I made a previous [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/comments/umuggu/the_girl_ive_been_dating_now_wants_to_be_fwb_what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) a while back on my situation and how it got to this point, but a short summary is;
after dating for a few months, my 26f partner told me 19m that all along she’s seen us as FWB when I saw it as a committed relationship. I won’t take all the blame and I won’t give her all the blame, but it absolutely hurts. I haven’t seen her in person since (with the exception of our run ins at work where she DOES give me quite the affectionate hug every now and then) and I fear I’m losing my now “friend”, as well as the benefits. I’ve always had a disconnect with the other person both physically and emotionally after a breakup to try to move on, usually with a successful reconnect and friendship a while down the line when we’re both ready but this feels different. We didn’t break up, but rather came to an agreement (not easily at that) with what we were and I’m having a hard time pocketing those feelings. I feel like an ass, a jerk even because I no longer text her first. I also have attempted to ask her to hang out, as this is her last week of school, next week but she still says “we’ll see”. How do we have benefits if we can’t even hang out, and how do I just be her friend with the emotional connection and feelings still there?
Like I said I try not to text first and usually she will reach out after about a day of silence even if I left her on read, but we only chat for a couple of minutes a day now and it hurts. It’s been working lately and it even feels a little more involved and like she genuinely is thinking of me but I don’t want to seem desperate or like all I can think of is her or rely on her for my own happiness. I miss her, I want to tell her I miss her so we can hang out, but I feel like I’m holding out deep down for a connection that won’t ever happen. It’s a shitty situation and as much as I like her and the affection/attention it feels wrong to keep trying at this point. I only get it from her if I ignore her and pretend to be uninterested, but I also feel like deep down asking her to hang out comes off as desperate and pushes her away because she won’t say yes anymore like when we first met. How do I sever my emotional ties and be okay with the fact that we could never meet up again or even just be okay with not texting her all day and not having her on my mind?
2 comments
So you’re just sitting there with a With?
It really depends on what she wants. By the sounds of it she wants something VERY casual and you can’t seem to drop the wanting for it to be so much more. If the relationship styles are that different then they’re going to conflict badly.
When you ask to hang out are you honestly wanting to just hang out as friends or are you wanting it to be romantic/sexual? She might just see you more as a booty call at this point and she’s not calling. You’ll just have to ask yourself if you’re okay with this type of relationship. By the sounds of it you aren’t. This might be all it ever is.
You like her allot more than she likes you. There is no way to simply turn off how you feel man, just doesn’t work that way.
I personally feel you are setting yourself up for more hurt by staying with her in any sense. You want a relationship, cut ties so you are free to pursue one.