(23F) I’ve been dating my boyfriend (24M) for almost a year now. Before things started getting serious I had to have a very serious conversation with him about me having sugar daddies. I never had sex with my sugar daddies I mostly spoke to them , went on dates and sent them pictures. ( it wasn’t based on a sexual relationship. And I mainly just had 1 guy I was talking to) I was earning quite a bit just talking to/texting my SD but my BF told me he was extremely uncomfortable with it so I eventually had to stop. Tbh initially he told me that it’ll take him some time to accept it, that it’s my side business and as long as I’m not fucking anyone it’s alright. But a few weeks later it turned into something he brought up every time we fought, so clearly it bothered him and we both agreed and decided to stop my sugaring once and for all. Now 6 months into the relationship things are starting to look better and getting more serious as we’ve tackled through alot of hurdles by now. A random day I just felt the urge to go through his Instagram and twitter following and it was mostly just OF girls. Like 70% of the people he was following were OF accounts or OF girls. I was shocked .
I told him that I was v uncomfortable by it and asked him to start unfollowing. He had posted me on his social media as well so I told him it feels off that anyone who follows him can see that he’s following all these girls.
He opened up a little later that it was an obsession that came onto him a few years ago and he couldn’t stop. He would ( especially during covid -acc to him) scourge the Internet to find pictures and videos of OF girls that’s been leaked and he can access for free, he’d even share them with his friends.
He told me that he grew less motivated to do all that after getting a job and other responsibilities to take on but that he still has a soft spot for the OF models, the personalised content. Even went so far to say that he thinks he might be a nympho and he can never not think about sex.
We’re currently not living together and we’re both working , which meant the amount of time we get to see each other weekly isn’t alot.
So I told him that I’d increase the sexting and the nudes I’d send him. I also said that I’d be open to all kinds of suggestions he’d like to make .
I’ve always known that he’s a bit more sexual than I am , I’m not intimidated by it , I kinda like it , I liked dressing up for him or making videos with him , etc.
My only request was to unfollow all of them.
It just felt so icky, there were SO MANY of them and none of them even remotely looked like me or have my same body type – Nothing.
After a series of fights he finally stated that he’ll remove them all , but that in return he needs me to send him pictures and videos with the OF typewriting on top of the pictures and videos with my Instagram handle. Is this normal? Can I consider this as just a kink? Should I be worried? I see way too many posts of men who are obsessed with OF having some other sort of underlying issues.
2 comments
This is ridiculous. He gets uncomfortable with the Sugar Daddy stuff. You get uncomfortable with the OF stuff. Either they cancel either out or you two have a very difficult future.
Also, your ‘side hustle’ involves much more emotional/intimate (may be from your SD’s side, but still) factors than him looking at OF stuff on Tweets. That doesn’t even involve money.
Dump him. He clearly has a double standard and I wouldn’t tolerate unfair double standards.