Hello!
I’m currently in a challenging long-distance relationship situation and could really use some advice. I’m based in Portugal, and my girlfriend is in Spain. We’ve been facing quite a few communication issues lately.
Here’s a detailed breakdown of what happened this past week:
– **Saturday**: She called me, and everything seemed fine. She mentioned going to a party, and I wished her well.
– **Sunday**: I texted to ask how the party was and if everything was okay, but received no response.
– **Monday**: Concerned, I texted again to check in. She responded, “Yeah, now everything is okay.” I asked what happened, and she said, “Nothing important.” I also tried calling her, but she rejected the call. Later, I learned that she had experienced panic attacks that day and had to seek medical help. She didn’t share this with me at the time, which left me feeling out of the loop and concerned.
On top of this, she expressed jealousy over an Instagram post I shared. I had a meal with a female friend (purely platonic), and she got upset. I reassured her, but she still seemed unconvinced.
Today, she suddenly told me not to bother coming to visit her next month in Spain, a trip we had planned together. Later, she sent a voice message saying she’s open to talking to see if we can resolve our issues, but also stated “if not, so be it.”
Most of my friends believe that ending the relationship might be the best course of action for me, given her instability and the way she’s been treating me. I’m feeling lost, hurt, and confused.
We’re scheduled to talk tonight, and I want to approach the conversation with honesty, while also giving her space to express herself.
Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this conversation or insights on the situation? I’m really in need of some guidance. Thank you in advance.
1 comment
When we talk about your girlfriend’s supposed ‘instability,’ based on your post, we are talking about 3 calendar days – during which she has suffered a medical episode. And so both perspective and context are important.
As you say, it needs a conversation and for you to listen to her concerns.
More generally, and to the advice of your friends and family, where do you actually see this relationship going? Because, if it is a long-distance relationship without a plan – I’d incline to the advice you’ve already received: ie breaking up may well be the best thing for both of you.