We are together for few years. I was sick and told my boyfriend i was going to eat some soup instead of cooking together. We cook together every night as quality time.
My boyfriend said to me he wanted me to go together to the supermarket and that he would make dinner for us. So i went, even when i was not feel well.
When we got home he said he would like to make dinner together. I kind of felt guilty and said yes i will try. (He kept asking and i did not have the energy to have a disccusion about it). After few minutes I noticed i needed to stop. I told my boyfriend and went to my bed.
After a few minutes, he came to the bedroom with a cutting board and knife. He wanted me to cut the vegetables, so i still contributed to the dinner. He reasons: ‘he did not want to do it all alone’, ‘if i was not here, you still had to make dinner for yourself’
I told him I did not feel like eating.
Did i do wrong by going to bed and cooking while I was feeling sick?
Edit: my boyfriend posted [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/10fasai/so_wrong/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
If you want to read his side. He said sorry after reading the comments. Then i wanted to have advice on my story from mt perspective
Edit2: thanks everyone for your advice :). Some people think this situation is fake. That also shows me how weird it is how he reacted. I was kind of confused about what he did and maybe i was overreacting because i was sick and tired. I do not think he did it on purpose, or to ‘harm’ me. But it is still a situation to talk and think about
33 comments
No further comments besides yikes … Is he always like this?
Does he have no compassion at all?
If the tables were turned would you even remotely consider doing this to him if he was ill?
I am a little confused why you’re second guessing yourself. This is not okay. I mean I could understand if he thought that you really wanted the intimacy of working on something together as a couple, and was worried you might miss out, but that isn’t what happened. Even in that most charitable of interpretations it would have been on him to ask if you wanted to participate in some way. Because hardly anyone would want to. Not to mention it’s just a little dangerous.
No his reason is he doesn’t want to do it all by himself. That’s messed up. He should be finding ways to make you more comfortable in bed. He should be getting you something nice.
Your bf posted this too
Internet mom here. Sweetie. The red flag is waving. A good man would have been asking what he could do for you. This is actually awful. Please don’t allow yourself to be treated like this.
For situations like this I like to pull out the old “is it a pattern of behavior, or a one time fluke.”
I get the feeling that if he was always like this, you wouldn’t be saying you have had a good relationship. You are young, he is young, we all temporarily lose our minds sometimes and do something stupid like this. I was about that age when I decided to test my wife by making her a grilled cheese with mayo even though she said she doesn’t like it. I almost destroyed my marriage over a condiment.
If he is willing to learn and grow, and it seems he realizes he did wrong, that seems reasonable.
It’s hard to believe that this kind of story is real. No Way.
OP, I hope you are feeling better now and that one day you will find a good person who is more sensitive, understanding, and caring and who understands the basics of human relationships.
He should let you rest, go to the shop, make dinner, and bring you warm soup to the bed instead of a cutting board. JEEZ.
I just read this to my husband, and please keep in mind that I work full-time and cook for the family every night alone, and every he realized how bad this was.
Listen, the cooking together for quality time is very sweet but for the love of God, if one partner is sick, the other can shoulder the “burden” alone.
Good lord is he really this dumb? You do not cut veggies in bed! You are sick he needs to back off! Wtf I swear if he was 10 this would still be rude! Your bf is not very good!
What a selfish dbag, he has no empathy or compassion whatsoever. Even a child can understand to let sick people rest.
His “if I wasn’t here you’d still have to cook” argument is bullcrap too. Someone pointed out in the linked thread that if he hadn’t been there OP could have just heated up a can of soup and relaxed in bed, NOT have had been dragged out to the store or forced to help make an entire meal that she was too unwell to even enjoy.
I saw the title and started cracking up! Not at you or your sickness……I hope you are feeling better…..but at the sheer ridiculousness of your man and the cutting board! Say what??? Girl……….your guy did you wrong with this one.
Why the hell would you stay with such a garbage human being? No seriously, how stupid does a man have to be to have to ask the internet if he is an asshole here?
Your boyfriend is a selfish idiot. When your partner is sick, you tuck them into bed and offer to bring them a cup of chicken soup, hot tea, box of tissues, cough drops, etc… Basically you take care of them. What you don’t do is bring them a cutting board and veggies so you can help make a dinner they’re not even well enough to eat.
I would have yeeted the chopping board across the room with last of my strength
Alright op I’ll be honest.
This seems fake, like you seriously expect us to not only believe such a bizzare move from your bf but than you also just happened to find a post your boyfriend made about this?
Definitely picking up some bait post vibes.
This didn’t happen. Your “boyfriend’s” post was literally removed for being fake
I’m sorry OP. But damn I can only imagine if y’all had kids and you were sick. It would be really bad. Do you ever think of that??
I don’t condone violence, but I am rolling at the comments in his post. people are saying that they would have hit him with the cutting board.
Why are you still with such a guy?
I read his story as well. I genuinely think he is part clueless about being sick and how it feels.
And that he has the need for strong patterns of behaviour that he doesn’t deviate from and doesn’t have an awareness that internally people being sick means – look after me and leave me alone at the same time.
It feels like he has a lack of empathy but not deliberately malicious.
I say this as a person who has an autistic person close to them and some of the ideas they come out with are kinda the same, like not understanding things but wanting to do the same thing every day.
If he was shown how to care for a sick person and deliberately ignored it and was annoyed that you couldn’t help him and was being off about you being sick, like you were deliberately not helping and leaving him to do everything and he didn’t like that. Then that is a whole other issue of being an AH with intent to harm and that would not fly at all.
You did nothing wrong but I wanna say I noticed two things
You said no but then “felt guilty” and said yes. It will help you so much to learn not to do that .
He brought you the cutting board to bed. Why didn’t you say no gtfo with that cutting board.
He’s really stepping on you but you don’t stick up for yourself
So he forced you to cook and guilted you into shopping even though you are poorly. It’s like he has no empathy in his body. If he really did not want to cook by himself he could have ordered a take away. Is he this clueless normally?
This whole “2 partners who happened to post on Reddit on the same day” trope is getting old. I doubt most of them are real, but incase this one is: Congratulations your relationship is too unhealthy to be true! 🥳
He sucks
Relationship over. Lmfaooo immediately.
Hate a tit for tat guy. Most unattractive thing. SMDH
Your boyfriend (if he’s not already your ex) is very strange, selfish and totally lacking in empathy. A good boyfriend would have warmed some soup and brought it to you in bed.
These posts sound like they were written by the same person due to writing styles.
You bring me a cutting board while I’m sick in bed, and there’s a really strong risk of you accidentally running into my knife ten times.
“No” is a full sentence.
He should have let you rest while he went to the store & cooked you dinner. He should have asked you what, if anything, sounded good & served it to you in bed. You mentioned above that you don’t know if he is always too pushy- I can tell you that he most certainly is based on his complete inability to see the situation through your eyes. I think maybe you are too used to going along with whatever he wants & he is too used to having his way all the time.
That’s not what “in sickness and in health” means.
Oof.
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