how often do you feel age-related pressure?

23 comments

1. Only very occasionally, I notice too much general unhappiness in those who have a lot of societal expectations. Misery loves company.

2. I only cared about having a good job and buying a house. They were my priorities in my early twenties, and once I achieved both in my mid twenties I was set. Never wanted kids, got married in late 20s. I’ve checked all the boxes.

3. As someone who’s single and in their late 20s, I feel it constantly. Everyone around me is getting engaged, married or having kids. I can’t escape it on social media either. Even the *algorithm* keeps pushing engagement rings etc on my ig explore page.

   I haven’t worked out how to overcome it yet. I feel very left behind, even though I know I shouldn’t.

4. I’ve never paid attention to it so…never, I guess. I don’t see a point.

5. The source of it is mostly my mom so I’d say my Sunday visits to her house are highly likely to include such pressure. Weekly, then. It used to be more when my grandma was still alive, she joined the fun a bit but not too much.

   I’ve finally found a relationship that’s lasting after 4ys single and since I’m 32 my mom has been laying it on thick that we shouldn’t waste time and just get married and have kids already. I told her sure, but I need her to set up a divorce fund.

   I shut her down again recently when she implied my fertility will start being a problem and I should START thinking about that. I think my answer felt like a roar when I told her I’ve been worried about my fertility since I was diagnosed with PCOS at 21 and told to try and have kids by age 30. She shut up.

   I think my brother and father are trying to shut her up, thank god for those two.

   Other than her, occasionally doctors will say something about it, but that’s it.

6. A lot lately now being in my 30s to start having kids.

7. I’m 32. I believe i’m growing out of any pressure from society. Not influenced by others lives like I was in my teens and early 20’s.

   I’ll admit, social media sometimes makes it hard when you see everyone’s perfect happy lives. I just remind myself that it’s not all what it appears to be.

8. I’m not sure how I feel about it because I feel like monetarily I’m farther ahead. Example, I got my house in a wealthy neighborhood at 25 two years ago, have nice vehicles, great dogs, friends, and in shape but I have this odd restlessness that I have this voice in my mind telling me that we don’t get unlimited chances in life so you have to figure out what you TRULY want because everything else becomes a cycle of working hard and rewarding yourself with vices.

9. Rarely now. When I was much younger and living in my home country I would see everyone getting married and having kids so it really affected me but I still resisted mo matter what.

   After I moved abroad the societal pressure to have all those things mentioned was to a lesser degree so I was able to create my own path of happiness. Life isn’t a race.

10. I’ve been married briefly and found nothing in it, and I’ve never wanted children, so that was pretty easy. It does seem like everyone has careers or is on some kind of career path, and I really don’t have that. It sucks but every two or so years my whole life goes down the crapper starting with my job destructing in some way, whether I get canned or my company gets bought out or whatever. But mostly I don’t care about milestones. Reality doesn’t give a shit about when you’re “supposed to” have a relationship, a house, or anything else for that matter. You don’t even have any guarantees you’ll have any of that. So when people start giving me shit about it, I just laugh at them. I don’t have a countdown timer over my head for anything.

11. Daily honestly. Working towards my degree but it’s such a slow and painful process that I feel like I’m behind. I’m 20 for reference and having kids seems unattainable in this economy (I’d like at least one someday not now for sure)

12. I feel it all the time. I’m 23 and the constant pressure to settle down and have a house and have the income of 50 years of experience because this is the “modern world” is an absolute strain. Luckily I’ve come a long way in terms of not caring and allowing time to just do it’s thing as I work towards my goals, but it’s a pain always hearing how we need to tick all the typical boxes as soon as we’re 18.

13. I’m 26 and I feel it constantly. I’ve been feeling it since I was 23 or 24. I’ve been wanting to have kids since I was 18

14. Very rarely, and now that I’m in my mid-late 30s I don’t think there are any societal milestones people are expecting me to hit if I haven’t already done so.

15. When I hear about the salaries of others. I make a stable living, but I won’t be buying a Tesla lol. Then I remember that my past has made me about 5 years behind on life. In my estimate. Amazing I have made it this far. Doesn’t always work but…

16. Quite often, even though I know it’s unrealistic. I’m in my very early 20s, studying a master’s degree. I live on my own, have a relatively stable income, take care of myself and my cat, and help my family when I can. And yet, I feel like I’m falling behind, somehow. Even though it’s damn near impossible to save up for retirement or buy a home because the economy sucks right now and I don’t earn much as a student, I feel like a failure sometimes, like I’m running out of time or too late already.

17. I’m in my fifties, post menopausal and I don’t give a shit about any external pressure/opinions etc.. Wish I’d known that in my twenties.

18. I’m more concerned about the fact that I do not have a college degree at 28. A lot of family drama got in the way of my studies and I hate it. I have a business that keeps me afloat financially so I’m grateful. I’m moving out of my parents house in a couple weeks and I’m counting the days !!

    As for marriage and kids I think about it sometimes but it’s not something I lose sleep over. If it happens cool, if it doesn’t that’s fine ! All I want is more money and peace of mind really. My parents had a very bad marriage that fucked them up along with my siblings and I so yea … not a big fan of wedlock.

    I use to have anxiety attacks in the middle of the night because I felt I was losing at life but realized it was due to subconsciously comparing my life to other peoples’ timeline. Eventually it stopped when I came to the conclusion that I should just live and do my best. Life is too short to worry !

    I’m just working towards being in a much better place financially and career wise when I’m in my 30´s.

19. Not often for romance, etc. My parents aren’t very conventional (my dad came out of the closet when he was in his early 50s and my parents always have been and still are just good friends) and they each aren’t too fond of kids. I honestly think they’re happy that my brother and I each have no intention to find a partner and have kids.

    The job aspect I do feel pressure but it’s mostly in my head. I just sort of assume it’s there since I’m in my early 30s and just scraping by. My family’s never expressed concern or disapproval but I’m afraid they’re just being kind.

20. Never. I don’t want kids, it’s ok with me that I just got a job as a part time cashier, and I’m definitely not looking to get married. I also don’t spend much time on social media, especially IG. I don’t even have the app on my phone. TikTok either. I’m late 20s and I have so much life to live. Almost everyone I know who got married and had kids before age 20-30 is struggling, hard. High rates of single parents and financial woes

    My mother agrees with me. she jokes that my kids are my pets, a cat and dog. She has never pushed me into pregnancy or parenthood. She highly respects that I am not ready for kids. I am in the process of selling my car because it’s too expensive. Idk, I just have really not dealt with any age related pressure, even from my family. They want me to be happy.

    I feel really sorry for the families that push their daughters into early motherhood. It is selfish of them. I am not that person who does things to make others happy or get rid of social pressure.

21. I never really felt it in my 20s, but once I turned 30 I started to more often. I’ll be 32 in a few months. I’ve felt my body changing and that makes me worry about being comfortable when I’m old since I don’t have a career path for retirement benefits, I doubt social security will exist in 40 years lol. My partner and I don’t care about marriage but are feeling ready to have our own home, it feels financially far away. I want to have kids before my time runs out biologically but I want to have a house first and like I said that feels far away. So it becomes a bit of a loop for me. Not every day thoughts but we have been working hard to budget and save to make things feel more attainable. Otherwise I generally enjoy my life from day to day and try to stay present. We have no idea what the world will even look like in 10, 20, 30 years the way things are going…

22. Rarely. I have a life I mostly enjoy. I know what I want and while my friend’s lives look fun, I don’t want what some of them have.

23. [removed]