I’ve (21F) recently gotten out of a long term relationship a few months ago and I’m finally ready to start dating again. I met this guy (28M) online (he is one of my brother’s close friends) and he is a very nice guy and is interested in me. I’ve had a lot of fun with him and feel like we have built an amazing friendship. As corny as it sounds, he is pretty much everything I look for in a man. The only problem is I’m not at all physically attracted to him and I feel awful about it. I know looks aren’t everything and I wouldn’t say I have “high standards” or that he is even bad looking but I have no physical attraction to him regardless. Normally, even if a person isn’t my “ideal man” look-wise I can fall for them just off their personality alone but for some reason I just can’t. I feel like such a shallow person for that being something that potentially holds me back from good relationship but I also think he deserves someone who likes ALL aspects of him. I know he really fancies me and I like him a lot too but I just can’t see myself being romantic with him because of his looks and its killing me inside. He said this has happened to him before and I can’t imagine how he’ll feel if he knew how I felt. I would truly appreciate any advice at this point because I’m at a loss.
4 comments
Cease all romantic activity with him. It sucks but you don’t control what you’re attracted to. Don’t let people make you feel shallow for this. They can date people they aren’t into if they’re so concerned about it.
I probably wouldn’t tell him youre not attracted to him physically unless its clear literally everything else is great and you’ve been progressing the relationship already. Just tell him you’re not feeling it/you’ve noticed some incompatibilities and wish him the best moving forward.
I know I wouldn’t want to be with a girl that wasn’t attracted to me. It would probably really hurt him, down the road, if he ever found out you aren’t attracted to him.
Normalt true love conquers all. True love makes your partner handsome no matter what. Even if your partner would lose his nose in a accident, you would still feel attracted to him because of true love. Right now you only care about his looks, you have other priorities because you arent in love it seems. Love makes someone blind to the bad things Of a person. But you seem to focus too much on his appearance. Maybe you were raised by friends or society to think that appearance is so important. But little do you know, if you were truly in love then you would but head over heels with him-> no matter how he looks like. You would still feel attracted to him no matter what
I’ve gone out with great guys who I wasn’t attracted to in the past and it always ended badly because that physical attraction never grew. You don’t have to think they’re a 10/10 but there has to be something you’re attracted to or it won’t work and they deserve to be with someone attracted to them