Hi all, just thought I’d post in here to hopefully get some advice because I am really stuck in a situation I have no idea to get out of…
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 5 years, recently bought a house and puppy and started our family. I love my girlfriend with all my heart and I admire her work ethic general outlook on life, she is lovely.
The last 6 months or so there has been no sex at all, which is pretty unusual. Before we were having sex maybe 2-3 times a week and no there is absolutely nothing, I feel like I shouldn’t get agitated about this but I am. For example the other night we went out for drinks, both got drunk, there was a few flirty comments about what would happen when we got back home so I tried to initiate when we got into bed and she just completely shut it down.
After she had done this I got out of bed and slept on the sofa, I admit this isn’t the right thing to do but it just brings me down and stresses me out.
5 comments
Have you talked to her calmly and in a non-accusatory manner about it? Is she stressed? Depressed?
Yeah you got to have the talk. It’s a tricky conversation to have, but at some point someone has to acknowledge the elephant in the living room. Be prepared to ask and answer specific questions about likes, kinks, boundaries, attraction. If she’s avoiding intimacy because she’s lost attraction that’s an issue. Is it at all possible she’s having an affair?
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Relationships that lack communication don’t last, full stop. You and she have fast tracked your lives in a way that might ultimately blow up in your faces. But you can at least attempt to have the kind of free back and forth that makes adult relationships function. So talk about it.
The most important conversations are the most difficult and awkward to initiate. Given your ages and length of relationship, I’d guess that you both might likely harbor thoughts of being with other people, which is normal and to be expected. Especially given the level of domesticity you’ve established already. The big question for you two is this enough? It’s early to even begin to answer that question.