Update: I got her number and told her everything. She asked for me to send her everything. So I did. She also told me is currently pregnant. I feel terrible for her. I was just told that she ended things with him, at least this won’t happen to her again. And he blamed me for it. Was not my fault.

I’m not sure where to put this, I am not married but apparently he is.

He made me the one thing I never wanted to be. He lied and when I found out he said he didn’t tell me because he wanted to keep talking to me. He planned a future with me. told me how much me missed me and me loved me. Then one day just scrolling online and found pictures of him, his wife and kids and a wedding ring on his finger. My heart sunk. I know he had kids but was told and thought he and his wife were separated and not together. I’m not a home-wrecker!!! Now I feel that he made me one. I did not know and now I feel like shit. I can’t believe how dumb I was to believe this was real. Should I tell his wife so she knows she is being cheated on? I understand that will affect the relationship and time he gets with his kids, but doesn’t she have the right to know? He did it with me, so he will probably do it again with someone else.

I have been in her position before and I wish someone had told me and not found out way later. He put himself in the spot but I just don’t know if I should forget about it and move on or inform her of the type of man she is married to and then forget it and move on.


32 comments

  6. She deserves to know whom she is trusting with her marriage, and even if everything is on the table, you might think about your role and your situation with that man. If you don’t want to be a homewrecker you must walk out.

  9. Tell her because you know you would want to know. If she chooses to stay it’s her choice. But just as he made choices, she deserves to also have the information to make her own choices.

  12. Yes, you should tell her. She deserves to know. Otherwise, it makes you complicit in this affair.

  13. As a married man, yes, you should absolutely inform his wife. It’s cruel at the least to not tell her.
    Fucking tired of these weak ass cheating ass dudes.
    And when, men, and women don’t stand up together for the right causes and the morale obligations required to be a decent fucking human. You don’t deserve forgiveness, especially when you’re already with a good partner.
    If a man cheats on his spouse, the same fuck face also cheats his closest friends..that’s a fact in life we all will learn eventually.
    Anyone that knows anything about me, if you call me a brother and cheat on your woman..or man. Your partner knows you’re cheating on her..another fact

  14. Tell her. She deserves to know. It will hurt but she deserves the chance to decide her future. I’m sorry that happened to you.

  15. Bring the receipts, sis. When I was involved with a liar, his wife (whom I thought was his EX wife) didn’t believe me. This, sadly was before smartphones and screenshots and texting. Tell her but be gentle.

  16. Yes 💯 always follow girlcode and tell her. Send her screenshots for proof and let the evidence speak. Anything past that is on her.

  17. He’s a scumbag so please make sure you protect yourself after this. He may want to retaliate because you’re exposing his double life.

  20. Tell her. She deserves to know. People make major life decisions like getting pregnant, changing employment, buying or selling property based on the notion that they are in a good relationship. She needs correct information.

  21. He may have hurt you, but the reality is he is hurting his wife sooo much more. Tell her. You can’t control how she takes it or thinks of you. Be honest, but you definitely need to tell her.

  24. If you have been in her situation before like you say then you know what to do in your heart

  25. I’m a guy. I’m also polyamorous, but everyone I’m involved with obviously knows I’m involved with other people as well. Everyone consents.

    His wife didn’t consent to this. She deserves to know. I absolutely ABHOR cheating in relationships.

  26. Honestly I would just cut all communication with him and move on with your life. Do not involve yourself in someone elses relationship more than you already have. You need to protect yourself, you never know what he may do to you if you tell her and ruin his life

  27. Tell her and make sure you let her know that you had no idea he was still married until you saw the Facebook. That he lied to you. And don’t feel guilty about blowing up his life, that’s on him

  28. Honestly I would just cut all communication with him and move on with your life. Do not involve yourself in someone elses relationship more than you already have. You need to protect yourself, you never know what he may do to you if you tell her and ruin his life

  29. Honestly, I would cut ties with him. His wife is not your friend. She also may not believe YOU. You are the enemy, not him. And, yes, women think that way. Because they want to believe their spouse would never cheat, unless they were tempted by someone else. They will create excuses in their heads.
    I would just break all ties. Let karma happen or maybe he will snap out of it and straighten up.

  31. It’s obviously over for you so, Yes she needs to know. BUT don’t tell him! Let her have the space to figure out what she wants to do without him pressuring or guilting her.

    And both of you ladies need to get tested. Who knows how many he’s been playing!

  32. this is one of those painful moments that teaches u how important truth is. u didnt become this person by choice, u were misled. The biggest lesson here is that lies dont just hurt one person, they ripple out and effect everyone involved. Whether u tell her or not, let this be the moment u choose honestly, boundaries, and self-respect moving forward

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