My [23F] friend [24F] has recently gone through a breakup with her boyfriend [21F]. I want to console her but the whole situation is complicated for me.
This is the second time he’s broken up with her on the basis of him not being ready for a relationship, which is fine I guess but I don’t like the way he’s gone about it both times. That’s beside the point though, the main problem is that she thinks this is THE guy and she’ll never find anyone like him again. Which just… isn’t true, she can definitely find a better guy than him.
She is desperate and constantly messages me about ways they could get back together or stuff about him and how she could text him for the holidays in a way that’s not *too* needy but shows she still wants to be in his life. She wants to keep him around as a friend at the very least but I know she will never accept only being friends with him.
The main problem I’m seeking advice for is that she wants to be consoled during this time and I want to console her, but she doesn’t want opinions on the relationship and I don’t want to support her thinking that they’ll get back together and everything will be fine. So it leaves me in a weird position, what do I say to her when she sends me those messages? How do I support her emotionally without doing either of those things?
tl;dr: Friend has been broken up with twice, she is desperate to make the relationship work. How do I support her without lying and saying I think it’ll work out?
1 comment
If she’s messaging you for suggestions, say you don’t have any. If she’s messaging you what she’s already sent him, say “keep me posted”.
I’d probably tell her you’re sorry she’s having a hard time, but what she wants is not more important than what he wants.