m 28M and she’s 25F. Our relationship was going well until March, when someone started leaving hateful comments on her Instagram using offensive language and making accusations about her. She blocked that account, but another similar account appeared and continued for some time before stopping.
After this, she started believing that it might be me behind those messages. I clear with her that I don’t have an Instagram account and I don’t use social media much due to my work. We mainly communicate through WhatsApp
This has really upset me.
Last Thursday I checked on her, and she said she’s not interested in someone who writes offensive things about her and called her terrible names. She said she reported the account, but I don’t understand why she thinks it’s me. She has now accused me twice, and that really hurts..
I’ve been loyal to her and never even thought about being with someone else, so this is very painful for me. I also don’t understand why, after everything, she is posting normal updates like going for a facial treatment as if nothing is wrong. Sometimes she doesn’t even post anything on WhatsApp, even though she knows that’s the only platform I use.
This situation has been very upsetting for me because I genuinely have nothing to do with it. I have tried to reassure her, but she still seems unsure and has brought it up more than once, first in march, i cleared with her she send me heart emoji and everything was normal and again this last week of april and she believe it was me behind all this I feel confused, hurt, and distracted. I’m not even able to concentrate on my work because of all this.
We are not having direct conversations about this issue, and I feel like assumptions are increasing instead of clarity between us.
My specific question is: what is the best way to respond when a partner repeatedly suspects you of something you didn’t do, despite reassurance, in order to reduce misunderstanding and rebuild trust?
I would really appreciate any advice or perspective on how to deal with this situation calmly and responsibly. thank you.
TL;DR: My (28M) partner (25F) believes I’m behind anonymous hate comments on her Instagram, even though I don’t use social media. She has accused me twice and it’s affecting my mental focus and our communication. I’m looking for advice on how to handle repeated false suspicions in a relationship.
4 comments
It’s telling that she is taking ambiguous information and making negative assumptions about you. Definitely a sign she doesn’t trust you.
If you don’t want to make the situation worse, make sure you treat her with respect and give her whatever space she seems to want.
Pushing her to talk to you will most likely backfire.
You are finding out the hardest things about trust – it is usually hard to gain, easy to lose, and you can’t usually prove you haven’t done something.
It sounds like she may have some serious stuff to deal with. Focus on your own life and issues.
What did she say when you asked why she thinks you would do that?
>We are not having direct conversations about this issue, and I feel like assumptions are increasing instead of clarity between us.
You need to have direct conversations with her and get clarity. There’s a reason why she thinks it is you and you need to find out why. Like ask her exactly why she thinks it would be you and why she doesn’t believe you.
Why does she think it’s you?