I (25F) have a history of being a super self conscious person, but I’ve managed to get over the majority of that. One thing I can’t seem to get over, but badly want to, is the discomfort of having my husband go down on me. He’s tried several times in the past, a long time ago now, and I know he stopped because I would be so visibly uncomfortable or pulling him back up. But it felt GOOD. I just could never relax enough to really let him.
Its a super unflattering position obviously, but besides that, I’m constantly worried about what it tastes/smells like, if I’m taking too long to cum, if his tongue is getting tired and he’s just powering through – I make it completely unenjoyable for myself. Ladies that may have dealt with similar feelings, or men who have partners that have felt this way: any suggestions?
3 comments
OK this may sound a little weird but hear me out… you’re getting in to your head about this and so you’re not “letting” him do this even though it seems he’s in to it, and you like it, right?
So.. make it no longer your choice. Tell him to tie you up and he can do whatever he wants (please have a safe word!). I bet he goes to town. It basically “gives your permission” to enjoy it, because it’s not in your control any more.
Here is the deal (as a guy who loves performing oral and had a partner much the same as you) … if you partner keeps trying to go down on you, it means that he really enjoys doing it.
I eventually convinced my partner that I am a pussyterrian at heart, and once she finally got rid of her hang-ups (religious based), she now consistently gets orgasms from it and will literally just point and push my head down there or say “get to work”.
If all else fails, try a bit of alcohol (or weed if legal where you live) … it will help you relax a bit and get some of those uncertainties out of your head.
Just relax. I promise you that he loves going down on you. He loves your taste and smell. He isn’t getting tired. I could go down on my wife for hours. It’s the best part of sex for me and one of my biggest turn ons.