TL;DR: Mom trauma dumps on me. I’m overwhelmed and slowly grow resentful.
Since I am an adult, my mom trauma dumps on me about the same things pretty much multiple times a week now. I’m not gonna go into details, as her trauma is not my story to tell.
This is so difficult for me for multiple reasons:
1. I have my own trauma but when I tell her it’s sort of being dismissed as “life is tough, get over it” (that’s simplified of course)
2. I struggle with ADHD and depression, which costs enough energy already
3. She was emotionally unavailable when I was a child, which is why it’s super awkward and I feel like I’m frozen when she basically spills her feelings and worries, etc.
I’m glad to help and support, but it’s getting to the point where she’s repeating herself regularly and I can’t do anything about it. She had a “tough love” upbringing and it definitely was abusive, but I no longer have the energy to listen. I no longer feel like her child, but like her best friend/therapist. that’s not my role and, despite not wanting that **at all**, I’m slowly growing resentful.
How do I deal with this situation and how can I stop the resentment before it’s too late?
2 comments
Setting boundaries is important for both of you. Suggest therapy for her as well.
God I’m going thru the exact same thing. Exact same childhood. She was abusive.
I just avoid her now.