Hey guys!

I found out a few months ago that my husband (who has a DO medical degree and is in residency for radiology) has been telling all of his friends and family that I have borderline personality disorder. He has been telling them I have 8/9 on the test, but I took that same test and gave a 2/9, not only that but I have a licensed therapist who says I don’t have BPD instead I have anxiety. My husband has been telling everyone this while we were separated for a few days. Now I’m not sure how to be around his friends and family, I don’t want to stigmatize it, but they have been treating me differently and I know they have been talking behind my back saying it’s “sad I can’t see it.” I’m not sure how to move on from this, or what the next step should be.

For context my husband hits walls and threatens suicide when we fight. Our marriage counselor has told us that if anyone has BPD it would be him.


6 comments

  1. You know legally he can put you in a mental hospital. I knew someone that did that to their wife. Be careful girl, Id get a divorce If I was you.

  2. Yikes, red flag. Were you separated as in a trial separation? Time to make it permanent

  3. As a physician, this is very alarming to hear. There is no “test” for BPD, not one that can diagnose you. There are assessments that help trained professionals come to diagnostic conclusions, but no ‘test’ can diagnose a personalty disorder. I hope you don’t stay with this man, he doesn’t sound like he has BPD, it sounds like he has WORSE.

  4. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Based on what you wrote and your other comments, you know you want to get a divorce. That man is not going to change and he’s probably said so much shit about you. He seems like the type that would be even more of a dick going through divorce. I recommend get all your plans – lawyer up and start divorce proceedings and see about possible annulment, place to stay, money of your own, have at least one friend or family member to help you through this. Remember everything he thinks and says is a projection. I hope you can move back to beautiful Australia!

  5. Jesus, sounds like your husband is projecting. That is such an oddly specific and serious accusation to give out that I’m afraid for you. He doesn’t sound safe or sane

  6. My ex-husband used to say to people that I was manic depressive. I lost all of our mutual friends in the divorce.

    Thing is, I wasn’t actually. I was just being mentally and emotionally abused by a selfish, selfish man.

    You should perhaps speak to an attorney in case your husband tries to get you hospitalized. I don’t know what you can do to protect yourself from that, but start documenting at the very least.

    Stay safe, OP. Loving partners do not throw their spouse under the bus like that to other people. That is not normal or respectable behavior. Since leaving my ex, I am more like myself than I have been in a long time and I am in an actually loving, respectful relationship that has shown me just how messed up my marriage was. Again, what he did is not normal.

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