I am so confused. This guy I have been dating has told me he can’t causally date me until I’m ready to be in a relationship. I recently got out of a relationship two months ago, and I’m not ready to jump into a relationship right now. I told the guy I’ve been seeing that I would like to exclusively date him, but he says he can’t do that. He said he really likes me, but he knows that he can’t be the person I want right now. He said he can’t casually date, and be affectionate with someone unless they’re ready for the next step. This is completely understandable to me. I told him that’s fine, but I want to at least still be in some form of contact until I am ready. I want to continue getting to know him, and not just not speak at all. He said that he would still talk to me, and he texts me from time to time. He will say he misses me if I tell him I miss him, but it’s just confusing to me. Why can’t he just talk to me? And get to know me? I don’t want to speak so rarely when I actually really like him. He knows how much I like him too. It’s very confusing. help.
TLDR: The guy I’ve been dating says he really likes me, and wants to be in a relationship with me one day. I am not ready to be in a relationship right now. He doesn’t want to go on dates with me until I am ready for a relationship. I don’t get why we can’t just talk and get to know each other now??
3 comments
I think his stance makes sense. He doesn’t want to get invested in something that has no potential. You have said you’re not ready. You don’t know when you will be ready. It might be next week, next year, next decade. And when you are ready, you may or may not want to be with him. So, he can’t put his life on hold for you, and he doesn’t want to get too invested in something that doesn’t even exist.
Just take your time and don’t worry about what happens with him, since as you said – you’re not ready for a relationship yet anyway. Focus on yourself. Get ready. See what options you have when you are ready. But you can’t expect somebody to act like they are in a relationship with you when you tell them you aren’t ready for a relationship.
This post makes me feel icky. You’re giving off some strong entitlement here.
YOU don’t want a relationship now, so he doesn’t want to be in contact. The audacity you have to say “no I don’t want to be in a relationship, but you have to keep entertaining me until I do” is incredible.
You want to be exclusive with him, but not in a relationship? What do you mean by that?