How do you live without shame and have memories no longer affect you?

12 comments

1. you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.

2. Try to gaslight yourself into thinking you were 8 and be like ‘i was such a goofy child back then’

3. I read this online a long time ago and have no idea if it’s good advice or not. Basically create fake memories so take something painful and pretend that you won the situation. Found myself if you do it enough that occasionally you’ll think back to what actually happened but it won’t haunt you and pop up in your head as much randomly with the fake memory you’re trying to imprint over it.

4. Never forget. If it’s a constant painful reminder move forward with new memories. You have to remind yourself you can’t change the past and you should do out of the ordinary activities.

5. You won’t get rid of shame and bad memories. Although having accomplishments that you can be proud of will help reduce shame. Whenever you feel ashamed about something, remind yourself of that cool thing you did. How many people can say they did that? How much effort did you put into it? You deserve to be proud of yourself. So with that in mind, never stop improving towards something you can be proud of.

6. Accept that what was done in the past is in the past. You can’t change it, and you can’t erase the memories. All you can do is ensure that you don’t make the same mistake again. Even if you’ve made the same mistake multiple time, make sure that from this point onward you don’t. You can’t change who you were, but you can change who you are, and who you’re going to be. I’ve done some things in the past that I’m ashamed of, but I can’t change that they happened. I’ll be the first to admin that I was not a good person back then, but I’m proud of who I am today.

7. let me know when you figure this one out, ok?

8. Honestly the bad memories will stay with you but you can make their presence comparatively smaller by gaining new, good memories.

9. Time, and lots of it sometime. There might be things you never live down for the rest of your life. But at some point you have to decide for yourself if its worth getting worked up over when it does come up. For me, the past is the past, can’t change it, can’t run from it. Just try to be better each day. If you fall, get up.

10. The memories never left me I just decided to not be defined by my failures.

11. Realize that you did the best you could with the information you had at the time

12. This is a weird question because it already implies that shame and guilt are bad. These are necessary for growth. If you look back on something you did or said with cringe, it means you likely wouldn’t do it the same way given the chance and thus you’ve grown.