This may not be an uniquely American problem but I feel like there’s too many people complaining about being single, for there to be so many single people. Does that make sense?

25 comments

  2. Just because there are single people around doesn’t mean you want to date them or that they want to date you.

  5. When you have a third of a billion people (oh no, I hope my use of a fraction instead of a decimal doesn’t send a non-american into a coma), 1% of the population is still over 3 million people, which is a lot. So if 10% of the population were single, you have about 33 million people to potentially air their grievances about being single.

  6. Dating has always been complex, but dating has become exponentially more complex in this high tech digital world.

  7. The dating pool in my location and age group is abysmal. I’m single because the options are bad and I’m not going to settle for someone just so that I’m not alone.

  8. If a million single people are complaining that they can’t meet anyone but all spend 95% of their time either at work or at home, I’m guessing they’re not going to be able to meet each other in order to go out.

  10. I sort of agree. And it is not a uniquely American. I am an American living in Japan. Same thing here.

    I am Gen X and married, so I can’t say I fully understand the dynamics but a couple of comments –

    I see a lot of people seem to over-rely on apps. Like meeting someone in a store or starbucks or walking down the street (how I met my wife) is impossible. I don’t think it is.

    Secondly, I find it really amusing to watch youtubes of women and men comparing their dating requirements to statistics. That’s a good watch!

  12. Hey if you know any 35-45 something women with questionable judgment and are single tell them to contact me. Bonus if they like kids and Catholicism and hipster music. Double bonus if they have a large house in southern Maine and like guys cooking for them. I can resolve their complaints.

  13. To get away from the more contemporary and cynical commentary in this thread there is an Historical perspective worth considering.

    We’re far from being a truly “egalitarian” society, but fwiw, “Women’s Education” is to “blame” for why American society in recent decades has seen an increase in divorce rates, and a decrease in marriage and children.

    When a woman can provide for herself, pay her own bills and has her own money, she has less of an incentive to marry at 16. Or stay in an unhealthy marriage or relationship. Or have children young, when maybe she’s pursuing her career goals first.

    Ive never dated anyone who was as dependent on me as my grandma was to my grandpa. That’s a good thing.

    So why are more people “single”? Because your partner doesn’t “need” you in the same ways that societal dynamics have worked in generations past.

    If you want to blame anything for disrupting “traditional gender roles”, blame Capitalism.

  14. I’m 78 years old. In my time, older singles were uncommon. They were often assumed to be closeted gays. Nowadays, lots of people are single or divorced. There is not the social pressure to marry like there used to be. So people are less willing to give up their “freedom” for a less than perfect partner. Or so it seems to me as an old codger with middle aged single “kids.”

  15. I’m a single woman in my 20’s, and since I’m at least average I could throw a rock and find a man willing to go on a date with me.

    But the problem is I’d only want to date a man who’s fun to be around and kind with similar goals and values to me. That’s much harder to find, and I’m happy enough single so I’m not going to settle.

  16. The people who are happy being single probably don’t feel the need to tell everyone about it – thus skewing your perception of how many singles are happy vs unhappy.

  17. What people don’t understand is that socializing is a skill that you have to practice. And everyone had a huge interruption in their practice during the epidemic.

    Some people weren’t that good at it to begin with and now they are screwed. Others got worse at it so now it’s much harder to date. And that goes for men and women.

    Then you have all the other society issues. Like men falling behind women in graduating college which makes men less desirable than in years past. Very little support for men’s mental health issues. Online and app dating instead of meeting people in person. And on and on

  18. People are less willing to compromise and quicker to move on. Everyone knows there’s a billion other choices out there. For better or worse.

  20. I’m happily single. I don’t subscribe to the theory that there’s supposedly someone for everyone. I really feel like there’s nobody for me. I’m fine with that. So there are probably like a million mismatched people out there. Like we’re all a bunch of lost socks.

  24. I’ve known many wonderful people that were lonely and wanted more friends that I couldn’t convince to “take a chance” and reach out and meet other wonderful people that were also lonely and wanted more friends…so yes, your question makes sense to me.

    Not a uniquely American problem in my experience though. Have found that with people from around the world. (Granted, I’ve gotten to know that about all of them that I have met in the U.S., but they weren’t all citizens if that makes sense on my end.)

  25. It makes sense if you consider:

    * Many aren’t making dating a priority
    * Many aren’t putting in the work to make themselves more attractive (working out, having hobbies, career advancement, not being an asshole)

    Then you have dating apps that are better for hookups than finding a long term partner while approaching people in person is generally being discouraged (for better or worse).

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