I don’t have the emotional energy to even type an explanation. I’m just so tired and even though I wouldn’t do it, part of me has been suicidal due to actual depression. I feel like that’d be easier than cutting ties with him. I live at his house, we have a dog, he bought me a car… Again I’m okay it is just… an awful way to feel.
8 comments
It is OKAY…
NOT marrying him and telling him why is so much better than actually doing it. I called a wedding off a week before and EVERYONE was supportive and told me ‘if it wasn’t right, you did the right thing!’
It’s okay to do the right thing; don’t worry about the living situation. Y’all can plan changes after you do what you need to.
It’s never too late to change your mind!
About the wedding that is.
There is definitely a point of no return when it comes to suicide.
Do you have a therapist?
If you’re in the States you can call 988 now. Even if it doesn’t feel like an emergency, they can direct you to other resources.
You can leave him. You can start over. Trust me. TRUST ME. Do it before you have to also jump through legal hoops. You’ll find somewhere else to live. Lean on your people. Things can be replaced. You’re one of a kind. You matter. Your life matters. Your mental health matters. I broke off an engagement. Yeah, it sucks. But you know what? So does being miserable in your marriage. I also got blindsided in a relationship and left by someone I lived with who freaked out and donated all of our belongings. Off topic, but.. the point is.. I didn’t think I’d survive. I did. I found a place to land. I rebuilt. You will too. There’s SO MUCH WAITING FOR YOU on the other side of this.
Do you have a support system? Someone you can open up to? As the days tick off it gets harder. I was in your place when I was younger. I kept feeling “this is more than cold feet, I really don’t want to.”
You need to tell one person you trust, now. If you can tell several people that you trust. You need to have people to help you right now.
The other stuff is nothing compared to the mess that divorce is. And the regret knowing that right now you had the power to pump the brakes.
Postpone or cancel the wedding. This is not how you should feel when you’re about to get married.
I’d you think you’re suicidal now, just think how you’ll feel years into a marriage you knew you didn’t want.
Listen to your gut and stop this now.
Just get married and have an annulment.
Honestly you should leave- but it sounds like he wants to trap you.
Imagine having the stress of kidd with someone you don’t respect.
I don’t recommend it.
Please, don’t get married at least not in 8 days until you are in a better emotional and mental state where you can make probably better decisions. You sound very exhausted and depressed and you need to take care of you right now. Best would be to postpone. But… hard to give you decent advice not knowing all the facts. But get help first, take good care of yourself.
If you are this miserable do you really think it’s going to get better after the wedding. Call it off and move out. If you wish to get into more specific things the. You are free to message me. But if it’s to the point you wish to harm yourself leave. It will only get worse.