I (29F) went on amazing first date with a guy (36M) who lives out of state. We laughed, talked, drank and kissed – there was such intense chemistry at the end of the night. He told me he really liked me and will miss me (we got along THAT well). It was so natural and sweet. Truthfully, he has been on my mind A LOT.
Only thing is, he doesn’t live in my state and was visiting (2 weeks ago). He is back in my city but hasn’t reached back out to hang out yet. Although on date number 1, he couldn’t stop talking about wanting to see me again soooo badly. He even took pictures of us on date number 1 – haha. Kept telling me how beautiful I am to him etc.
Only coincidence is we are both out of 4+ year relationships earlier this year. So there is a fear for me to jump into something so intense again. I could perhaps imagine that for him too?
During the 2 weeks he was away, we texted but not often. But our responses were always a couple of minutes apart & flirty.
Should I reach out to him to see how he is doing in general or be direct and ask him out? Or wait to see if he messages me first? I kind of don’t want to ask him out because I’m old fashioned and quite submissive/traditional. He seems to be more traditional too – both our families are similar in that regard & we bonded well over this. He’s told me he really likes me and I really like him.
What are your thoughts? Move on or reach out to him?
TLDR:
Insanely amazing first date. We live far apart. He is back in my city- should I reach out to him, ask him out or wait to see if he does that first?
2 comments
If you want to see where this goes, and your open to moving way down the line if things did progress (ie it’s not a deal breaker if he wouldn’t move to you, because you can’t know what the future holds) be direct and ask him out. Or if you prefer, you can do the “so are you going to ask me out?” phrasing to make him say the actual thing, it’s still quite direct. That’s almost always the best course, but it’s definitely the best course when the only way this is going to work is to take advantage of the time he’s in town, you can’t just spin loose wednesday plans into sunday plans, or whatever, like someone who lives nearby.
If he’s back in your area and hasn’t asked to hang out, it doesn’t seem like a priority for him.