I (22F) lived with my boyfriend (23M) for 3 years.
I will start by saying that for the 3 years we where together i was madly in love we did everything together and i had never knew him to want to see other people or ever had the feeling he would ever cheat. We had a great relationship and we where a good team where everything for eachother and i felt like he could be the man i could marry and have a family with.
Last going off we had to move in with his parents due to hard times in covid and one day we decided to separate in order to get our companys and our lives started individually. We always wanted to keep things open and stay in contact. There was still a possibility that we would end back up together we both just wanted to improve ourselves individually before we settled down together we discussed the possibility of seeing other people but that we would cross that bridge when we came to it kind of thing, So i packed up and left to my home Provence well, I learned that he started messaging some girl not even 3 days after i had moved out and at the same time i seen his snapmap saying he was at some weird location however it was so close to his house i thought it may of been a glitch and he told me there was nothing going on so i let it go but once we talked about what we where to eachother now everything changed.
I leaned what he really wanted was something he called a “foundational partner” to him that meant that i would stick around still be there for him for whatever whenever he wanted me but that we would both be free to sleep with other people he explained it like as if he just has such a big heart he could love many women at the same time and didnt want to loose me but that never would work for me. I have always been a loyal person and could never have eyes for someone else at the same time he knew that aswell i was always open about how i viewed open relationships and was not about to put myself in that situation where i was aware i would get hurt so when i told him that for the last time it was clear that it may be our last conversation. We where very sensible about it untill it wasnt and he said something that was unnecessary and ruined any chance of staying friends.
The next day he messaged me saying the usual he will always love me and wished me well i messaged back briefly and ignored any other messages. The next day i looked at his location on snapchat and he was in the same weird place he was before and overnight again i knew snap wouldnt glitch in the same place twice so now i knew the truth. I sent him a message saying that i dont want anything to do with him anymore or his f buddy relationship dream he wanted and i blocked him.
So what do you think was he wrong to want to keep me around while he had relations with other people?
Do you think snapmaps was just wrong?
Or was i to harsh and should have kept him even as a friend?
Thanks for reading
11 comments
I think you did the right thing blocking him. Being friends is so much harder than you think. You are not on the same page. What you want is not the same. It’s okay to just move on.
“he explained it like as if he just has such a big heart”
Lmao no he don’t. Your bf just wants to creampie a dozen more women that aren’t you. Leave his dumb ass.
I think you snooped on your ex boyfriend and got mad he’s already sleeping with someone else. He’s not the guy for you and you are definitely the girl for him. Just move on.
Sounds like he wants you to join his sex MLM.
Hmmm well it seems to me this is his version of bringing up being Poly but if you’re not okay with that then that’s also okay
>a “foundational partner” to him that meant that i would stick around still be there for him for whatever whenever he wanted me but that we would both be free to sleep with other people
Otherwise known as **the backup plan**. People do this when they want to have their cake and eat it too. He knows you care about him, he knows you have history, but he wants to fuck around with no consequences, commitment, or responsibility. All the conveniences of knowing you have a chick you can call whenever you want to get laid or get the girlfriend experience, with absolutely none of the effort on his end.
Nope. You’re worth more than that, and you know it, which is why you dumped him, and why he should remain dumped. You aren’t his side bitch; you aren’t his quickie to call when he wants a little attention and Tinder chicks aren’t biting. If you want a *real* relationship, then run far, far away from him, because he’s not going to give it to you. This has nothing to do with his *big huge heart* that just *needs* to provide *every woman on the planet* *so generously* with his *super valuable* love, and everything to do with his ego and wanting to get his dick wet.
Don’t entertain men that are fucking around on you, and **especially** not ones that are *stupid* enough to tell you outright that they’re doing it [and want you to be ok with it.] You’re 22 – you have plenty of time to find someone who is past the frat bro asshole stage of development. He’s not your lover, and he’s definitely not your friend – friends don’t use each other like that.
Nope.
You just aren’t compatible, let it go.
It didn’t work out and that is OK. Better to rip the band aid off and move on. Just leads to more hurt and disappointment to keep pursuing this. You already know your values with monogamy don’t align for example. This isn’t a forever relationship type of situation.
Move on and don’t look back. He just wanted to use you as a fallback
I’m glad he’s your ex because he’s completely full of shit. I would block him on every social media platform and never speak to him again.
Leave and stay blockef