I just recently got out of a toxic relationship and am going through a rough time trying to move past it but im starting to see glimpes of myself coming back mentally and physically so I am starting to get better.
Now ever since my breakup my parents and my sister have been telling me about this girl I went to high school with and how much they like her and think we would be good together. I also worked in the same place as her for about 9 months and she recently quit to get a better job that happens to be where my sister works, over at a bank. There was a day my parents needed to go to the bank to get a few things done and they only know spanish so I went to help them and I saw the girl there and she waved hi to me and I did the same back. My sister saw from across the room and a week later we had a family reunion and my sister started talking to me about the girl, she told me she started teasing the girl about me after saying hi she said she told her “I can see you as my sister-in-law” and then asked her if she finds me attractive and she admitted to saying yes, supposedly from what my sister said but idk if its true honestly, I feel like she is out of my league and I would have no chance. My parents know her only because they knew her mom because they all used to work together and my mom specifically really wants me to try to get to know her and get with her and oddly enough my dad too and thats rare for him to say any of that kind of stuff. My sister also said she would help set me up with her as well. Im not sure if I should try to get to know her or even if I do how would I? I have heard a few things about her in high school that I dont really like but now she seems much more mature.
Tl;DR: Family is trying to set me up with a girl, not sure if I should go through with it.
5 comments
My advice would be to make sure you have healed from your last relationship. Don’t rush anything if you are not ready. You said you can see glimpses of your old self. Make sure that if you do date this girl you are doing it because you are ready and not feeling pressured to get back out there too soon.
Are there cultural factors here? Cos usually when people declare one is a new relative, it’s a sign to run away from the clingy people. Also cos the whole family is involved here.
You’re 19. You also just came out of a relationship. There’s a lot of life still to experience. Find someone who’s compatible. You can get to know people, but don’t involve your family til you’re serious cos they’re planning weddings. That’s a lot of pressure. Tell your parents you’re not ready yet and just see if your friends know some interesting people and see how things go there.
Unless this is a non-western culture it’s a date, not a marriage, mate. Forget leagues. Ask for her number, ask her out for a coffee, no big deal if it doesn’t work out. Try to have a good time, and again, if you don’t click it’s no big deal. If she’s not interested, again, no big deal right? You don’t know her well enough to say “I want her to be my girlfriend”. The date is what will help you find out.
What do you have to lose by getting to know her?
Don’t let the opinions of others cloud your judgement – if you’re unsure, take it slow and get to know her first.