I’m a 20 year old male and i think there is something wrong with me. Every time i have sex with a female i lose interest and just move on to a next one. I feel like i’m addicted to the chase and the feeling of winning someone over. I talk to a girl, we go out, have sex and boom i never want to see her again. Recently i’ve started feeling extreme guilt and disgust in myself and i don’t understand why i behave this way. Should i see a therapist?
4 comments
yes see a therapist
Hahahaha what a sweet question, yes this is totally normal. The reason it’s happening is because you need to develop a relationship with the girl before sleeping with her. Commit to being exclusive before you are intimate, then your problem will go away because you will have connected emotionally. My rule is wait for sex til marriage but still do intimate things, then when you do have sex it will be from a real place of love and the feelings will grow
However most girls seem to just jump on men in this society so good luck finding a girl who will make you wait! It’s apparently quite rare these days, I’m so grateful I don’t have to deal with this
Yes. If not an option, google attachment style. Often this is a classic sign of disorganized attachment, where you both want a relationship but also don’t want one. People with disorganized attachment will feel perfectly happily pursuing someone, but once the idea sets in that they can actually have a relationship with someone they lose interest.
Figure out and address why you lose interest and you’ll break the pattern. Do you feel trapped by people depending on you or needing you because you struggle to set boundaries and can’t handle the pressure, do you fear being hurt, resent other people needing you, think emotionally depending on someone is weak?
Being able to both be cared for and to care for others is what relationships are about, and you do that by establishing emotional connections with others. When you struggle to connect emotionally either respecting/sharing your feelings or the other persons feelings it’ll be hard to sustain or sometime even be interested in a relationship.
Post nut clarity is a real, biological thing. After you cum, if you don’t actually like the girl you won’t want to be anywhere near her. When it’s the right one, you’ll know and won’t feel that way.