My wife invited me to her birthday last week. She said it was fine if I didn’t want to go, so I said no. She insisted a few more times, and I still said no, because I can’t stand her sister or her parents in general.
But then she started getting more and more insistent until we had a fight and said “if you love me and want to be with me you should want to go to her birthday”. So I caved in.
But now I’m starting to realize that was a big mistake. She doesn’t know I hate her sister because the one time I mentioned not liking her, she almost dumped me. A 10-hour car trip to her city and then a whole weekend around her is starting to sound like hell.
So how the fuck do I get out of this?
15 comments
“Hey, I know what I said before, but after some careful thought, I’ve decided that I will not be accompanying you to your sister’s birthday. However, I hope you two enjoy your sister time, I would never want to interfere with your special time together. Please send my regards and I’ll see you when you get home. This is not up for discussion or negotiation. I hope you have a wonderful time. I’ll hold things down on the home front. Love you.”
Fake the Covid. How about you just be honest and tell her – nah. Then ask why she said it would be ok to not go and then insist on you going?
Tell her you’re not going. If she pushes back, stand your ground, because she had initially told you it was fine if you didn’t want to. The worst that could happen is that she breaks up with you, which tbh doesn’t sound like much of a loss because her behavior seems extremely manipulative and toxic. She almost dumped you just because you said you didn’t like her sister and guilt tripping you for saying no to something she told you was entirely okay to go to, so it definitely seems like you’re the only person invested in making things work here. You deserve to be with someone who won’t play mind games or hold your relationship hostage to get what they want.
Well, you either tell her the truth, fake it as long as you can bear, or leave her.
Making up lies to avoid it is a temporary bandaid at best. Just be honest, you’re married to her ffs.
The only way to get out of going is by telling her you don’t want to go. No, seriously that’s the only way however the consequences of telling her that might be a bit too much for ya. Goodluck
Break up with her
What’s most important is your happiness. If you’re not happy, she won’t be. So be honest, complete honest
You are fucked. Dealing with inlaws is just part of being married. It’s one weekend, just deal with it to make your wife happy. Make sure she knows you are not happy about it but you are being a good sport. Maybe you’ll get something in return.
Give yourself the runs.
Figure out what’s more important, 3 days of doing something you don’t like or the weeks/months of fallout after
I really hate the if you love me then you’ll do it, no no I won’t! Just tell her she already said it was fine you didn’t wanna go, so you’re not going and no is full sentence.
Migraine, sick stomach
When I tell my husband this I mean it. He gets to stay home. Your wife doesn’t say what she really wants and expects you to figure it out. and that’s manipulative
You don’t get out of it. You already committed to go and by all accounts you seem like a lousy negotiator. You should get daily bj’s and anal in exchange for this weekend.
Hmm… I don’t know dude… I’ll be the devils advocate though.
I think you should go and support your wife. She’ll really appreciate it and maybe you guys could get away at some points in time and just enjoy the sites alone together or whatever.
She’s asked you to go multiple times. She really does want you to go. But if you really don’t want to go I would take the top comments advice.
That’s just my opinion though.