I just confided a deepest, darkest secret to my partner that I have some suicidal thoughts.l (It’s nothing serious tbh…just sometimes when life really gets out of control I have thoughts of “man….what if I go ‘off'”. ) and I had been molested on a handful of occasions when I was young (around…8 or 9).
I tried to explain to my partner what I meant and the response was “go see a psychologist”, “are you lying?”, “My actions make you suicidal?!”, and “why don’t you try telling YOUR friends and see how THEY respond.”.
My partner knows I do have a hard time verbalizing my feelings and it takes a couple of attempts. But I feel that by telling my partner this, they were more offended/defensive and really lack empathy.
The whole scenario came about us trying to resolve our argument. I let my partner tell me their feelings and I told them mine which goes along the lines of “sometimes I have these thoughts”.
I’m pretty lost on what to do here…we have been together for some time and just got a place together..
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My mentality has not been well lately. Rising interest rates, needing to get another job to cover a mortgage, heavy student debt, dealing with conflicts with parents. I feel like I’m being stretched too thin… I graduated with a master’s + medical degree…although I’m “supposed to be” well off but I’m seriously drowning right now…
His reaction isn’t all that weird honestly. “Go see a psychologist” is a typical and mature response to hearing someone you love tell you they feel suicidal at times. You feel it’s defensive because you’re not admitting it’s an issue yourself and you’re not seeking help.
Your partner can’t address these things for you. He can’t make it feel better or ok. That’s a huge emotional labor for him to make when he’s not equipped with the correct knowledge or terminology.
See a professional. Don’t dismiss things just because it’s “not serious”
Work it out use a relationship journal you write the things you want and expect and have him do the same any topic that causes an argument write it in there and have them respond in writing because it allows you to work things out without emotions taking over and causing a fight