Tl;DR
I 29 (f) and my boyfriend 36 (m) have been dating officially for 3 months we met at work. He does rotations, and I work steady days. His childhood friend also works with us but in the office. I’m not typically the jealous type. So when my boyfriend and I were seeing each other on the down low, I made the effort to befriend, let’s name her Chelsea. At first, it was going great. Until we officially became an item. She began to nit pick on everything I did and would pull tantrums if things did not go her way. The first time she lashed out at me, I concluded that she was just having a bad day. As time progressed, things just got worse. She started talking down to me like she was my superior and as if I was simply incompetent. I spoke to my boyfriend about this, and he assured me that should she try something, he would stop it. I trust him, but I also know he is oblivious to women flirting or making a pass at him. What bothers me the most is the fact that she mistreat others who associate with me. I’m at a loss on what to do. Should I just leave it be, or should I confront her?
Side note: she’s only nice to me when he is around.
4 comments
You all work together and she is his childhood friend? She clearly feels possessive over him and he is definitely aware of it. The “her treating you nice when he’s around” is a classic catty-mean girl move. To be honest, I would assert yourself to her without getting over-zealous or passive aggressive. Just mirror her behaviors to you, unless she *is* your superior, professionally… In that case, just file a complaint (since it is an abuse of power).
How involved is she with your relationship? Why would she have a say in “anything” if she is not also his girlfriend? That’s whats going on, you feel like you are competing with her emotionally even though they are just good friends. Regardless, imo, if you continue on with him- he should recognize these patterns of behavior from his friend, as long as you keep your cool and don’t bring it up (he will think you’e being jealous and crazy).
You’ve only been with him 3 months, so the relationship is new to him. The best thing you can do is be yourself and not give other women power over your emotions through your bf. If you get more serious with him, in time, he will for sure prioritize you over other women in his life… If he doesn’t, then boy bye.
>I spoke to my boyfriend about this and he assures me that should she try something he would stop it.
Should she try what? Making a move on him, or further insulting you? If its the later, then surely he should be doing something to stop it right now.
The way she is treating you is NOT okay at all, and if you expressed this with your boyfriend, he should be the one to understand your feelings, and do something about it (since she is HIS friend). He should not be dismissing the fact she talks down on you, and others associated with you, and throws tantrums and makes you feel inferior. Why is he not doing anything about this right now? Why is he waiting till it gets REALLY bad?
Perhaps she’s upset that you’re dating one of your supervisors. That is incredibly compromising.
Um, you’re dating your supervisor?!