How are you not scared of the possibility of serious harm, including assault or even murder, when it comes to one night stands?
February 14, 2026
Asking this not in judgmental way but out of pure curiosity, as a fellow woman.
34 comments
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I think that’s a fear we all have everyday as a woman doing anything
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I guess every woman is scared..
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It’s always in the back of my mind, but we can’t live in fear all the time. That way I wouldn’t go out, go out at night or do other things. P
The benefit outweighs the risk for me I guess
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It is there. It’s also a part of the thrill.
One night stands, within marriages, walking down the street.. anything could happen at any time. It’s important to stay vigilant.
I guess I go very heavily on vibes and trust my gut. If I feel what I’m doing with who is fine, it probably is. The trouble comes if you ever ignore the instinct.
The only time I tried them was when one of those could be the option. So I do see it as pretty self deprecating even if your sex positive. But also people have good casual sex sometimes lol
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I don’t engage in one night stands
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I am scared. Statistically however, long term partners are the ones who cause more harm/kill their girlfriends/wives, so the chances you’d get killed by a one night stand is probably lower than that with a partner, still pretty high though, so I am scared. Growing up with a father who would threaten to kill everyone in the house also added a little razzle dazzle to my *fuck It* attitude.
Enough women aren’t
I think I didn’t look too much into things until I was very badly assaulted to the point of I wondered if I would survive the night. Now I’m incredibly cautious and make it known from the get go that I don’t move quickly. So I wonder if the people who invite people into their home from the internet / participate in what I see as risky behaviour, if they’ve never had anything bad happen before.
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Riskin it for the buscuit.
To be honest i made the same post a few months ago, im curious to know as well. It just seems like an impossible thing as a woman.
For some reason I have been SA like a dozen times out in the wild , and never in one night stands.
Cost/Risk eval? There’s inherently risks in everything we do. I’m more likely to be attacked walking my dog at night; while living in one of the “most dangerous cities in the US.” I think most women use common sense precautions to mitigate/reduce the possiblity of harm. Telling friends, meeting in populated places, getting addresses/photos/phone numbers, etc. There’s always fear and the “check in” after.
I think statistically speaking more women are killed by their partner than by a one night stand.
Because I can control myself and dont want to go to jail.
As a woman, it’s hard not to live in constant fear so it’s definitely a valid feeling. But, if you’re letting that fear consume you all the time, you miss out on opportunities and new connections. But never ignore your intuition. If you’re getting bad vibes, it’s best to avoid it/cancel. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do💝
I have never had a ONS because of the fear he’d assault me or get violent. I’m 5’2, not strong, and the little pink pepper spray in my purse wouldn’t do shit to a guy with motivation.
My friends who are really into casual hook-ups always justified it as they gave the guy a good vibe check and he seemed cool. But it just takes one guy who isn’t cool to realize how dumb that is. Many of my friends who were heavily into ONS stuff in college stopped by the time they graduated for that exact reason.
That’s why I took them to my place. If the vibe ever felt off (it never did, fortunately), I know where my knives, wasp spray and shotgun are located. If I didn’t like them after talking over a couple of beers, it didn’t happen. Show me pics of your goofy dog or from your hiking trips. Show me you are what you say you are. Good vibes often led to good sex.
It is very unlikely to be harmed by a stranger.
I always think about it. When I’m going on a first date I insist on a public place. Every man I meet is automatically on thin ice with me: guilty until he proves he’s innocent.
Statistically, women are most likely to be murdered by someone they know, particularly a member of their own family.
Edited to add: men are more likely to be murdered by a stranger.
That’s why of the hundreds I’ve enjoyed they have always been in our own guest room with the door open. My husband can hear, watch and he’ll always do clean up if the FWB wants it. Then the guy leaves and I drag my husband to our bedroom to thank him for his understanding. I’ve never worried once.
34 comments
[removed]
I think that’s a fear we all have everyday as a woman doing anything
[removed]
I guess every woman is scared..
[removed]
It’s always in the back of my mind, but we can’t live in fear all the time. That way I wouldn’t go out, go out at night or do other things. P
The benefit outweighs the risk for me I guess
[removed]
It is there. It’s also a part of the thrill.
One night stands, within marriages, walking down the street.. anything could happen at any time. It’s important to stay vigilant.
I guess I go very heavily on vibes and trust my gut. If I feel what I’m doing with who is fine, it probably is. The trouble comes if you ever ignore the instinct.
The only time I tried them was when one of those could be the option. So I do see it as pretty self deprecating even if your sex positive. But also people have good casual sex sometimes lol
[removed]
I don’t engage in one night stands
[removed]
[removed]
[removed]
I am scared. Statistically however, long term partners are the ones who cause more harm/kill their girlfriends/wives, so the chances you’d get killed by a one night stand is probably lower than that with a partner, still pretty high though, so I am scared. Growing up with a father who would threaten to kill everyone in the house also added a little razzle dazzle to my *fuck It* attitude.
Enough women aren’t
I think I didn’t look too much into things until I was very badly assaulted to the point of I wondered if I would survive the night. Now I’m incredibly cautious and make it known from the get go that I don’t move quickly. So I wonder if the people who invite people into their home from the internet / participate in what I see as risky behaviour, if they’ve never had anything bad happen before.
[removed]
Riskin it for the buscuit.
To be honest i made the same post a few months ago, im curious to know as well. It just seems like an impossible thing as a woman.
For some reason I have been SA like a dozen times out in the wild , and never in one night stands.
Cost/Risk eval? There’s inherently risks in everything we do. I’m more likely to be attacked walking my dog at night; while living in one of the “most dangerous cities in the US.” I think most women use common sense precautions to mitigate/reduce the possiblity of harm. Telling friends, meeting in populated places, getting addresses/photos/phone numbers, etc. There’s always fear and the “check in” after.
I think statistically speaking more women are killed by their partner than by a one night stand.
Because I can control myself and dont want to go to jail.
As a woman, it’s hard not to live in constant fear so it’s definitely a valid feeling. But, if you’re letting that fear consume you all the time, you miss out on opportunities and new connections. But never ignore your intuition. If you’re getting bad vibes, it’s best to avoid it/cancel. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do💝
I have never had a ONS because of the fear he’d assault me or get violent. I’m 5’2, not strong, and the little pink pepper spray in my purse wouldn’t do shit to a guy with motivation.
My friends who are really into casual hook-ups always justified it as they gave the guy a good vibe check and he seemed cool. But it just takes one guy who isn’t cool to realize how dumb that is. Many of my friends who were heavily into ONS stuff in college stopped by the time they graduated for that exact reason.
That’s why I took them to my place. If the vibe ever felt off (it never did, fortunately), I know where my knives, wasp spray and shotgun are located. If I didn’t like them after talking over a couple of beers, it didn’t happen. Show me pics of your goofy dog or from your hiking trips. Show me you are what you say you are. Good vibes often led to good sex.
It is very unlikely to be harmed by a stranger.
I always think about it. When I’m going on a first date I insist on a public place. Every man I meet is automatically on thin ice with me: guilty until he proves he’s innocent.
Statistically, women are most likely to be murdered by someone they know, particularly a member of their own family.
Edited to add: men are more likely to be murdered by a stranger.
That’s why of the hundreds I’ve enjoyed they have always been in our own guest room with the door open. My husband can hear, watch and he’ll always do clean up if the FWB wants it. Then the guy leaves and I drag my husband to our bedroom to thank him for his understanding. I’ve never worried once.