My date \[29F\] and I \[30M\] met at her place yesterday. The plan was to cook, but she ordered a bunch of Chinese food before I arrived so we ate it and lied in her bed watching TV. She was very eager to cuddle and pressed her body up against mine. I kissed her after a while, and we kissed for maybe 5 minutes pressing our bodies against each other and feeling each other up a bit (above the waist).
After about 5 minutes she gets a bit distant, so I ask if everything is okay and she says its moving a bit too fast and just wants to cuddle. So we do that. No more kissing. But she puts her head on my chest and grab my right leg with her legs really tight so that I can really feel her warmth. It feels good.
None-the-less, and I don’t know why, its not like anyone did anything wrong, and I have no problem moving slow at all, actually I did not want to have sex myself yesterday, but I just didn’t really know what to say after. To me, normally kissing and cuddling is basically the same. But it clearly is not to her.
I think we both got a bit self-conscious thinking but not talking about it. We cuddled and talked about other stuff for maybe 30 minutes but the awkwardness were still noticeable as I left I think. It was a weekday, we were both kind of tired and maybe a 2nd date in her bed was a bad idea.
However, I really regret writing this following text to her when I got home because it says nothing and gives nothing. Nothing to respond to and it was also kind of inconsiderate given she might feel awkward. Just before bed, maybe 2 hours later, I wrote: “Thank you for tonight, I hope you had fun. I did!”
tl;dr: Date told me we were moving too fast and it became awkward.
How do I approach her and make her comfortable seeing me again?
3 comments
Eh I’d say you didn’t do anything too horribly awkward. I’d suggest treating it like it’s not a big deal (because it really isn’t), and ask her out again, to somewhere away from home.
No problem with your text. If I was her I’d take it as you offering reassurance that things are still normal and you’re cool with it even though there was passing awkwardness. By saying you hope she had fun you’re also leaving room for her to express how she was feeling if she wants to.
If you hadn’t texted it would probably have extended the awkwardness as she’d have maybe been unsure how you felt after, maybe even have thought she’d screwed up by asking to slow down, and that whole “thinking about it but not speaking about it” vibe would have lingered.
I mean, now that I type this out, I think your text to her was actually pretty masterfully done!
Nothing awkward about it.
Ask for another date/meetup that’s in public not at your or her house and just have fun, no awkwardness. Additionally, if you start making out, tell yourself to enforce the “moving too quickly” and just enjoy the moment.