Me(20F) and my ex(22M) have been together for almost two years until january this year, when we broke up. Our relationship has been good during the first year, he treated me really well, he was caring and a really good boyfriend overall.
However, during the last year we were together, he s been absolutely terrible. He broke up with me 5 or 6 times because of nothings, he got mad at everything i did, he told me so many mean things which to this day affect my selfconfidence. I stayed with him during this period of time because, as stupid as it sounds, I tried to understand him, I tried to reason with him to go to therapy, I tried to talk to him calmly about how we could solve our issues, but he never listened.
Finally, in january, he broke up with me and that s when I decided that this time it s gonna be for good. However, we kept being friends, because we knew each other way before our relationship and we have been there for each other during our darkest moments ( i was there for him when his father got sick, he was here for me when my dad died) and we didnt want to end our friendship, since we both still cared and loved each other.
Now, in april I went over to his house to hang out and I had to go on his laptop because I had to send an email and my phone wasnt working. He allowed me to go on his laptop and told me the passcode. While he was away, I just couldnt resist going through his messages on Whatsapp and messenger. I know it s wrong, I know it, but i always had this feeling that he was cheating on me, but I never gave in to it because I thought that I am crazy.
But I was right. He has been cheating on me for almost half of our relationship. He messaged random girls, sexting with them, giving them compliments, talking about his life and thoughts with them, telling them he was single. That broke my heart. I was so sure that I m done with him. I told him then and there to never talk to me again.
However, he continued to text me. He tells me about how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, about how he is gonna be patient with me to rebuild my trust, about how much he hates himself for treating me the way he did, and that he would do absolutely everything for me to give him another chance, even if he had to wait years for it to happen. Now he goes to therapy and is trying to work on himself.
I feel so mad because I see the way he ttrats me now, and I just cant understand why did this whole drama and traumatic experience, to be honest, had to happen for him to realise that he actually does want to be with me? Why? I feel like I would betray myself, after all that I ve been through, just to risk being hurt again.
Do people like this change? What should I do? It s like there s a part of me which wants so badly to see this version of himself that he keeps talking about, and there s another one which is convincee that he had many, many chances to prove himself.
TLDR: my ex bf(22M) and me(20F) had a difficult relationship, because he treated me really bad. Now he wants another chance. What should I do?
P.S.: sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.
2 comments
FFS, just NO. And stop being “friends.”
Don’t give him a second chance. People like him often change for a couple of weeks and then go back to being their true selves. Don’t waste time with him.
Stop having him in your life. Stop being his friend.