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i have a friend who is a complete mess mentally right now.
just came across their hinge profile.
“new here”
I’m not sure yet but I’m starting to think tiktok and Reddit might be ruining our relationship
Is it normal to have deep intense feelings of loneliness at certain hours of the day? For me it’s usually in the afternoon and at night before bedtime. In the daytime I can usually combat it by keeping myself busy with work or working out. At night it’s much harder. I’m mostly introverted but I do see friends every 2 weeks. It doesn’t fulfill the loneliness though. They really can’t understand because they’re all in long term relationships. I also have a pet but it also doesn’t fulfill. I mostly crave the intimacy, cuddling, inside jokes, sharing experiences, doing mundane things with a partner.
My dating apps have dried up. My hobbies are all things that are done alone. I don’t want to join a new one for the sake of trying to find someone (like rock climbing for ex) and it seems like my only social option would be to go to a bar but I don’t want to constantly drink and spend money. Feel like I’m at a loss.
Going to meet „lukewarm guy“ for the fifth time this afternoon. It will only be a quick meet up as during the week I want to go to bed early because I need to be up very early but he said he wanted to see me since waiting until the weekend would be too long. It’s nice to be wanted, especially since I’m not feeling my most attractive right now.
Reposting this because unfortunately I’m really looking for support and I’m fighting back depressive symptoms. Thank you.
— For those who have been following my story, this isn’t an update but more of a coming to terms with what’s going …
I’m in a fairly new relationship (6 months in) and it’s pretty obvious the guy is getting *pretty* comfortable. He is no longer putting forth as much effort, and honestly he appears to be less physical/emotionally intimate or available. I understand that the “honeymoon phase” termination happens at or around this timeframe, but for me, I can’t help wondering – what the fuck happened, and how do I bring this up?
He has become less affectionate after appearing smitten with me for the last six months. We went out with his friends on a hike and, during that time, he walked ahead of me quite a bit. We haven’t had sex in two weeks. He says he is exhausted, both mentally and physically, so I want to believe that… but it feels like rejection when a man begins avoiding sex. Also we usually texted throughout the day, and he has been cutting back to minimal texts. Edit: I think the most painful thing has been this. He promised he talked up how he was going to make me something for my birthday (not to give my identify away, I won’t explain how, but the guy makes nice stuff as a hobby). That was two months ago. Since then he has made a (nice gift) for a female longtime friend, and (nice thoughtful things) for (insert family members here). I gave him a photo of us. Never put it up for display.
On the other hand, he’s taken me to see his family, has taken me out, and has offered to hang out (so no slowdown of plans/intentions to see one another). It is confusing and tormenting.
I am trying to unlearn this negative thought pattern that I’ve experienced all of my life – “Something must be wrong with me” or “I am just not loveable”. Instead, I am trying my darndest not to cry or kick myself for believing that for once, I met someone who might love me. I’m trying to reframe my thoughts by asking myself, “Is this okay for me?” Or “Is this what I deserve?” I have strong feelings for this man but I can start sensing that wall coming right up in retaliation.
One of our fellow redditors recommended that I speak with him soon, have a talk about what I’m noticing to see where his head is at. When I have tried, he reassures me that it’s work and that he is trying to regain his sanity by taking it easy (not doubting that for a second). I am just trying to figure out how to cope and address this directly with him without becoming overly emotional or appearing overly sensitive. We have a trip this weekend, and I’m really nervous to see how this goes.
I’ve never dated a woman with kids before. I’ve been seeing her for about two months. but I think I’ve only seen her 6-7 times. Usually once per week on the weekends because she doesnt have her kids then. However it’s now happened a couple times where obligations with her kids has prevented us from meeting up- and we won’t see each other for 2 weeks. It really sucks. We text throughout the day, but not obsessively. And talk on the phone now maybe 2-3 times a week. I really, really like her. Best woman I’ve dated in a very long time. But fuck it’s a drag to wait 2 weeks. I hope it gets gets better as time moves on, but I really don’t see how until I meet her kids and thats a very long time away.
Is the discord fun/useful?
Looking for thoughts on this:
Had a great first date with a guy (32M). Great conversation. He asked me if I would like to come back to his place. Watched a movie, cuddled, and did the deed. I left somewhat awkwardly super early in the morning as I had to be somewhere. But let him know I’ll text him. He seemed very enthusiastic throughout.
Texted him after I got home that I had a great time and would like to see him again. He said he was busy this week but will plan something soon. Then sent him my number so we could switch to text but he hasn’t responded at all since. Is he soft-rejecting me?
Met two people via OLD over the long weekend. Both were quite peculiar experiences and I’m still unsettled by it all. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m gonna go old school and meet people in the wild for now. I’m relatively new to town and will join a bunch of hobbyists groups and continue to volunteer more. Surely, my social circle will increase which could also lead to potential romance.
About those recent OLD experiences…The first experience was a date I suggested of bonfire at the beach. It was lovely at first and full of laughs and exchanging ideas. As the night drew to an end, he told me he was going to wine and dine someone in the coming days and probably won’t see me again, though he said throughout the night that he really enjoyed my company/wanted to see me again. He said that a bonfire on the beach was something he only did with me because I’m “not worth the investment”. He said I’m not settling down material, just good enough looking for sex. Soon after, he said was sorry and said things he should not have said, things he didn’t mean and that those words probably hurt me.
The other experience…He kept trying to convince me mental illness does not exist and kept bringing up his distain for his parents who bought him an apartment. He texted me at an odd hour of the night afterwards, telling me he should have forced his penis in me after I declined sex, that I probably wanted to be dominated.
So I (30F) did something that’s outta the norm for me and slept with someone from work (thankfully it was a short job so nothing crazy long term). Totally different department to me and our paths are unlikely to cross regularly.
The extra out of the norm part for me is that he’s significantly older than me- around 25 years or so. He wasn’t even the type that looked younger than his age but it didn’t bother and I had a really good time. What’s bothering me is that since then we just haven’t really spoken since the job finished and he has my number. I don’t think I gave off desperate vibes after- just a desire to continue what we left off. Albeit we almost nearly got found out (I wear a microphone which was accidentally activated during a particularly nsfw convo but no one heard anything). I don’t know if that’s scared him off. Or maybe that I actually want to have sex with him again. I don’t know. I know I’m roughly the same age as his kids. He’s also not married and has been divorced for quite some time.
I just feel a little sad which was an emotion I wasn’t expecting. I thought that because of his age he would be more open to communicating his expectations etc. but that’s not the case. There wasn’t even a goodbye. I know it was only the once but the impression I had from him was that we’d talk and meet up again.
Am entirely in love, feeling loved and appreciated by my boyfriend.
4 mo going strong. He’s gentle, caring, smart and looking good.
Now he found the Reddit account of a former friend who I did an online hobby with. That guy got feelings for me and when I tried to let him down gently it just combusted and I had to cut all contact and leave: gaslighting, manipulation, guilttripping he did everything to get me to be in a relationship with him.
That guy is now portraying me as an ‘emotionally abusive ex who lied and cheated on him’. It was a friendship and I was blind to what in retrospect were blatant red flags.
My boyfriend knew about the guy because he operated under the same handle in Reddit as the hobby.
The former friend has made at least 8 posts and numerous comments condemning me to hell and calling me an abuser because I had no interest in a clingy boyfriend who’d guilttrip me if I couldn’t be online for more than an hour and who had inappropriate talks to me about his body twice where he gaslit me into believing it was for empathy and he wasn’t wanking on a call but sighing…
I know I should trust my boyfriend as he knows the story and I ended my friendship with that creep around the time we got serious, my boyfriend was the one to convince me to drop the guy from my life.
Reading those posts I don’t recognise myself in them but it hurts and I’m afraid it will leave an impact on my boyfriend.
We talked about it and he knows what type of man this is but still…
Went on a first date with a girl on Sunday and it went great! Seemed like a genuine connection and ended with great kissing. Now how do I not screw this up? 😜
I’m supposed to see her again next Monday, but haven’t ironed out the details yet. Any ideas?
And how much texting between now and Monday? Obviously I need to actually tell her the plan for the date but beyond that I mean.
We both also have really busy weeks and both appear to be looking forward to seeing each other again.
Note to self:
*So let it be what it’ll be.*
*Don’t make a fuss an go crazy over you and me.*
*Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll play loose.*
*It’s not like we have a date with destiny.*
*It’s just a little crush.*
*Not like I faint every time we touch.*
Hey – I’m a skinny short ethnic minority in one of the biggest cities in Europe. I appreciate this puts me naturally towards to the lower end of the dating pool as a guy.
I don’t really care about gaining weight or muscle myself, not that important to me and confident in my appearance anyway. I do wonder however, does going from skinny to gaining muscle / being in better shape visually and physically make a significant difference in dating + online dating success? That would literally be the main motivation
Even ‘normal’ dating, does a more muscular / in shape person fair better than a skinny scrawny person?
I thought this time round (back on the market since January) I would try to not immediately focus on one guy while dating but instead keep my options open and see how it feels, as I usually quickly get content with someone but the relationships don’t make it past 6-18 months. But now I had three lovely dates with my first match since I started swiping (crazy) and I am enjoying our time together, and I can’t bring myself to message another guy who just matched with me on bumble. Already feels like … Some sort of betrayal. Should I message and say I am not really available right now? Or should I push myself to have a conversation with them? Any advice?
Well, starting over again. Dated someone for about a month, and it just wasn’t doing it for me, although he was nice. Just not compatible in some key areas… and guys, the last time I saw him, he played his band’s own music while things were about to get hot and heavy…
Anyways, I accidentally downloaded Tinder again haha! Essentially I had a couple of texts in a row sending me a code to login, which I didn’t use to log in, but obviously I wanted to change my password if I had an active account still. So, swiped a couple of times, and matched with someone who I ended up meeting this past weekend. Ended up solidifying my decision to end things with the other person, and now I’m pursuing this. Completely random, but he has a good head on his shoulders and we have quite a few values in common, and both want long-term relationships. So, we’ll see. Slow and steady.
I guess I’m ranting/panicking.
My bf of 6 months is a widower. This is my first serious relationship. Everything is going well, but the fact that he hasn’t introduced me to his family is bothering me. He’s met my friends and some family. His family is back in his home country and I think his closest friend is online. He moved and studied all over for work. I understand making local friends is tough. Anyway, I’ve brought it up that I’d like to meet x family member and he told me I’ll have to visit his country. I’m just wondering why it’s so hard to FaceTime or something? I just want to be acknowledged in this way.
I guess I’m just scared he isn’t fully ready and is keeping me a secret. He’s close with his FIL and I know none of them know he’s dating again. I just feel like garbage when I think he must feel guilty trying to move on and isn’t fully emotionally ready for me.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I really like him but this hurts. I understand that this likely isn’t about me, but it makes me feel like I’m not good enough. I never even imagined I’d care about meeting someone’s family/friends after being single for so long. I’m happy he’s in my life, but this is always in the back of my mind. I’m wondering how else to approach the situation.