So yesterday my partner (31m) of a little over a year, posted a few photos of us to Facebook. I (21f) was not at all upset about it because I assumed he shared it to just his friends one Facebook, like the privacy setting to friends only. And then noticed it was shared to public and it made me slightly uncomfortable… Now I’m in no way trying to keep our relationship private. I just know how social media can affect relationships. And I’d choose to keep it away from people I don’t know personally on the internet. I ask for the same privacy from friends, family, coworkers, etc… it’s not just him!
1 had politely asked if he could make it to friends only, and he just deleted the post altogether and made a giant fight over it telling me that I’m trying to hide him from my
“other boyfriends” I don’t talk to men in a romantic matter and my whole heart belongs to him only. I keep my life private because I’ve dealt with stalkers and crappy people who have destroyed relationships in the past.
I feel so defeated. He truly made me feel like the biggest piece of shit on this planet all because I want to keep my life between him and I away from social media.
When we go out in public I’m all for the hand holding and showing people we are together and what not. I just like to keep social media to a minimal.
His family had messaged me asking me why he kept the post up for only an hour before it was gone again. I did not tell him to delete it I just asked if he could keep it to his friends and family. He had tagged me in it and I didn’t ask him to remove the tags because I’ll happily let my friends and family see the photos as well.
Am I in the wrong for wanting to keep my relationship private on social media?
TL;DR: Boyfriend got upset that I would like to keep our relationship on social media to a minimal and caused an argument over me asking him if he could change the post from public to friends only.
6 comments
You are not in the wrong and his reaction to a simple privacy request shows a high level of disrespect imo.
That’s a huge overreaction to a very reasonable boundary. I wonder how much other manipulative behaviour he gets away with for him to involve his family over this. There’s probably a reason why he went for a woman who’s that much younger.
I agree with you, your reasons for wanting social media privacy are normal and his reaction was pretty extreme.
Is he extreme in other ways too? Or does he just not understand the importance of social media privacy?
The fear of “other boyfriends” or that youre still looking at options needs to be resolved. You wont find peace until then with the SM stuff, etc. Hes feeling insecure about himself in the relationship.
you are just like me. i dont really use such apps for the very same reasons as your and more.
but i go a further step, i dont really take pictures, so people cannot “tag” me or talk about me publicly, maybe you should consider removing yourself from “the internet”, not for him, but for your own well being
His reaction is extreme and a red flag to me. You just asked that it be friends/family only.. a perfectly reasonable boundary. He seems controlling and possessive based on this post