If your partner wanted to have sex and you declined, how would you react if they became visibly upset and agitated, and kept up the angry behavior until you had sex?

48 comments

  2. We would never be having sex, and they would no longer be my partner. I would leave them immediately. Anyone who tries to manipulate, coerce, and threaten someone into having sex isn’t a safe partner to be around. I would cut them out of my life. The need for enthusiastic consent for sex is an absolute hard line boundary for me. Anyone who doesn’t respect that is not a safe person, and I would not choose to be with them. I’ve been in abusive relationships before and that kind of behavior is an instant deal breaker for me.

  3. I’d tell him to stop behaving in such a childish way, if it was daytime I’d leave the house, if it was nighttime I’d set myself up in the spare room. Either way I wouldn’t be having sex with someone that’s angry and demanding it.

    If it was a regular thing for them to behave that way, the relationship would be over.

  4. They’d be angry the rest of their lives, because that’s NOT how you have sex with me! Awful!

  6. Break up. No one should be coerced into sex when they don’t want to. It’s sexual abuse.

  7. That’s rape, babe. Nothing else to it.

    Let’s say it like this: My partner wouldn’t even get to the “kept up the behavior until” part, because I would break up with them the second they became angry about me not wanting sex. And if they kept insisting after that, I’d break their nose.

  8. I have a high sex drive and I can only think of one time I told my partner I didn’t want sex (felt sick) if he had reacted in anger, sulky that would have been the end of the relationship

  10. That’s sexual assault by coercion, and the relationship would be over. I’d also warn other women about what an abusive sack of shit that person is.

  11. I would end the relationship. OP, if this happened to you and you gave in to the sex you were raped. You said no and that yes wasn’t consensual.

  12. That’s manipulation and it will not be tolerated.
    Being the partner with the higher libido, if my partner says no, I just have to take some personal time.

    I would have a talk with them about it because that’s not okay. Like if it becomes a pattern, you need to leave out.

  14. I can’t think of a less appealing way to try to get someone to have sex with you – e.g. being entitled, coercive, and angry. It would be a relationship ending event for me.

  16. This happened to me all the time in my relationship when I was 19-21. I didn’t realize what it was at the time. I just wanted to keep the peace. One time he punched the mattress next to my head because I wanted to stop. So I had to keep going. That was 10 years ago and even though I have a wonderful partner now, it still haunts me.
    If it happened now, I’d end the relationship that second.

  17. That is a real quick way to get dumped… emotional manipulation is a shitty thing to do

  18. Break the fuck up. The correct response to not wanting sex is “I’m disappointed but that’s a totally valid answer. Love you.” Getting angry is not appropriate

  20. I’d ask if they were serious. If they doubled down that would be the end of the relationship.

    Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for everyone involved. It’s not a chore, it’s not a duty. That’s why all parties have to consent. When one party isn’t in the mood then there’s no sex. Trying to force sex (in whatever way) is rape.

  21. I would physically remove them from my place and lock them out. Never see them again

  22. leave him/her. I don’t need a fucking toddler for a partner, it will always be like that.

  24. That’s straight up rape. What the fuck is up with all these posts lately about men thinking they’re owed sex whenever they want as if by some divine right??

    He’s using intimidation and coercion to get you to have sex and that’s never acceptable. Even if you say yes or let him fuck you just to get it over with or to diffuse the situation, it’s still rape because you are not actually consenting. Call the police, get a rape kit, and get away from him. It will only get worse. It always gets worse.

  25. I would assume something else is going on because that would be very abnormal behavior for my fiancé, so I would sit down and have a talk with him.

  26. My ex did this because it had been a few weeks since we had had sex. I was under a lot of stress with a new job and just not feeling very horny. I politely declined his advancement and he rolled over and pouted. It was fuckin’ hilarious. Oh boo hoo, you grown man. Needless to say things didn’t work out (for many reasons). Guy was a walking red flag

  27. I would also be visibly upset. Do you really want sex so bad that you don’t care about my feelings? Are you really trying to change my mind? Manipulate me into giving you what you want? Are you really going to do that, you sicko? My body, my decision! If you need to get off, you have hands! And don’t you dare touch me with those hands until I welcome it!

  29. That is coercive rape so I would end the relationship. In fact I did with my ex-husband who did that to me.

  30. Haha, I would tell him to go get it elsewhere if he needed it that badly. Honestly I am way past sex being the major need in my relationship (thank god). Move along partner…

  32. Happened to me. The thing is it worked, I caved in every time. Glad I’m not in this relationship anymore.

  34. I went through this with my ex husband. It started with mild disappointment, but after we had kids, he’d be a huge jerk if he wasn’t getting sex as often as he wanted. Thrn how often he wanted it actually escalated.

    I was so determined to not live in a dead bedroom situation, I made sure we had scheduled sex twice a week. Anything additional to that was supposed to be great if it happened, but fine if it didn’t. But then I started getting in trouble for weeks we didn’t have sex. Those weeks were due to periods (his choice), medical procedures I’d had done, and travel for work. That man even got pissy with me for asking for a rain check when I’d traveled 4 hours for work, worked all day, and then traveled home.

    He had me believing there was something wrong with me for not being ready for more. Fortunately this wasn’t our only issue, and I got divorced.

    Any man that has a negative reaction to me not being up for sex going forward, for any reason, jist won’t get to hang out with me again, period.

    Coerced sex is rape. Being a raging ass-hole to get your way is coersion. Begging and badgering until someone gives in is coersion. Telling someone you have “needs” that another person has to fulfill is coersion.

  35. That would be a dealbreaker. I’ve dealt with enough angry – as in, it feels dangerous to be around them – men for a lifetime. If my partner did it we’d no longer be partners.

  38. Well, I’m ashamed to say I put up with it for years before finally leaving my ex. I would never put up with it again.

  39. I consider it shit behavior and he could either apologize and if he does not the relationship will end . I do not and will not tolerate behavior like that from anyone .

  41. I’d probably break up the relationship. Who wants to be with someone like that?

  42. I would react by breaking up with them. They clearly have zero respect. Hell to the nah

  44. Had this with my ex and I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t have the maturity or experience to recognise how manipulative it was and ended up either letting him have sex with me or giving him a blowjob whenever he reacted negatively to my refusal🤦🏻‍♀️

    Thankfully my current bf would never behave like that and fully accepts my boundaries but if he didn’t I’d be either putting hims straight or leaving the relationship these days.

  46. I would leave, this happened before & I was too stunned to be upset at him so I just up & left

  47. It’d be extremely out of character so I would want to know what was going on immediately and without a good explanation leading to how we can avoid this ever happening again, the relationship wouldn’t work. He‘d stay mad forever, I‘m not attracted to tantrums.

  48. Fuck that shit. I expect disappointment but a full out tantrum like a two year old? Nope.
    My husband isn’t a jerk so not an issue.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like