What is something that was expected of you, that you refused to do?

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  3. Learning to cook. It was “women’s work” for a long time and I refused to do it on that basis. Now I just don’t let people take advantage of it.

  6. Lots of things. Lots of people have expectations, but their expectations don’t create an obligation in me. A few:

    * Have children
    * Stay in my hometown
    * Be a teacher or nurse
    * Put up with abusive behaviors
    * Accept responsibility for family members
    * Stay in a job that was bad for my health
    * Handle all the home management, life management, and mental load for an adult partner

  8. Housework. If i could avoid it i would. I’m not perfect in it and whenever i do it ppl (other women mostly) are like “You didn’t do it right. 🙃”
    WELL THEN DO IT YOURSELF

  9. Buying gifts for my husband’s family’s birthdays and Christmas. If he doesn’t care enough to do it, why should I?

    Changing my surname when I got married. Weirdly this was more of an issue with my family the second time I got married (I didn’t change my name the first time either) and I got a few letters addressed to „Mr and Mrs…“., like they thought if they kept doing it I’d just accept it. I wasn’t at all polite about stamping that out.

  12. Staying in a marriage, especially because we had a child, and accepting that my happiness was not as important as “my family.”

  14. To stay silent and not report SA. I learned there is a price to pay for speaking up including loss relationships and in my case my career. Silence is acceptance and SA should never be accepted.

  15. After years of struggle and heartbreak, I finally refused to try and lose weight anymore. I will never be thin. Every time I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, it always came back. It got to the point where it hurt me too much to try, knowing I was going to fail. I am trying to eat better food for the sake of my health and exercise more, but I would rather look like sh-t than be miserable in life. If I were serious about being thin, I could never enjoy food again. I would have to live only on lean meat, water and vegetables. (I hate vegetables). It just isn’t worth it.

  18. Continue to live in the country I was raised in.

    Change my surname to his once married.

    Compromise my integrity to move up the ladder of success.

  19. Take care of family. Apparently never marrying or having kids starts people to think that I should be everyone’s caregiver.

    The same goes for friends. They want their single auntie to stay home on a Saturday night and watch their kid. Those are called babysitters.

  20. Get some kind of prestigious career that makes a lot of money…fuck you, mom and dad, I’m a fucking mechanic and I love it.

  23. Not speak up against adults when I was younger. I felt I have always been a strong advocate.

  24. Have kids (or want to have kids); stay in the place I grew up (or close by); tolerate verbal abuse and shitty behavior from family members just because they are family

  28. Familial piety is big in my family. I refuse to excuse people’s hurtful behaviours just because they’re family.

  29. Start my career with a company, work for 30+ years and then retire. Instead I started freelancing at 18 and co-own a construction co with my partner that we still have to this day 25 years later.

  30. Learning a ladylike behaviour and mannerism. I sit, walk, talk and behave exactly like I want to and how I feel good doing, no one’s gonna tell me how I can’t sit, talk, walk or think like that just because I happen to be a woman. If my way to sit offends someone it’s their problem, not mine.

    Oh, and the expection of doing dishes together with all other women after every single family meeting. Why men won’t do the dishes, I asked and was told to be quiet, it’s womens job. And when I refused I was being told I was behaving poorly.

  31. Growing up to very religious family, they expect me to stay virgin until I get married as it’s the “best gift I could give to my husband”. Fuck that. Zero regrets losing it.

  32. Shaving. It got to a point where I got so sick of it and dreaded it so much that I decided it just wasnt worth it

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