I’m 26(M) and I have a 28(F) girlfriend which is my fiancé . We have one kid together. At the beginning of our relationship it was great and I was able to be dominate and feel like me when we had sex. We have been together for almost 3 years now. For the past year every time I have tried to initiate sex I would be turned down and sometimes she would get mad at me later that night for not trying to initiate again. When I do initiate or we get into it. All she does is criticize me. She wants me to touch certain spots and certain times and I’m not a mind reader. She tells me I suck at sex and I don’t please her. When in fact she orgasm sometimes 2-3 times and I’m so stressed out I can’t orgasm or I got limp because over the year I can’t be in the moment. She complains the entire interaction. It has hurt my sex drive dramatically. She even tells me her ex’s were better than me etc. I have been with other people before; before I met her so I’m not inexperienced. I feel overly restricted during sex and I simply can’t enjoy it. I tell her time and time again about how I feel and she just gets more and more angry. It got to the point where we didn’t have sex for a few months. I got so desperate to orgasm that I had to watch porn, and I rarely did that. She noticed and got even more mad at me. I feel like shit… and I feel unmotivated for have told her this too and all she does is complain.. I don’t know what to do or how to go about this? I need some advice!
6 comments
So she’s allowed to have these emotions and make you feel like shit but you’re not allowed to feel hurt by it? That’s kind of fucked up. Why doesn’t she just sit you down like a mature person would and communicate with you without putting you down? I wouldn’t ever want to have sex with somebody who tells me I suck at sex or their ex is better than me. If that’s the case go be with your ex lmao. She needs to do better and grow up and express her issues with you in a nicer way
In my past relationships, I would have all these ‘preferences’ with partners (basically like you’re saying, only touch me here don’t kiss me there etc etc). Ended up being a way for me to create a divide between us so as to soften the blow when we would break up… I didn’t realize I was doing this until years later, but I don’t have any of those preferences with my current partner because they were never real.
Time to stop asking for sex. Stop having sex with someone who doesn’t respect you.
Devil’s advocate here, how old is the kid? Does your GF have PPD? Are you an active father and partner?
I know my wife’s libido was GONE for a few years after childbirth and asking for sex was akin to asking her to jump into a volcano.
Do the two of you need to have a moratorium on sex for a while? Rebuild the emotional relationship first?
Nah, break up and just do coparenting.
As a woman, you don’t need anyone pulling your self-esteem down this way.
Whether she’s had a child or not,in some cases after women have had children, their sex drive disappears for a little time, and on worst-case scenarios, it may never come back.
But the way she’s treating you isn’t good enough,no one deserves that.
I don’t care how stubborn she is,sit her down and have a heart to heart with her,let her know if this doesn’t change that you’ll move out and would be fine coparenting.
I feel like she doesn’t respect you.
Yes, you’re younger than she is. She knew that when you guys first got together, why is she treating you like you’re clueless in pleasing her now,when she never complained before.
In all honesty, I’d leave her.
It’s time for a new girlfriend.