We’re best friends for maybe 3 years now and used to do things together all the time. We’re also long distance friends. She became busy with school and volunteer work and other things recently to the point where she says she’s so busy that there’s no time for her to spend with me. Everyone should stay busy but I would try to make sure I can spend a decent amount of time together. Our interactions have been reduced to her leaving me a few messages a day, and not saying anything some days. The good news is that she says once school is over with, she’ll have plenty more time to do stuff with me. But in its current state, I’m not quite satisfied with how little time we’re spending together, and I wouldn’t be okay if it remained this way forever, which it shouldn’t.
It can also be noted that she’s recently become very close with another friend. I’m very happy they found each other. She still considers me her best friend, and I think she considers them as a close friend. She has a special and different bond with each of us.
What could be considered the status of our friendship? Does everything seem fine and healthy? We have already talked extensively about it.
TLDR: friend doesn’t spend much time with me anymore. Is our relationship okay?
7 comments
it sounds like you two have a bond still but that your lives are pulling in different directions and there is less overlap to spend time together.
Find something to make you busy.
This happens over time. It can be sad but it doesn’t mean you or she have done anything wrong. People change and go their separate ways as they grow older.
Friendships ebb and flow. You cant reasonably expect to spend hours each day with a person forever. People have their own lives, jobs, partners, children, other friends. Sometimes they are less buisy and sometimes they are more. Especially when you are nearing your 30s you will find that you have less and less time to spend with friends just shooting the shit. Its just life, and it happens to most people.
Your title says it all, if she’s busy she has less hours in the day for socializing.
For instance, maybe she only has a few hours between getting home from her day at work or school and when she has to go to bed. Well that leaves time to eat dinner, maybe do a load of laundry or whatever chore has to get done, shower and go to bed and do it all over again.
Feeling kinda negative vibes from this subreddit
Talking a little on most days in a long-distance friendship isn’t really that bad, especially if the situation is temporary; you’re still very much in touch, and it sounds like she genuinely has other things on her plate.
Pressing the issue after she’s given you a reasonable explanation is more likely to stress her out than make her willingly talk to you more.