Hi everyone!
I have a friend who is Vietnamese, and we both live in the U.S. She makes me Asian food from time to time, and I want to reciprocate in some way because she is an amazing cook–way better than I am, lol.
She has shared that many Asians like to cook for family and friends, but I want to respond appropriately. I don’t want to do it just because she cooked for me, but because I want to share. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to reciprocate her kindness?
29 comments
A dish that is popular from your state/city or a family favorite recipe
Something meaningful to you. Maybe something from your region that actually know how to make?
If you don’t already know how, don’t make baklava lol
The best way to respond is to cook something. Find out what she likes and try to find something.
I would definitely lean into “it’s the thought that counts” here. It doesn’t have to be as amazing as hers, just made with love and cooked enough to not make her sick.
Check in with r/Cooking for recipe recommendations
Don’t try to cook Vietnamese food. You will fail to do it justice. Make something that is your culture that you think you can do well.
Vietnamese seem to love BBQ oysters. Make those, and some BBQ ribs, or chicken. Or maybe a pan fried catfish.
Invite her over for a nice homecooked meal.
Make something you can make well and that you like, just as your friend most likely is.
Don’t limit your reciprocation to food! For an example, if you have a hobby/skills of wood carving, maker her something!
I have a friend who loves to cook. I take her out to dinner at a restaurant to reciprocate because I don’t like cooking and am terrible at it.
Cook whatever you’re best at cooking. If you don’t know how to cook, shrimp scampi is delicious and extremely easy. Assuming nobody has gluten or shellfish allergies anyway lol
If you’re not confident in your cooking skills maybe take her out somewhere that she hasn’t been. A nice museum or whatever’s fun in your area.
When in doubt, make a casserole. Anybody, even someone who has never successfully scrambled an egg, can follow directions on a casserole recipe and make something incredible. Plus, they tend to be pretty cheap and feed a bunch of people.
I don’t know why people are so focused on cooking a your-culture-version of whatever she made. Or even being focused on making her something.
I mean both of those things are fine if that’s what you want to do but you’re certainly not obligated to do that. Personally, I’d just recommend thinking of something you think she’d enjoy. It could be food, sure, but it doesn’t have to be. Anything showing you care and appreciate her cooking is appropriate – that could be food related, an experience, a gift, or whatever.
I have 8 Vietnamese SILs. Yes 8.
They will give you food until you die from it lol.
Reciprocate with anything that is your deal. Anything you can do.
Otherwise they do not care, they will continue to feed you until you die.
I don’t see why you wouldn’t cook for her in response, though it might seem more like a date at that point.
If you can’t cook, do a wine and cheese/sharkcoochie pairing… You can look up good pairings, and it’s not difficult to put together.
Many non-Americans (not looking at you, Canada, you guys share this one with us) are fascinated with our odd breakfast culture. Have her over for brunch! There is nothing easier than drop biscuits, white gravy with seasoned pork sausage (uncased and reasonably high quality), mimosas, and a fruit salad with a honey-mint-lime sauce. You’ll get friend points for the time you take prepping the fruit, and no person I’ve ever met from Asia would turn down seasoned saucy pork in a carb casing. Mimosas are two ingredients, ratio is up to the drinker. You won’t fail.
Maybe instead of cooking take her out for traditional American activities. My first thought are harvest activities like apple picking, pumpkin carving, haunted houses and haunted hayrides.
But a big ‘ol American BBQ/grillout in the summer would be cool. A day tubing down the river with a cooler full of drinks and everyone having a blast. Picnics in some of our national parks. State fair trips.
Winter would be to go to a Christmas wonderland with hot cocoa and skating. Or maybe a sleigh ride!
Asians love fruits as gifts!! You can buy them by the box at the Asian supermarket. My Vietnamese parents love Asian pears, mangos, and persimmons. If they drink, Hennessey is popular in Vietnam.
Make a Cajun style shrimp boil. American, but popular with Vietnamese- they’ve helped innovate it here in New Orleans, Houston, all the way to California. It’s communal and fun.
Look up “Boiling Crab recipe”.
Does she have any special interests or does she collect anything? Do you have a crafting hobby? Get her something she’d like or make her something yourself, doesn’t have to be food.
ETA you could also treat her to a movie or a dinner to a restaurant or something as a thank you
My wife is Vietnamese and after we married I was already an accomplished cook and she loved my gumbo and still does and my Italian meat sauce and any time she wants to entertain company she has me cook one of them but especially the meat sauce.
Since then of course she has loved many other dishes I make but definitely any Cajun dish is a fave of hers and her other Vietnamese family and friends.
If you want to really impress her though do a crawfish boil. Vietnamese can’t get enough of it and it is really easy to do.
If you have access to a Weber grill, charcoal, hardwood, and a Boston butt, you can make some fantastic pulled pork. Pair that with some Vinegar and Pepper or some Lexington sauce or some Carolina Gold, and you’ve made a nice barbecue. It’s not difficult, but if takes a long time.
Roast a chicken, it’s stupid easy. Use whatever version from this you want https://www.seriouseats.com/perfect-roast-chicken-recipe-8384377
1.) Get yourself an oven thermometer so you dial in the temp without fussing. Here’s one for $20 https://www.amazon.com/ThermoPro-TP-16-Thermometer-Stainless-Standard/dp/B017613C3C
2.) Toss some aluminum foil under the wire rack and put some carrots or potatoes under there with some olive oil. All the fat from the chicken will drip down and kick ass and now you have a full meal in one pan.
If this takes you more than an hour or $20 you’re doing it wrong
If you want to reciprocate with food, you could always use this: https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/the-easiest-loaf-of-bread-youll-ever-bake-recipe
Honestly you could use anything on king Arthurs website, they have great easy to make recipes.
Cook her some family recipes.
Baking something would be a good way to go, mostly following directions and measurements
Ask her if she’s curious about trying a specific “American” culinary delight. Go from there.
Just invite her over for dinner? You can invite other friends too. You could make it a potluck party so everyone can share something or cook everything yourself. It is totally normal to share food you cook.