I’m 22f and I have always had this issue on sexual relationships in which I would have an orgasm very easily at the start of the act but then I couldn’t reach a second climax. I get stuck. In fact I get tired of sex and want to stop just after I get the first one, but of course I don’t say anything to not bother my partner. It’s very frustrating because I really would like to enjoy it, most of the time I really wanted it before hand but I just can’t. Does anyone else have a struggle with this? What can I do?
TL;DR: I am just able to come at the very start of sex but then I can’t get anorher one and I get tired of it
6 comments
I mean most women don’t even reach one consistently so probably won’t be taken well for some people….but anyways probably should consult a doctor rather then reviewing advice from random people online.
I was like that for a long time and I traced it back to having issues with my body image and SA. Once I became totally comfortable, I found I was able to relax enough for more than one.
Edit: by comfortable, I mean I felt safe.
Men get a pass to act like this all the time.
A lot of women are capable of multiple orgasms, but the first one is usually exhausting and you have to slow down and build up to achieve another one. Most people I know can’t just keep doing the same thing at the same pace if they want another one.
Each individual orgasm, at least for a lot of people I know though not everyone, has to be tended to lol. It sounds dramatic when I put it like that.
I’m not a doctor or even a sexual health expert, just a woman with presumably similar anatomy and a lot of experience with orgasm, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I don’t think you have a sexual problem or that this needs fixing.
Also PIV sex is not the only way to have sex. You have a lot of other tools available to you. Including language! Talk to your partners or potential partners. “I tend to orgasm quickly if I’m having fun. When this happens, I stop enjoying penetration (find a word that is flirtier and less clinical. No way to kill a mood quicker than being too clinical lol. It’s just the most neutral term). Can we think of other ways for you to enjoy yourself too? What do you like? How can we make this fun for the both of us?”
I think some people don’t realise you can withdraw consent at any time. Is it inconsiderate to withdraw consent once you’ve got what you wanted every single time regardless of your sexual partner’s wants and needs? Yes. But you still have the right. It’s not, however, inconsiderate to communicate and talk things through. You’re not broken and you don’t need fixing. You just need to talk to your sexual partners.
You’ll probably get more informative answers at r/sex
Do you pause after the first orgasm or just continue as if nothing happened? What exactly happens after the first orgasm?